Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Dear Nike, You Win

Dear Nike,

When all the marketing heads were gathered around a table at your headquarters brainstorming your Next Big Thing, did people scoff when that one nerdy guy spoke up and said, "How about socks?  Let's focus on our socks."

Socks?  They probably all laughed.  And then thought hmmmmm....maybe Nerdy Frank's idea isn't such a bad one.  We could market them as "Elite" socks!  And make them in all different bright flashy annoying clashing colors!  And charge upwards of FIFTEEN DOLLARS!  All for a pair of socks!  And those suckers, errrr...valuable consumers out there might just actually buy them.

And then I'm guessing someone else spoke up and suggested, "Hey!  What about the children?  If we can get those whiny snot-nosed kids on board, well, then we're golden.  And hey, make that a sock color!  Golden.  With some turquoise.  And bright orange, perhaps."

So Nike, last year was the first we were introduced to your Nike Elite socks.  Eldest wanted them, nay, had to have them, for basketball season.  All of a sudden his regular tube socks weren't good enough.  He needed the stripes down the back.

So fast forward to now, Nike.

My boys have spent their own money on socks.  We actually buy socks as gifts for their friends.  The boys are excited when they receive socks as gifts.  We have spent (and continue to spend!) way.too.much.on your socks.  Your FIFTEEN DOLLAR ELITE SOCKS.

Frankly, I'm embarrassed.

Sorting socks is fun!  But only if they're Elites.

You win, Nike, you win.

You suckered us.  With expensive socks.  That boys and men wear over their stinky feet and jagged toenails.

 That there is over $300 worth.  Of SOCKS.



P.S.--For your next Big Thing, can you consult with me first, perhaps? I'm over your damn socks.


Terra Heck said...

LOL I can totally relate. I have a teenage son who decided two years ago that Nike socks are the ONLY brand he can wear. So, just as you do, he now gets them as gifts.
It's amazing that a pair of socks with a swoosh symbol cost so darn much.
Luckily, knock on wood, my other teenage son doesn't care what brand of socks he wears as long as they don't have holes in them.

Maureen said...

We have just been introduced to this world of socks. I almost chocked. I tried to buy what I thought were the desired ones at Target! Nope, those went back. Off to the mall, and 30 dollars later he got two pairs. Two whole pairs.... crazy talk!

Meridith said...

I know!!!! What the hell!!!????


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