Tuesday, September 28, 2010

You Know You're Dieting When...

1.  You see a broken Dorito on the floor at work and actually consider picking it up to eat it.

2.  The thought of taking another gulp of water from your Nalgene bottle makes you gag.

3.  A few sips of beer or wine now give you a buzz because you haven't been able to properly carbo-load beforehand.

4.  Your jaw hurts from chewing so much gum.

5.  Instead of wiping the ice cream off your child's face, you kinda get the urge to just lick it off.

6.  You bark at your children to clear their plates and then RINSE them in the sink, lest you feel the urge to pick at their leftovers.  Thankfully, soggy food is inedible to you (at this point in your diet, anyway).

7.  You only step on the scale completely naked.  Which even includes removal of watch, wedding ring and hair elastic.

8.  As you are in line buying your raw veggies for the week, you see the woman ahead of you buying cans of Spam and actually ponder what it tastes like.  A nice Easter ham?  And then you proceed to fantasize about Easter dinner...Thanksgiving dinner...Christmas dinner...

9.  You now go to bed at 8pm just to end your day and to prevent yourself from being tempted with late-night goodies from the kitchen.

10.  You poop lettuce.

Got any more of your own to add?

8 comments:

MamaB said...

When your willing to accept a dinner invitiation at a co-worker's home that you just can't stand because she will be serving lasagna, cheesy garlic bread and caeser salad!!

I'm right there with you! I started my "lifestyle" change in May and have lost 28 pounds so far with another 20-25 to go. Hang in there and remember nothing tastes as good as skinny feels...well maybe a Mai Tai.

Pollyanna said...

You feel the need to rationalize every imperfect morsel you put in your mouth. Like ordering of kids meal at McDonalds because it's a smaller portion than a regular meal; therefore, you haven't really fallen off the diet wagon.

Or, the cookie broke so the calories fell out.

Or the M&M's were melting. Seriously, what are you supposed to do? Let them???

Rebecca said...

#4 and #10 are awesome!!!! Good luck!

Serenityville said...

LOL - ewe!!!

Venassa said...

Dieting sounds very painful.
Good luck though!

Amy J - Book Addict said...

LMAO!!! These are good!

Mary said...

#10 had me crying, I was laughing so hard!

MollyinMinn said...

Not only do you step on the scale naked, you try it again after going to the bathroom.

This was so good and reminded me that while I hate dieting, I really need to get back to it. Cause you know, it's fun like you said.

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