Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Are You Victoria's Secret Bathing Suit Ready? The 2017 Edition!

How timely! While most of the Northeast is experiencing this March winter storm, we can thank our lucky stars for Victoria and her secrets! So get your wallets ready ladies, it's time to go bathing suit shopping...

First up, we have the g-string....except it's not on your butt. Because who doesn't want a thong tan line ON THEIR BACK?

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Somehow I feel like these bottoms wouldn't look the same on me. I mean, what with my thigh/hip fat bulging through that netting like Jack Nicholson in The Shining.

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For those of you who are a bit more modest, may I offer you Victoria's Secret version of a mock turtleneck?

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This bathing suit brought to you by 1985, your curly permed hair, and a ball of yarn. (And for that extra special bonus, you get underboob tan lines!)


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Because sometimes you just gotta harness those tatas!

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The bigger your boobs, the harder those poor strings have to work.

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Victoria's Secret: The Miami Vice edition

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And finally, she sells seashells...by the boobshore.




1 comment:

Pam said...

Year after year - this cracks me up.

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