Thursday, September 15, 2016

#TBT 2005

I took this picture exactly ELEVEN YEARS AGO today (baby feet and toesies!), and I honestly don't remember the day-to-day of those years when I had a newborn, a 1 year old and a 3 (almost 4) year old.
Two of them in diapers at the same time (RIP stinky Diaper Genie, you worked some damn OVERTIME), carting two of them around in a double stroller while sometimes Eldest would walk, or else I'd put Youngest in the Baby Bjorn on my chest and stroll the older two...
It's a little bit akin to PTSD (or perhaps old age?) in that that part of my life is mere bits and pieces of memories. I remember feeling constantly overwhelmed---like I was running around in circles, yet not accomplishing much of anything except keeping three humans alive. I considered it a good! day! if I managed to brush my own teeth at some point. Seriously, my gold standard of excellence was entirely based on if I was able to conduct some sort of personal hygiene routine that day on myself. Most days it was a fail, but hey, it was good to have goals.
Man, those early days...that turned into years (the Terrible Twos, the Tortuous Threes, the F*cking Fours, potty training, nighttime Olympics)...were SO HARD, but oh so worth it.
I kinda just want the 2016 Me to be able to go back in time, to that very day on September 15, 2005, and hug the 2005 Me and say, "Hang in there. The hours and days may feel slow, but you'll blink and they'll be 14 (almost 15), 12 and 11.  You're doing a good job, Momma."

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