Wednesday, August 31, 2011

On Being Antisocial

Sometimes, I'm a total Social Butterfly.  I seek out others, I make conversation, I am engaging and witty.  I plan Girls Nights.  I organize.  I cajole others to join in.  I'm FUN, dammit. 

Other times, notsomuch.  I'm a total Antisocial Flutterby.  (Get it?  Butterfly-flutterby?  I kill me.)  The thought of having to hold a conversation with anyone else fills me with dread.  I lower my eyes.  I bury my head.  I avoid all eye contact.  All I want is BE ALONE.

When I walk in the door from work, my biggest goal is (1) to be able to immediately take my bra off and (2) to not have to socialize with anyone but my children and husband for the remainder of the day.

A super-long baseball season that extended well beyond what we all expected and thus going straight into football season totally screwed up those goals of mine.

All summer, I was forced to sit on hard bleachers, with one eye on the field, one eye on crazy Middle and Baby running around like maniacs because they simply CAN'T sit still; and one eye on the parent I was painfully attempting to make small talk with.  All while wearing a proper bra and NOT being comfy in my own home.

(Yes, I realize I don't have three eyes.  Bygones.) 

AND THEN for the entire month of August, I HAD to attend football practice, as all 3 boys were practicing at the same time.  And since Hubby was on the field coaching, I needed to be there as well.

Yet again, wearing a bra, and talking to others.

Shoot me now.

Thankfully, I made it through the month of August with my marriage still intact.  You guys, I have been a BEAST to live with.

I don't want to go anywhere and be hosted.  And I don't want to host anyone at our place either.

The Antisocial - it has taken over. 

I'm trying to climb out.

Not being forced to attend football practices is going to help.  Now that school has started, Eldest and Middle have practices on Wednesdays and Fridays.  Baby, on the other hand, has practices on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  Do you know what that means?

It means I?  Don't have to go to the field at all.  I get to stay home with whoever DOESN'T have practice that night.  Score!

I'm hoping that having a set family schedule; that being able to prepare nightly meals; that spending my nights at home instead of on a football field will help the Social Butterfly in me to emerge once again this September.

Being able to cook dinner bra-less is just a bonus.

P.S. Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels this way...


19 comments:

HaB said...

Its comforting to know that I am not the only one that just about immediately walks into the house and removes her bra. Some days when the afternoon clock is dragging, just the thought of that is what gets me through the rest of the work day.

I too just last weekend said to my husband, I am ready for fall. I'm ready for slower pace of life, the big, warm comforting food filled Sunday dinners, the crisp morning and cold nights. There is just a tranquil calm that comes with fall and I for one am ready for it.

I hope the coming weeks get easier and you find your Social Butterfly....

Maureen said...

I really can't imagine not having a bra on... I have worn one every day (and night) for six years.... well a bra support tank thing at night...ever since my eldest was born.

I know that's not what you mean by your question, but that is EXACTLY how my husband feels after work - not wanting to see anyone or be outside having to talk to people. I'm the opposite, but I am the one home all day.

Mari said...

I feel like you are living my life except that for us it's hockey practice. I just want to go home take of my bra (the best feeling in the world) and put on sweats. Hockey season is way too long!

trifitmom said...

i am so like this. i swear i get anxiety ridden when i know i have to talk to people. i am so bad that i have figured out how to even go out in public sans bra. b/c why put one on only to come home and rip it off ??? i am always amazed at those people who HAVE to be around others. i have a couple of friends and i swear they are never alone. they have people over all the time. i think they hate being alone.

slouchy said...

I call myself an introverted extravert. I'm on the line. And consequently always dissatisfied.

B's Mom said...

In our house, it's hockey season, which lasts for 6 months! When work is over, I just want to wear comfy clothes, be in my house, and not have to be social to anyone.

Shell said...

Oh girl- I so get like this.

Though, we are just heading into our crazy season- it's time for soccer.

