Friday, November 06, 2009

On Husbands, Wives and Hairstyles

As I was sitting eating dinner last night, Hubby looked over at me and said, "Can I ask you a question?"

Whenever he asks me this, my guard immediately goes up.  Because what usually follows is him asking me why I do something that he doesn't agree with.  Every.  Time.

I hate that question.  (He knows this.) And besides, it doesn't even make sense.  By throwing that out there, you are ALREADY ASKING A QUESTION IN THE ASKING OF IT.  Grrrr...

Anyway.

I responded snottily, "What?!"

"I was just wondering why your hair keeps getting darker.  That's all."

See, I had gotten my hair colored the night before. My friend Michelle (check her out!) had come over to wash those grays right outta my hair (it sounds better when you say it in a sing-songy voice...)  No haircut was needed though, because can you believe I'm still in the process of correcting my mushroom head (with faux bangs) from JULY?!

So I explained, "I'm going darker because it's winter."  Duh.

Him, incredulous:  "You mean you color your hair based on the season?"

Me:  "Well, in the winter months, my skin gets way paler.  I can't all of a sudden have light-streaked hair without a tan." 

And then he just walked away, shaking his head and muttering to himself, much like Ralphie's old man in A Christmas Story.

But I know why he was asking.  My husband?  Likes my hair long and light-colored.  And right now, it's short(ish) and dark(er).

Do I care?

Here's the thing:  As much as I try not to...(it's my head, it's my hair, it's MY appearance, it's MY CHOICE I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR)...I kinda do.

And so, once those grays start reappearing, I will probably choose a lighter shade, as well as continue to grow out the clusterf*ck of the bad haircut. 

How about you?  Does your husband voice his opinion about your hair color/style?  And do you take his assvice advice?

24 comments:

trifitmom said...

i could go blonde and i am not quite sure my husband would even notice....i say power to your hubby for taking notice !!!

midwest princess said...

i have kept my hair long since our wedding because my husband was complaining about how every woman cuts her hair after she gets married. he likes my hair long, surprise surprise! it gets rather stringy this way but i agree with you - his opinion does matter to me a wee bit. :)

Sincerely, Jenni said...

My husband can pretty tell to the day when it's time for me to get my hair cut. He will mention it on a daily basis until I manage to find the time to go get it cut.

I'm not bitter or anything. REALLY.

Lolli said...

All I am going to say about this one is that when I colored my hair blonder a few years ago, I ended up pregnant with my 5th. A few weeks ago, I colored my hair "warmer" (kind of giving it a honey tone, but not any lighter) and he didn't say a thing. Most of the time, he doesn't care.

HaB said...

My husband could care less....I was a bleach blonde when we got together - and now, I am 100% back to my natural color - which is a kind of like milk chocolate brown. Two totally different ends of the spectrum. His take on things is as long as I am happy with my hair, then he's happy, cause I am happy.

Kimi said...

My husband likes it long and dark, which is lucky for me because long means I don't have to style it...pretty much at all. And dark is my naturalish color.

Michelle said...

I change my hair all the time, but when we met, I had waist-length dark brown hair with like 399 different color streaks in it. I just don't have time to maintain that sort of style anymore, but he definitely misses it.

Although it is MY hair and I'll do what I want with it regardless, I take his opinion into account for sure. After all, he has to look at it more than I do...

Manic Mommy said...

I few cuts ago, my stylist went a little shorter than I thought she would. I trust her and it looked good but I was concerned about Andy's reaction. I actually called him on the way home to "warn" him.

I agree; it's my hair, my head but he's got to look at it.

Why guy doesn't like women with longer hair (and probably lighter)?

Heather@PixieDust said...

maybe we should switch. My hair is long (like 2 feet long) and highlighted and my hubby likes it shorter and darker.

Jenni said...

Sure, it's my hair; but he married me and I want to stay attractive to him and if it means long and dark, then that's what it will be.

It's a little thing to take into consideration for the one we love and adore; but it's worth it.

Would he complain if I cut it short? Yeah, probably, but he wouldn't stop me from doing it. However, my gift to him is keeping it the way he likes it.

In a relationship, we are supposed to think about what would please the OTHER person; it's the same reason my husband doesn't shave his head bald even though he would LOVE to.

beenomom said...

Oh my God Sarah!! Have your husband and mine been in kahoots??

Just ask Michelle what happened here at my house the night she chopped my hair! He pitched such a fit you would have thought he was 3 years old! I was mortified.

He keeps telling me that when he met me I had such gorgeous, long, dark brown hair and how he prefers it that way.

Dude: I am not 21 years old anymore and my hair has changed since I had kids.

Never the less, as much as I try to convince myself that it is my hair and I can do what I want, (I prefer pretty short hair actually,) I was just thinking this same thing the other day and will probably be growing it out AGAIN!!!

I feel your pain sista!

Live.Love.Eat said...

