We already knew that he had his teacher wrapped around his little finger, as evidenced by his flawless report card with good grades and positive comments like:
"Shows self control. Is a good listener. Pays attention. Respectful to others."
What?! Because, at home, in our Trenches, this kid does exactly the opposite.
Can't control himself. Doesn't listen. Doesn't pay attention. IS MOUTHY.
We actually had to STUDY the report card to make sure that it was talking about OUR CHILD.
He's Eddie Haskell. Totally.
Anyway, as we were walking out of the classroom, basking in the afterglow of the teacher's comments about our wonderful son and feeling like Parents of the Year, we noticed a series of projects in honor of the Presidential election.
Each paper had a picture of a child wearing spectacles, with an American flag waving in the background and the beginning sentence, "If I was President..."
Most of the ones I glanced at were super earnest and sincere. "If I was President I would feed hungry children." "If I was President I would cure cancer." "If I was President I would not let anyone be sick." And so on and so forth.
Here was MY child's project, hanging on the classroom door for ALL to see:
I don't think I even need to tell you that we really are pretty conscious about not swearing around our three children
At Open House this fall, when asked to write about what his favorite thing to do was, Baby wrote "to play calla dooty". (That's Call of Duty. A violent shooting game that we DON'T EVEN OWN.)
Oh hi teacher who now thinks that we let our children play bloody video games while we cuss at them.
P.S. His teacher is getting a REALLY NICE Christmas gift. Bless her heart.