Thursday, March 15, 2018

Are You Victoria's Secret Bathing Suit Ready? The 2018 Edition!

Here in New England, we've weathered three (3!) Nor'Easters all within the span of a few weeks...and supposedly there's another one looming on the horizon next week. And's MARCH, dammit.

But in the spirit of being optimistic (because that's soooooo me) let's just skip right over spring and think about SUMMER! The sun, the warmth, the drinks, the BEACH!  And what does one wear to the beach? Why of course, you don your best string bikini from Victoria's Secret, right? (Again, that's sooooo me.)

Up first we have this creative tye-dye number. It's a DIY'er! Grab your tightest tee, cut the shit out of it, and go to town with the dye! Hey, have your kids help you!

Ummm, either this is a great breastfeeding suit (just untie and whip out the boob), or a horribly dangerous idea (small children, easy lace to untie with little fingers and then boom, you look down and you're exposed). Kids these days!

Remember Cats Cradle that we used to do with yarn/string in the 80's? This is the bathing suit equivalent.

Mom truth: The sides of my legs up to my waist are NOT the most flattering area on my bod. I feel like my skin would totally try to escape that netting and would bulge out the sides. Not a good look. 

Does this model have nipples? Where are they?!

Victoria finally came up with an educational bathing suit: Here kids, it's time to learn to tie. Lie down on Momma's back and practice!

Why oh why would you ever want those tan lines?! 

If that string comes untied, do your bottoms fall off?

Hey, happy shopping!

1 comment:

Serenityville said...

Gosh the anorexia...that last one? So sad.


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