My hubs is a metrosexual and has really good taste so I actually do listen to his opinion on things of that nature. After all, he brings home shoes for me and not once have I disliked them.

Thanks so much for sharing in my SITS day last week. I am still playing catch up!!!!!!!

Kristin said...

It is so much fun to change hair color a bit with the seasons! I'm not quite ready for my fall hair yet though...still feeling the super blonde thing!!

Chicky Chicky Baby said...

I get the hairy eyeball (heh, see what i just did there? Hairy? Get it? I kill me.) when I go to dark or too short too. But I really get it when the stylist's bill is really expensive and I'm all "Um, honey, the credit card bill is going to be a little higher than usual this month... but doesn't my hair look FABULOUS?)

But then I show him my boobs and everything's okay. :)

countryfriedmama said...

My husband refuses to utter any opinion about my hair, clothes, or weight. He says he is too smart for that. I think he is too scared.

Judy said...

I don't color. My grandmother has the most beautiful head of silver EVER, and I'm banking on the same. No color on these tresses.

As for style, my hair has been in a ponytail since May, thanks to Schlitter-season. I desperately need a haircut, but the dern pony-barrette is soooooo convenient...

and why is my word verification thingy "fibrous"????

Maureen said...

I think he cares... I think he notices, but you know, I can't be sure. Sometimes when my hair needs to be done he asks if I just had it cut. Then other times he hardly notices. So to answer your question, no, I don't care what he thinks because he doesn't think... well, he doesn't think about my hair.

Cheri said...

My husband very much has preferences for my hair, and I am more than happy to accommodate him. The whole "my body is his and his is mine" thing. I LOVE to see "that" look of his at the sight of me, and the one and only time I chopped it off, I spent months NOT seeing those eyes. He hates short/butch hair cuts, and has joked he would consider it a message for divorce if I ever chop it again.

He's not serious, but trying to share with me in a humorous way how much he loves my hair. Now, he also brushes it, plays with it and genuinely loves my hair, and it does not have to be long. Just long enough.

But he does love change, so going from dark brown to blonde thrills him, and then vice versa. The only color he doesn't like is pure red, so I do avoid that. Sometimes get red highlights/low lights, but in general, I make sure he loves my hair.

And he keeps his hair/body in the ways I prefer. (Shaving on weekends, short hair cuts, etc.)

It is a very loving give and take. I don't think it's fair to change the very thing that drew him in in the first place, which I'm sure varies by the husband. If keeping my hair the way he likes it can make him THAT happy, then it is one of the easiest things I can do for him! I'm glad he cares enough to have an opinion!

Style 411 said...

Well I have to say that my hair changes sometimes weekly!!! But my husband says as long as I am happy he is happy! I actually ask him for his opinion a lot of the time because after all I do want my husband to like looking at me....but he insists that I should do what ever makes me happy...this is probably because He knew when he met me, what he was getting into! Also being a stylist, I have dealt with many irate husbands, boyfriends,etc....usually the client just blames the stylist if there significant other doesn't like there hair...bottom line is if you feel good about how you look,then you will radiate beauty, but if you do something for someone else and you dont like it,it shows.
Maybe ask your man to pick out a picture of something he would like and see if you can come to a compromise ;)

gaelikaa said...

Me? I'm modern, independent and liberated. And erm....if he expresses a preference about my appearance, I generally go with it (looks down in embarrassment).

Terrible, isn't it?

gaelikaasdiary.blogspot.com

FranticMommy said...

I think you husband cares, but like most guys he has the tact of a hedge trimmer!

Fishbowl said...

Well I'm smarter than all of ya and have managed to remain husband-less. That being said, when in relationships I do tend to lean toward my guy's preferences (inevitably long, even if I'll end up looking like a 70's throwback). But the difference is I know he won't be around forever, and then I can grow my hair how I want.
Thanks for the blog idea though....

Annie Duncan said...

my husband HATES it when I dye my hair darker. I'm a natural blonde, but I went dark for the 2nd time since we've been together. Now every time I go to get it redone he asks if I'm dying it back to blonde yet. In fact, this very topic was the subject of my 1st ever blog post about a year ago :)
http://rationalmindofacrazywoman.blogspot.com/2008/10/secret-to-happy-marriage-revenge.html

Keri Hat said...

I haven't dyed my hair in over a year. Last time I went with a darker shade and while he didn't tell me he did not like it, he told me that he thought my natural color was pretty. I can't argue or be upset at him for that. I am getting a few grays showing and have thought about coloring again. I see women with beautiful silver hair and would be OK with mine that color, but it is that in between stage that bothers me. My guy definitely notices my hair. He has been my at home stylist since shortly after we met. Yes, I trust him to cut my hair and he gives me a great haircut. Better than I ever got in the salon, and the trims he gives me every three months have saved me hundreds of dollars as well as the hassle of going to the salon and the anguish of a bad haircut from a stylist that doesn't listen to what I ask for.

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