First, we have the Weird Tanline Collection:
For when you want to sexily "hide" your belly button...
You may want to re-think wearing a v-neck tee with these tan lines...
Argyle! On your skin!
Is that a belt buckle on the side?
Ummm, but what if your boobs hang low? Methinks they'd come out the bottom of that suit...
Why yes, I DO have gumdrop shaped tanlines on my boobs.
A lace doily!
Macrame! Fashion this yourself using your child's rainbow loom!
Crochet! Grandma would be so proud!
And finally, we have the WTF Collection:
Ball gag and handcuffs not included.
It doubles as a bib! For when you chow down that messy sub sammich on the beach.
1986 called. They want their cheesy floral off-the-shoulder halter top back.
I like to think this is what I look like when I'm yelling at my kids on the beach.
Obviously inspired by JLo's famous dress. Crotch sand optional.
I told you there was something for everyone:
Here's Vicky's cute bikini for all you one-armed ladies out there.
This is my favorite post to write every year! Here are my previous Victoria's Secret bathing suit posts--please share!