Forget About Finding Bigfoot!

My boyz are obsessed with the show "Finding Bigfoot" on the Animal Planet channel.  Our DVR is chock-full of episodes, and every time I enter the room, there the 3 of them are, eyes glued to the screen.  (Nevermind Bigfoot, now THAT is a phenomenon!  3 boyz sitting quietly and NOT fighting?!)

Honestly, I haven't given the show much attention.  While they are watching, I am usually making a healthy meal or cleaning or exercising face-deep into Facebook or Skype, but I DO listen to it.

And from what I can gather, there's some dude named "Bobo", a woman, and 2 other dorks scientists who sit around in the woods in the middle of the night with infrared lights and make weird animal noises, in hopes of attracting a Sasquatch.  (Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think the names Sasquatch and Bigfoot are interchangeable?)

Uh, do these folks have lives?  Is this their actual job?  Do they get paid to hang out in the woods looking for giant hairy creatures?

Because, you know what?  As a busy full-time working Mom of three, I have some ideas for what these people could do BESIDES trying to find (an imaginary creature named) Bigfoot:

How about coming over to my Trenches where it's warm, indoors, and where no middle-of-the-night hours are required and...

Finding My Keys?

Or...Finding Out Who Really Broke That Toy?

Or...Finding a Quick and Healthy Meal for Me to Make?

Perhaps...Finding That Damn Other Winter Glove?

Or...Finding Me More Time in the Day?

Ooooh!  I got it!  

How about Finding Me The Remote?

So I can change the channel to Toddlers and Tiaras.  Or Dance Moms.  Either, really.

So What Happened To Your Face?

You know when it's either *that time of the month* or when you're feeling stressed?

You feel it start to form.

That red bump.

Usually on your face, and of course just conspicuous enough to not be hidden by any turtleneck, scarf, etc...

That red bump that grows.

Right from the get-go, you know it's not gonna be a *normal* one.

One that behaves appropriately. One that cooperates. One that comes to a head pretty quickly, POPS!, and then heals. (You totally know what I mean.)

BUT NO.

This red bump is different.

This red bump is ANGRY.

This red bump just swells. And swells. With no end in sight.

And because you can't keep your hands off it (you know you can't) you make it worse by poking. By squeezing. By touching.

All to no avail.

The red bump wins.

What? You have no idea what I'm talking about?

You never touch your face?

You never poke and prod and WILL that zit to pop??

Yeah, me neither.

Please notice my purty scarf as a distraction.  

And when asked about the bandaid, I totally said that I cut myself shaving.  Heh.

I Have Never...

In order to try to get myself back into the habit of blogging, I thought I'd write this fun post about things I have never done before...

Believe it or not, the idea for this came about as I was in the salad bar line at work, watching someone put clumps of tofu (I believe that's the technical term) on their salad.  And I thought to myself, "Hmmm...I have honestly NEVER tried tofu before."

So I....

...proceeded to move on.  NO WAY am I trying tofu!  I imagine its texture and taste to be a bit like a kitchen sponge. Am I right?

Here goes:

1.  I HAVE NEVER eaten tofu.  Obvs.

2. I HAVE NEVER driven successfully driven a stick-shift car.

3.  I HAVE NEVER watched one single episode of Mad Men.  Or Dexter.  Or Grey's Anatomy.  (But I HAVE watched every.single.episode. of every.single.season of the Real Housewives!  So there's that...)

4.  I HAVE NEVER really felt the urge to get a tattoo.  Of anything.  Anywhere on my body.  No thanks.

5. I HAVE NEVER been to Vermont (even though I live in New England).

6. I HAVE NEVER seen any of the Godfather movies.  Or Scarface.

7.  I HAVE NEVER ridden a horse.

8.  I HAVE NEVER had a surprise party.

9. I HAVE NEVER broken a bone.

10. I HAVE NEVER drank a cup of coffee.

11.  I HAVE NEVER taken my children to DisneyWorld.  (Related:  I have also never been to Vegas = adult Disney.)

12.  I HAVE NEVER been on Pinterest...yet.


Ok, your turn. What's one thing you have never done before?

Making Wishes

I'm sure you've noticed that there has been lots of radio silence in this space lately.

Safe to say, I seem to have lost that loving feeling my blogging mojo.

So much so that I couldn't even find the words to do a birthday post for Hubby yesterday on his 42nd birthday.

Hubby has made it clear that he doesn't really want to be written about, whether it's here or on Facebook.  Sometimes I have written about him anyway.  Other times I haven't shared, in respect of his wishes.

I'm finding it hard to strike a balance between savoring life's moments and keeping them locked in my brain and heart; or recording them more concretely in this space, this space I have especially carved out for those very moments.  To share with others.  To relate to others.  To carve my niche.

And so, in the meantime, I keep quiet while sarahviz.com gathers dust and cobwebs.  (I fully admit I'm not a great cleaner.)

Please bear with me.

(And happy belated birthday to Hubby, the old man best father and husband a gal could ever be so lucky to have.  Mwah.)

