Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Dropkicks and Diarrhea

Catchy title, no?

It all started on Thursday night.  I wanted to celebrate St. Patty's Day with a few beers after work.  Especially because the weather here was so gorgeous.  So I sat outside and watched the boyz play ball with Hubby and drank my beer.  But that first beer just didn't seem to settle well.  I was done drinking.

For dinner that night, I could only stomach a scoopful of rice.  And then a fudgesicle later on.

Friday morning, I met with Trainer Sarah, who wasn't all that thrilled to hear that I had barely eaten dinner the night before and made me promise to go straight home and eat breakfast.

But I couldn't.  Something was *off*  (understatement of the year, right there).  I felt queasy and was having random stomach pains.  But forge on, I did. 

At work on Friday, I tried a yogurt just before lunch.  Fine.

And then I attempted a half sandwich at about 2pm. 

It all went downhill from there.  The stomach pains got worse.  And then the fury was unleashed.  (Thank God my work had a plethora of bathrooms to damage.)  It was all I could do to crawl to my car and drive myself home without having an Unfortunate Accident.

Once home, I was pretty much back and forth from the bed to the toilet for the next 11 hours (4pm to 3am).  On top of that, I started running a fever that hovered around 101.  Lemme just be the first to say, I was one hawt mess.

And for the record?  Pepto is NO MATCH for the stomach bug. Not even close. 

Yet Saturday dawned anew.  I was weak, yet determined.
AS GOD WAS MY WITNESS, I needed to scrub down my Trenches!  I needed to protect my family from getting this horrendous bug!  I needed to save them from going through what I had just gone through! 

So I spent the entire morning cleaning.  Not daring to eat a morsel.  A nice thin film of sweat covering my weakened body.

When Hubby got home from baseball, he reminded me that I had a decision to make, for we had Dropkick Murphys concert tickets for that night.  Tickets I had gotten for him for Christmas. 

I decided that I would rally and go.  Mind over matter, right??

So I got myself all prettied up and we headed to dinner and the show with our friends.
Once we got to the venue, I knew it wasn't gonna be good.  The ole belly started gurgling and I was instantly in a mad rush to the bathroom.

(By the way?  I'm totally doing a separate post on How You Know You're Too Old For Concerts.  I have LOTS to say about the attire and behavior of KIDS THESE DAYS *shaking my cane in the air*)

Anyway, the show was good!  (What I saw of it.)  (Thankfully the music was piped into the bathroom.)
I should TOTALLY be an event photographer.

After the show, which was wayyyy past my bedtime anyway (again, Too Old For Concerts), we got stuck in the parking garage for about a half hour.  FML.  I started to panic a little bit at this point, wondering what in the heck I would do if, you know...I accidentally "relaxed". 

But then once we were on the road, it was just a matter of focusing on getting us home.

Which I did.  Sorta.  I literally had to leave the car running in the driveway to hop out and race inside while crying and Lamaze-breathing.  Sweet.

Saturday was another loooooong night.

And then on Sunday, I was SCARED to eat.  No way in hell did I want those pains to come back.

I had 2 bottles of water and half a Powerade that day. 

So yesterday, needless to say, I was home from work.  Trying to work up the nerve to eat.

I had relative success with a mini bagel, a half a sandwich, and plain pasta.  Not without feeling queasy, but let's just say everything stayed "down" and "in".

Can I just say, I haven't felt that bad probably since I had double mastitis with Baby???

And for all the times I breezily joked ha ha ha about how "it would be nice to just catch a stomach bug or something" to "jumpstart my weight loss"?  Well, I TAKE IT BACK.

(Okay, well, sorta.  The weight loss does feel kinda fastastic.)

Fingers crossed this isn't me today.


Dorene said...

My husband and kids had this. It lasted almost 2 weeks before everyone got over it completely. Oh, and the kids still had it while we were at Disney World. I said a little prayer before we got into each line for a ride. I could probably tell you the best bathrooms to visit at each park.

Unknown said...

Glad you are feeling better! Only you can make the stomach bug entertaining!

Life As I Know It said...

Wait. Stop. Were you at the House of Blues this weekend??

Hillary (Mrs. Einstein) said...

My kids all had this a few weeks ago. Not fun. I am SO SORRY you had to go through this; BUT, you also had me laughing. Thanks for that; I needed it. :)

amanda said...

oh friend. there are no words. it's just plain awful. been there done that. ugh.

hoping today is so so so much better.

Jennifer said...

I had something like this a few months ago. It was horrible. Unfortunately I had it shooting out of both ends.

And then since I've been eating healthier I can apparently not eat a hamburger outside of my house. Period. I was on a road trip last weekend when I had to pull over for an emergency bathroom trip and then find a pharmacy to medicate myself so I could keep driving.

Anonymous said...

Hubby had this fever and really queasy stomach I am expecting stil very early only about 11 weeks but a great deal of morning sickness. And we have one bathroom! That was an AWESOME few days. Now however the bathroom is all mine

Rebecca said...

omg...you poor thing! the parking garage would have freaked me out big time!!!!

hope you're all better and this can become a distant memory really soon!

Maureen said...

Hope you are feeling better. You were the rock star for going to that concert. I don't know how you did it.

Anonymous said...

My teens, when they don't feel good, just want to opt out of going to school or practice. I tell them they'll feel differently when there's a paycheck involved - then you trudge on, go to work, feel awful - but you do it anyway 'cause you have to.

I remember everyone having a violent retching virus (every 15 minutes for hours) - the dr prescribed Phenergan gel (rub it into your wrist)- which was totally amazingly awesome!

Hope you're feeling better and can't wait to read about being too old for concerts!I started giving concert tickets to the teens as Christmas presents the last two years. Excellent gift idea!

Serenityville said...

Best line "shaking your cane". Bah!!


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