1. Your cute capri pants are suddenly hard to button and you wonder why your damn dryer keeps shrinking your clothes.
2. Your boobs look like inflated balloons, even without wearing your Victoria's Secret chicken cutlet pushup bra.
3. You haven't met a salty potato chip that you didn't immediately cram into your mouth.
4. Ditto for anything chocolate.
5. When your husband asks you what's wrong, you just roll your eyes and mutter, "NOTHING, I'M FINE."
6. Everything and everybody is annoying.
7. When you hear your children fighting, instead of refereeing like you usually do, you hide in the bathroom playing Candy Crush and let them duke it out on their own instead.
8. Your cramps feel like labor pains.
9. Ice cream for dinner seems perfectly rational.
10. Even your goddamn underwear feels tight.