Tuesday, September 28, 2010
You Know You're Dieting When...
2. The thought of taking another gulp of water from your Nalgene bottle makes you gag.
3. A few sips of beer or wine now give you a buzz because you haven't been able to properly carbo-load beforehand.
4. Your jaw hurts from chewing so much gum.
5. Instead of wiping the ice cream off your child's face, you kinda get the urge to just lick it off.
6. You bark at your children to clear their plates and then RINSE them in the sink, lest you feel the urge to pick at their leftovers. Thankfully, soggy food is inedible to you (at this point in your diet, anyway).
7. You only step on the scale completely naked. Which even includes removal of watch, wedding ring and hair elastic.
8. As you are in line buying your raw veggies for the week, you see the woman ahead of you buying cans of Spam and actually ponder what it tastes like. A nice Easter ham? And then you proceed to fantasize about Easter dinner...Thanksgiving dinner...Christmas dinner...
9. You now go to bed at 8pm just to end your day and to prevent yourself from being tempted with late-night goodies from the kitchen.
10. You poop lettuce.
Got any more of your own to add?