Making It Work Mom said...

I am a natural introvert and though I enjoy people, having to see and talk and be pleasant with other people all the time takes an extraordinary amount of effort.

I am so done with people right now.

I have spent the past week ignoring phone calls, texts, emails - only responding to the bare minimum.

And tonight I was ridiculously rude to someone, but I really didn't care. I turned my back to a person and walked away as they were talking to me.

To the casual observer it may have seemed extremely rude and out of character, but to me it was simply all about survival. I could not stand there and "be pleasant" for one more second so I left rather than say something I may regret.

You know it is bad when you would rather be with your hungry and tired children than with other adults.

mostlyfitmom said...

I'm feeling pretty antisocial lately. I'm going to blame it on the stress of dental school, which just started up last week. I just want to hang with my family and hit the hay early pretty much every night. Small talk is excruciating and just takes too much effort when I've got a million to-dos going through my mind.

You're not alone :)

jayna said...

After that sort of a schedule, you deserve at least a month of guilt-free, bra-less anti-social, homebody lounging.

I'm 98% antisocial. I'd sincerely prefer to be home and far away from all other people. That 2% where I force myself out and actually have to make conversation can tide me over for months at a time. So, I would definitely be one of the ones agreeing that it can totally be fine to be anti-social!

Michelle said...

I totally understand how you feel, and I don't have baseball/football to attend! I have to force myself to make more of an effort with my friends, because on most days I would just prefer to be in pj's upon returning to home.

Jessica said...

This is absolutely me. I am always the one to volunteer to stay home and am secretly relieved every time someone doesn't want to go somewhere. Sometimes I worry that I am passing my antisocial behavior on to the kids but it is so hard to break out of my comfort zone.
Glad to hear it is not just me.

Dana said...

I'm so glad I was able to find your blog. you are fantastic!

Hopes@Staying Afloat! said...

Nope! You're definitely not alone. I find myself avoiding going to the boys soccer practices this fall for the exact same reason. But I need to get better about being more social.

Found you from your BFF post over at Shell's place!! LOVED IT!

Charlene said...

Totally understand. There was a whole year after I graduated from law school where I didn't do anything after work. Four years of a full course load, a full time job and a part time job. I finally recovered but there are times where things get super busy ( like you had for the summer ) & I have twitches again. Enjoy your freely hanging boobies & reality TV. There is something to be said for summer being over.

Jen C. said...

Amen! Well, except for the bra part.. I keep mine on because of the poor placement of them after nursing two boys...
ANYHOO..you don't have to be ONE THING all the time; things change as you go through the weeks/months/years, and I've decided I need to focus inward more- inward meaning my family, house, myself.. so sometimes that will mean what makes me happy is being out and about.. sometimes it will mean I'd rather not even talk to the other people at the bus stop; just need that moment for ME.. what makes ME happy needs to be as much a priority as what makes others feel comfortable, and that's overrated! I need to think sometimes and not engage in the conversations around me..
You sound pretty darned normal to me!! But then again, I've already decided that the rest of the world may be normal, and I'm the crazy one, and yet, I'm STILL okay with it! :)

Adrienne said...

Oh! I hate my bra! I swear it comes off as soon as I walk in the door! I don't wear one to hold the girls in, I wear one to create the illusion I actually have breasts! I can't stand it! LOL

Great post over at Shell's place!

Jill said...

Congrats on your BFF! Nothing wrong with being a homegirl.

Kristin @ What She Said said...

Definitely NOT the only one. We share the same daily post-work goals: 1.) Remove bra, and 2.) No socializing. I would even go so far as to say that sometimes I don't even want to socialize at all - not even with my husband and daughter. I just don't want to talk. Period.

And sometimes small talk is painful for me. Other times? Not so much - I cam be very sociable. But at the end of the day, I'm an introvert. I draw my strength from within and need quiet time to recharge my batteries. And I like it that way.

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