Monday, September 07, 2009

A Small Glimpse Into My Life

(Alternately titled: Why Sarah Enjoys Her Box of Merlot)

The Scene:

Today, late morning.  Sarah is sitting outside in a lawn chair, attempting to catch some end-of-summer rays while reading the paper.  Please let it be noted that she's trying to read YESTERDAY'S paper.
Her Hubby and Baby son are riding on the John Deere mower, making diagonal stripes in the verdant lawn.
Sarah's other two sons, Eldest and Middle are off to her right, meandering about in the driveway and running their mouths:

"I'm not gonna play football with you anymore EVER!"
"I don't care, cuz I'm not ever giving you Pokemon cards."
"I don't care, because if you do that, then you won't get any of my Bakugans."
"Well, so what!  My Pokemans are better anyway.  I have way more."
"Well, I'm gonna tell Mom on you."
"So what.  I didn't even do anything."
"Don't think I'm not telling cuz I AM."
"Whatever. You are a big dummy anyway."
"No I'm not, you are!"
"Nuh  uh."
"Uh huh."
"Well so what cuz I can throw the ball better, so there."
"No way."
"Don't touch me!"
"I didn't touch you, the ball did."
"You threw it at me on purpose!"
"Did not."
"Did too."
"Quit talking to me." 
"I'm not talking to you.  I can talk.  I'm allowed."
"I said be quiet."
"You're not the boss of me.  Mommy and Daddy are."
"It's my turn!"
"No it's not. I already said I'm not playing anyway."
"Well then that means you're stupid."
That's it.  I'm telling."
"I'm telling on you too then."

(Please note that no artistic liberty was taken by Sarah in the retelling of this particular dialogue.  It's pretty much word-for-word.)

So yes, sitting outside in the sun on a Monday holiday is just soooo relaxing.  About as relaxing as sliding down a pole made of razors. 

Sarah highly recommends it. *snort*


jules said...

yep, sounds ever so familiar.

A's Mom said...

Oh so relaxing. Can't wait until my two can talk like that.

Anonymous said...

Lol! I like your 'alternate title'! ;)

Vodka Logic said...

I say next time you mow the lawn the motor will drown out the kids. Put on your ipod and glide around the yard :)


Lynette3boys said...

Oh my - that was funny girl! Sliding down a pole made of razors - good one! Your holiday sounds as pleasant as mine. I just blogged about.

Rita Templeton said...

Eeep. For now, all I have to deal with is four-year-old chatter and baby babble. I can't WAIT until they can actually argue. *sigh*

Jenni said...

Ahh....the life of a mom. So VERY glamorous...

A Fist Full of Dandelions said...

Oh joy! I have so much to look forward to...NOT!

Becky said...

You know my boys?!?!?! had me fooled for a minute you were talking about MY kids/yard/madly entertaining life:)

LOL~at least you were sitting in the sun:)

Jen said...

the same thing happens over here but there are less words and more screaming. *sigh* Bring on the wine.

Judy said...

Hey, that's actually pretty good. Mine wouldn't get past the first sentence before the four year old would haul off and hit the 10 year old, igniting the drama-God status the 10 year old is famous for...

Heather of the EO said...

That sounds so very peaceful. ;)

Michelle said...

This CRACKED me up Sarah! Mostly because that so reminds me of conversations my sister and I had daily. Our poor mother.

Putting the FUN in DysFUNctional said...

Fighting kids make me CRAZY. And I have four of them.
My kids all know that Mommy & Daddy are the boss of them, but Mommy is the boss of Daddy. Heh.

Missives From Suburbia said...

I was just saying tonight how lovely it is that one of our kids does not speak yet and cannot be a turd. I know my time is limited, but I'm enjoying it while it lasts. You have my sympathies.


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