All 5 of us were in the car, driving home from Eldest's football game on Saturday. From the 3rd row, Baby piped up excitedly.
"Dad! Dad! There's something I forgot to tell you!"
Hubby: "Yeah? What's that?"
"Ummmm, Middle said 'Fudge'".
(Only Baby didn't say Fudge. He said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the F-dash-dash-dash word.)
Hubby literally almost veered the car off the road at that moment.
Hearing Baby's squeaky little 5-year old voice say THAT word.
Meanwhile, Eldest sat stonefaced and Middle (the perp) just looked at us blankly.
Hubby: "Middle! Did you say that? WHERE did you hear that word?"
As soon as that second question fell out of Hubby's mouth, I involuntarily cringed. Did we REALLY want to know where (or better yet, from whom) he heard it?
Middle continued to look dumbfounded, while Eldest still sat there stoically and Baby just looked smug.
"What? That's not a bad word." Middle replied.
From Hubby: "Hello? That is the WORST word. That is a big swear, Middle! That's the F word!"
Middle: "You mean the F word isn't fart?"
I kid you not.
"No! So don't ever say it again! Where did you hear it?"
"In a song. On my iPod."
Hubby turned to glare at me while I slowly slunk down in my seat a lil' bit.
In my defense, we only have one stinkin' iPod shuffle for our entire household.
(Because I accidentally put the other one in the wash.)
So, yes, the kids use it. But I also use it for running.
So there may be a song or two on there that is fast, upbeat, and possibly inappropriate.
(I'm thinking it was that Violent Femmes song. You know the one.)
(I erroneously figured they would just skip any songs they weren't familiar with.)
(Time to censor the iPod music. Apparently.)
What's curious to me about this story is that Baby knew enough to tell on Middle, Eldest kept his mouth shut the entire time (so as to possibly not incriminate himself?) and Middle (who has perfected the art of the blank stare) seemingly didn't really know that it was a bad word.
Anyway, as I was retelling this story to a friend, she looked at me incredulously and responded, "C'mon! Your boys are totally playing you. OF COURSE they know the F word!"
Except, you see, I'm not really sure they do. Honestly.
The "F word" really is fart in our house. And the "S word" is stupid.
They think if someone sticks up their middle finger, that it means "jerk".
The words "shut up" and "Oh my God" are NOT allowed in our Trenches.
I'd like to keep them innocent for as long as possible.
But they do ride the school bus.
They do play sports.
They do hear adults talking.
But I think they really didn't know that f*ck was a swear word.
How do you handle swears in your Trenches? Do your children know the F-dash-dash-dash word?