Also, at bigger events, like blog conferences, being part of a blog network ensures that there will be familiar faces in attendance. It's kinda like having a security blanket. A squeeing, hugging, security blanket.
We Boston bloggers are a fun group of gals (if I do say so myself)! These are gals whom I've created friendships with. Gals I feel comfortable asking questions, favors and for help. Gals I've shared meals, drinks and laughs with.
However, when you are part of a blogging network, there's always that underlying nuance:
I don't care what you say, it can't be denied.
Who knows who, who got invited to what, why didn't I get invited, you get to go WHERE?!!
You know you've heard this before.
I certainly have.
And? I'm NOT A FAN.
Here's where I stand: I LOVE the fact that there are other women out there who "get" my blogging
Blogging is not my career.
Therefore, when I get invited to fun events, I am genuinely honored to be asked. I go to the events that work for me and my schedule - events I am interested in, featuring products that I would actually use or recommend. I go to a few here and there, and turn down more than I attend.
What I find strange is that talking about event attendance is very hush-hush. No one discusses where they are going and what they are going to be doing.
It's akin to discussions about salary. A forbidden topic.
So I think it's weird to be in this network, with friends of mine, and to not be able to talk about it.
"Hey, are you going to the [product] event on Thursday? Me too! See you there!"
"Did you get invited to [brand] launch next week? Wanna ride in together?
Nope. None of that dialogue is going on. We all just show up, and then at first there's that awkward, "Heyyyy, I didn't know you were gonna be here too!" moment.
BECAUSE NO ONE FRIGGING TALKS ABOUT IT.
And I guess I don't want to be misconstrued by taking the plunge and being the first to ask. Bottom line - I think that's probably what we're all afraid of. That we will come across as "rubbing it in". Ha ha, I got invited and yooooouuuu didn't.
When it's totally NOT like that at all. (At least I hope not.)
I love it when bloggers get amazing opportunities. I am genuinely happy for them - truly! I don't ever begrudge them of their success, their hard work, their effort. And I would hope the feeling is mutual. This blogosphere is a big, big, huDge pond. With plenty of room for all of us. The better you do as a blogger, the more oppportunities it opens for me. WINNING.
[Sidebar confession: I honestly do get mad at the non-invites to the TJMaxx/Marshall's events that pop up around here though. Jeez, I'm DYING to get in with them, as I'm probably one of their BIGGEST shoppers. So yes, I admit to being bitter about that. And now, with that being said, I shall probably never EVER get an invite. The End.]
Anyway, I would not care AT ALL if someone asked me if I were going to an event to which I wasn't invited. This business is so fickle and so random - who the hell knows how I get invited to some things and not others??? I sure don't.
And, as a member of a blog network, I think we all like to saaaayyyy that we are supportive of each other. And inclusive. And encouraging. But yet. There is still that damn unspoken competitive aspect. Hence, none of us seem to dare ask who's going to what. And conversely, none of us voluntarily put it out there.
Basically, what I do now when I accept an event invitation is ask for a blogger guest list. So I know ahead of time who is going. Without putting myself out there and then worrying if I'm being perceived as a show-off. And then, if I feel comfortable enough with a fellow blogger, I can message them and say, "Heard you were attending [so-and-so event]. Me too! Looking forward to seeing you there!"
Does anyone else find this unspoken sense of competition similar (and annoying)? Is there a solution? Or is the Event Guest List doomed to remain a mystery? Much like your salary. And mine.
(I know there are other statewide blog networks, like Momz Share in DC. And all you New York City area bloggers. Would love it if you would weigh in on this!)