My Brother's Return From Afghanistan

Some items of note:

1. I sooo wish my family and I had been able to be at the airport as well. You know my boyz would have been CUH-RAZY with excitement.

2. Speaking of, I kinda love how my Nephew is humping Dan's leg.

3. My brother Mike KNEW that the news cameras would be there, so he totally prepped for the cameras. Poser.

Back to Blogger (and Blogging!)

So remember when I took a blogging break and switched over to Wordpress?

Yeah, that.

I learned something about myself.

I am not technical.  And more importantly, I'm not great at learning new things.  I procrastinate.  I dread.  I complain.  I ignore.

And thus this here blog has started collecting cobwebs and dust.

And my brain is filled to the brim with blog posts.

All because Wordpress was so intimidating to me. 

Friday Bulletpoints

• I don't think I have ever been as excited for a movie to come out as I am for The Hunger Games.  You guys, I am like a rabid fourteen year old Fan Girl or something.  March 23rd!  (You can even "like" it on Facebook.)  Please tell me that you have read all 3 books.  I don't think we can be friends if you haven't.

• Thank you for all your kind words and reassurance about Middle's dental experience.  Trust me, I am way more scarred than he is.  He's totally fine.

• So I am about to take the plunge on this here blog and switch from Blogger to Wordpress.  And I'm nervous.  I know NOTHING.  So first, which Wordpress theme do I want?  Thesis, Headway, or Genesis?  (Twitter is telling me that Thesis is best.)  Discuss. 

• AND...do I want to keep my header, or is it time for a redesign?  I'm kinda fond of the peeing boys, actually.  And the lampshade.  So maybe it's the blog title that could use a change?  I mean, I'm not really "in the trenches of mommyhood" these days.  I work full-time, the boyz are getting older way too quickly, and they rarely *sob* call me mommy...but if I just switch to "sarahviz", then I lose that whole parenting blogger/brand name/recognition thing I have had going with "trenches of mommyhood" for the past 4 years...Discuss.

• I'm the type of person who LOVES having something to look forward to.  Doesn't matter what it is--I totally thrive on the anticipation.  Up next?  A trip!  To San Antonio, TX for Hubby's work conference in November.  Cannot wait.  Have you ever been there?  Any recommendations?  Discuss.

• AND...I just found out that the Amsterdam trip for my work that didn't happen this fall WILL happen in the spring.  My ugly passport photo and I are ready to go!

• Fourth grade homework is just about killing me.  Eldest has an "old school" teacher (to put it nicely).  She's the first one we've had who hasn't been affectionate and warm fuzzy.  She is all business and rarely smiles.  I was actually kind of intimidated by her at Open House.  She pretty much gave the impression that she is counting down until retirement.  How this is affecting us is by the amount/quality of the homework and projects that Eldest is bringing home.  As in--TONS but with not much relevance.  She seems to have an affinity for worksheets.  And last-minute projects.  (As in, make a batch of HOMEMADE clay tonight.  And it must be blue.)  My complaint is where do you draw the line?  When is it truly the child's project and when does it become the parents' project if the instructions clearly are not 4th grade appropriate and even the adults are having a hard time deciphering what is required?  Ok, end rant.  We'll get through it. 

• Ummm...is it almost Halloween or is it almost Christmas?  All the box stores--Walmart, Target, BJs are guilty of shoving tinsel and fake trees down our throats already.  Can't we just get through frigging Halloween first?  I remember the good old days when Christmas season didn't truly start until after the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.  *sigh*

• Speaking of Halloween, I have no clue what the boyz will be this year.  I mean, I am definitely encouraging the re-wearing of the stuff we already have...and I've heard rumors that Middle wants to be Spiderman (check--we have a costume); Baby wants to be a policeman (check--been there, done that), but that Eldest wants to be a fighter/boxer.  So we'll see.  And?  My Trenches are still devoid of pumpkins and mums.  I suck at festive holiday yard decorating.

• Are you like me and have 751 photos and videos on your iPhone that have never been downloaded anywhere else?  Yeah.  True story.  I just found this new app though!  It's called PostalPix and you can order prints right from your iPhone!  Love love love. 

• We randomly receive correspondence from my brother Dan in Afghanistan.  He gets on Facebook when he can, and he and I play Words With Friends together.  He has received 3 of our 6 packages thus far, and says the troops love to get mail.  If you are interested in mailing a package (no pressure whatsover!  I just know that sometimes it's nicer to put a name to a face to make it more personal) please e-mail me directly for Dan's address.  Mailing boxes are FREE from the post office, and they charge a flat rate of $13 to mail the box, so you can make it as heavy as you want.  It's wicked easy.

• I finally bit the bullet and did something (anything!) with my frizzed out, over-processed mop of gray on my head. I got about 2-3 inches trimmed and layered, and went DARKER for fall:

Is it just me, or do you think that when you get something sorta drastic done to your hair and people you know fairly well don't comment on it at all, does that mean they don't really like it but don't want to say anything?  Because I find this awkward.

And then there was Hubby's comment about the hair color:  "What?  So now you're going Goth?"

Have a nice weekend!