Friday, October 22, 2010

Sabotaging Myself

I eat well and stay hydrated all day in anticipation of a 5-mile run at 7pm with my running pal, Kristy.

We do the run, and it's a good one.

I then come home and eat a huDge bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream.

*****
I go and (sort of) do a Bosu class at the ass crack of dawn.

I then proceed to eat a decent breakfast (oatmeal), a semi-okay lunch (turkey on flatbread and a mini cup of pasta salad), and then at 3:00, decide to "reward" myself with a bag of assorted bulk candy (whoppers, sour patch kids, CHOCOLATE COVERED GUMMY BEARS) that immediately makes me feel nauseous afterwards.

*****
Kristy and I meet at 4:45am to go running.  We are both still sore from the frickin' Bosu.  My legs feel like I'm sludging through a swamp.  I want to stop.  She suggests we just run for 20 minutes.  I stop at 19 minutes to walk.

Because we didn't run our usual 4-5 miles, I get back to the house early.  Instead of riding the bike for at least 20 minutes to make up for my wussy-ness, I crawl back into bed. 

*****
I do stuff like this to myself ALL THE TIME. 

Never being consistent.

Always letting myself down.

Self-sabotage.

Why??

(And please tell me I'm not the only one!)

11 comments:

Stephanie said...

OMG, Sarah, you are so not the only one. I have been having this same battle with myself lately and am so just bummed out at the cycle. For example, I had oatmeal for breakfast this morning and had a whole deliciously healthy day planned out. Then I see a half eaten bag of chex mix in my desk drawer? GONE! Holy UGH batman. Especially since I'm soon to be on a beach vacation with my MIL who at 70 is STILL a freakin' size 4 and fashionable as hell.

Blah - sorry for the novel but you are so NOT alone. Hang tough girl! I will be thinking of you...especially as I trudge to the gym to try and work off the chex mix.

Ashley said...

I do this all the time! I always feel like I somehow earned a pig out session because I work out so hard. Bullshit I know. And I call myself on it all the time but it doesn't seem to do any good.

Maybe we need a support blog.

Carrie said...

Hey you are still getting up and exercising! My problem is the "I'll start up again on Monday" every week its the same thing. I was good most of the summer but once school started up I can't get back into the routine. It should be easier but it's not!

Kim - Mommycosm said...

Totally not the only one. The only thing that needs to change is your perception.

No one should feel bad or guilty after running for 19 minutes. Just saying. Celebrate what you DID do and stop beating yourself up, lady. Let go of the guilt.

trifitmom said...

i do the food sabatoge all the time. i use to do the exercise but finally somewhere - maybe after i trained for my first sprint tri, i am addicted to exercise, i can't miss it. i mean right now not training for something i might not go as hard and as much but if i go without 2 days of exercise i can feel my whole mood change. however i am a sahm and i made going to the gym a priority even though i would feel so guilty while on the treadmill b/c they were in the sitting room. i had to let go of the guilt factor and make it a priority. i honestly give you credit for trying while working b/c i am not sure i could commit - as the timing seems so hard. good luck, don't think of it as giving up, it is just a day of not going as hard - you can get up and go hard the next day.

Classy Fab Sarah said...

I do this constantly - and unfortunately I'm not at all consistent at working out. Ugh.

Wish I had an answer to the problem!

Dorothy said...

Strive for a weekly treat instead of a daily one. Or, if that is too much, how about every other day and cut back from there. Or limit your treat to a small treat. The less you get, the less you will crave it. At least, that is how it works for me. Good Luck.

amelie522 said...

YOU ARE A NORMAL WOMAND AND MOM! It's just part of being a mother, really. And a woman. We ALWAYS treat others to the sweet things in life, and sometimes we need to remember it's okay to indulge in our sweet leanings every once in while. You're working your ass off so those little "cheats" (though I despise calling them that) aren't as bad as you think they are. Don't be so hard on yourself!

Draft Queen said...

I do this All The Time.

Terrible. I can't make it stop.

Maureen said...

I wish I never did it. But I do it. Daily.

Rachael said...

Me too. It sucks.

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