Wednesday, March 05, 2014

7 Things I'm Sick Of This Winter

Dear Mother Nature,

Hi.  You look pretty today.  I just wanted to check in to see if perhaps we've done something to piss you off?  You seem to be more, shall we say, angry this winter and we here in the Northeast are certainly feeling the effects of your temper.  I'm pleading with you to just plaster a smile on your face (in the form of warm sunshine) and fake it till ya make it, like the rest of us do.  It is, after all, MARCH.

Did I tell you that you look pretty?



1.  Butt white skin that is flaky and dry and itchy.

2.  My car that is dingy and dirty and has started to rust.  But why bother to go to the carwash?  It's just gonna snow/sleet/rain again.

3.  Pot holes in the road the size of craters.  See also:  Trying to avoid.

4.  The fact that the boys haven't been able to play outside and are a bit, uh, FREAKING STIR CRAZY.

5.  Our annoying woodstove that yes, heats our Trenches, but yes, also makes me sweat because it's hard to regulate.  Imagine constantly feeling that trickle that starts mid-back and slides down into your butt crack.  (You totally know what I'm talking about - don't act like you don't.)

6.  Said woodstove also leaves a fine layer of dust all over everything surrounding it.  Every. Day.  
So our Trenches always look a little bit, uh, filthy.  Which makes me feel like:  

7.  We have 2 fridges - one in the kitchen and one in the garage.  We keep all our water, sodas, juiceboxes, etc. in the garage.  I can't tell you how many times this winter I've had a frozen soda explode on me when I open it.

I'm done.  Over it.  Ready to Spring Forward on Saturday and soak in some sunlight.  Ready for the snow to melt.  Ready to shave down.  Ready to pack the winter coats, hats and boots away.

Let's do this, Mother Nature.  Please be kind.  We've had enough.

Because another snowstorm in March or even April?

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