Tuesday, December 04, 2012

Morning Hell

Any parent who asserts that their morning routine runs smoothly and that they are able to get out of the house, or get their kids out of the house, without incident, is someone I kinda want to punch in the throat.

Because, really?

How is this possible?

You guys, I swear I say the EXACT SAME THINGS OVER AND OVER AGAIN.  Each and every morning.

What do you want for breakfast? Come eat now! Tell me what you want!  Don't pick up the dog.  Leave the dog alone.  Are you buying or carrying today?  Go pick out your lunch stuff.  What kind of sandwich do you want?  Stop chasing the dog.  Put the dog down.  Go get dressed!  You're late!  I'm late!  Stop touching the dog.  Has the dog been fed?  No fighting.  Stop touching each other.  Knock it off.  Cut it out.  Stop!

I SAID STOP!  FDASHFJDKSAJDFKLS;AJDF WHY DOES NO ONE LISTEN TO ME???!!! JDAKFJ;DKA;JGKDSL;JF *head explosion*

Now, mind you, it's not like I set out each morning with the sole purpose of turning into a raging crazy loonytoon.  Not at all.  I get up.  I shower.  I get myself dressed and ready for work.  Peacefully and quietly.

Namaste.

I head downstairs.

To where the 3 of them are...

And that's when it all starts to unravel.

I say something once.  No response.  I say it again.  Perhaps a response, but not always.  And then I scream speak more loudly in order to get their attention.

(During this time, Hubby is usually in the shower, so he misses all the shenanigans.  Conveniently.)

By the time I leave for work, I'm sweating, my throat hurts from yelling, and I usually have peanut butter smeared somewhere on my work clothes. 

Fun times.

So tell me, how are *your* weekday mornings?!

Picture title:  That One Time My Children Were Actually Calm At the Breakfast Table





5 comments:

amanda said...

big goes to afternoon preschool which means we have alllll morning. but those last ten minutes before we are walking out? i swear i could lose my mind.

i am not sure how we are going to pull off an eight am start time next year.

Jennifer said...

My mornings are pretty much exactly like that, but trade a cat for the dog.

booksandcandy said...

I have commented before and feel that I need to remind everyone reading that I don't have any kids so therefore I am no expert. However since I work in a child care setting I am somewhat familiar to crazy mornings. I read about this idea for the classroom but it could work at home. What if you set your alarms on your smart phone to music. An alarm for each time something needs to be done; one for eating breakfast, one for picking out lunch; and one for getting dressed. FUN MUSIC that they like. Instead of always reminding them in your gentle mom voice what needs to be done, when they hear the music they get up and get the chore done. I have no idea if that would work. But maybe it's worth a shot.
If you think I am crazy just roll your eyes and say to yourself "what does she know" it's okay

Tara said...

Mine are crazy too - mostly my husband takes the mornings, but the few times I have to do it, I want to kill the kids. I have found that keeping the TV off helps them to hear me better. Weird, right?

Beth H said...

Here too. Here too.

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