Why, it's time to start thinking about bathing suit season, of course!
Luckily, we always have the ever-so-helpful Victoria's Secret at our disposal. Because their swimsuits are oh-so-practical for us moms! We should all own at least 10 of their suits.
Let's start with one-pieces, shall we?
I'm sure that metal waist piece wouldn't get hot AT ALL in the sun. Or leave press marks.
Hmmm...I feel like we've seen a variation of this one before. Yup. You mean they keep this in the rotation because people are ACTUALLY BUYING IT? I think you DIY-gals could start making these yourselves with old swimsuits! Etsy, here you come!
Moving on to bikinis...
Those metal rings serve as a perfect place to hang your keychain! Or your beer bottle opener!
Hey! When I build sand castles with my children, that's exactly how I sit in the sand too!
OF COURSE you want your ass cheeks hanging out as you're frollicking on the beach with your family!
C'mon ladies, show the world your c-section scar! But don't forget to wax! And by wax, I mean PUBES COMPLETELY OFF.
Feeling a little modest? No worries! Here are some cover-up options:
The What's the Point of Wearing a Cover-up? Cover-up
The For When You Have to Leave the Beach To Go Right to Your Candy-Striping Job Cover-up
And for when you hit the topless beach?
Don't forget your macrame booty shorts!
You're welcome.
5 comments:
Oh my gosh - hilarious. I remember your post last year about this. And (embarrassingly enough), I bought a VS monokini last year... it is actually really cute... if you are standing up or laying flat. There is no in-between option for the monokini - you have to have your body in a straight line. While I'm comfy in my body, I'm also realistic, and know that none of these are what I plan on sporting this year! :)
Bahahahahaaaaa...or your beer opener!
I like the ruching on the ass...because otherwise, who would know there was a crack there???
Ugh. Why do I want to punch whoever puts this catalog together? Get real, Victoria's Secret. Who actually wears this stuff? Your take on it, however, is quite funny. Well played.
I am just afraid that in bathing suit #2 my fat would spill out in between the cut-outs and that would just be all kinds of ugly.
I guess I will stick with my matronly bathing suits.
I love the DIY idea on the second one. Now I know what to do in my
old bathing suit in my closet. Lol!
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