Sunday, August 02, 2009

Tampon Shopping

We're back! Yesterday consisted of laundry, unpacking, laundry, attempting to feed the boyz with the meager contents of our cupboards and fridge, laundry, yawning, and laundry. (With some de-toxing thrown in there for good measure.)

Today should be much more relaxed, as I'm JUST ABOUT DONE WITH THE DAMN LAUNDRY.

Ahem.

So first thing this morning, Hubby ventured out to the store, as I don't think it would be legal to continue to feed my children nothing but hot dogs, stale bagels and sour(ish) milk, as I did yesterday.

Don't judge. There was laundry to be done.

Anyway, on the list I provided for him, was The Item Dreaded By Every Man ("TIDBEM" for short)...

Tampons.

I knew this would cause him some consternation, so I made sure I was specific - Tampax Super Tampons.

Easy enough, right?

About 20 minutes after he left, the phone rang.

Just as I suspected, TIDBEM Trouble.

"Hey, I'm standing in the aisle here. Didja want super long?"

Which immediately caused me to ponder when they started making tampons in LENGTH sizes. Kinda weird.

"Yeah, they have that kind or Always brand."

And then I realized he was looking at MAXI-PADS, not tampons.

So with a little guidance from me, as I STAYED ON THE PHONE and talked him down the aisle to the proper product, he managed to find that elusive blue and green box of tampons. But just as I was getting ready to hang up the phone, I heard,

"Wait! So didja want 40 or 58?"

JUST BUY ME A DARN BOX OF TAMPONS, DUDE.

Gah.

118 comments:

Courtney Kirkland said...

this definately sounds like something my husband would do! men...they make everything into a crisis. lol

Ashley said...

I love it!

I asked my husband to get me a box last month and our store only has 4 different boxes and he knows the brand I want. So I thought I was safe without going into further detail. Except he brought me home the Sport version in Regular. Do I look like the sporty teen on the box with minimal flow? Don't think so. Common sense mister.

Michelle said...

Love this post! My husband is surprisingly adept at picking out tampons. Maybe it's because I make him write it down? :)

Candi said...

Wow - I can't believe all the hubbys that would actually buy the darn things. The one time I sent mine to the store with those on the list, he came home and said "I forgot." Men!

Mrs. Schmitty said...

I think my hubby is one of the few men in the world that has absolutely no problem buying feminine hygiene products. He'll even buy them alone! Without a zillion other things to camouflage it!

Manic Mommy said...

He's done it. Doesn't like to but given the proper list and GPS directions within the store, he can manage.

Cha Cha said...

"JUST BUY ME A DAMN BOX OF TAMPONS, DUDE."

Best blog quote EVER! Made me cackle in a most unladylike way ...

karen said...

That Aisle fills them with dread from boyhood. My first son commented dolefully once that none of the boxes had toys to choose from (we'd just decided between a book and a toy car in the cereal aisle...) and the other, on a separate occasion, noted that he felt like those boxes were staring at him. He actually shuddered with the comment, as if trying to shake off cursed gazes.

Patois said...

Hilarious. I don't have that problem with mine. He's been sent far too many times to buy. It's a science now.

~Bobbi~ said...

Was that my husband or yours? haha

~Bobbi~ said...

Happy SITS day!

La Belle Mere UK said...

Brilliant! Super LONG???!!! Waaah!!

Happy SITS day.

B x

mub said...

My husband doesn't mind buying them for me, but he usually calls about 17 times to make sure he's picked the right thing *L*

Heath said...

HAHA! I gave up YEARS ago when his "cost saving" would come into play and he would never get the exact brand when the same "kind" was cheaper in the off brand. *shakes head*

Becky said...

Classic! I don't think my hubby would buy them at all.. hehe.

Vodka Logic said...

My husband did ok last time I asked of course he had my 14 yo daughter who has a clue.

Helped a man in "that" aisle just the other day.. boy did he look grateful. As you did his wife had written brand and size etc for him.

They do try..gotta love em.
xx

Sandra Winn said...

LOLOL...you have a wonderful hubby! My DH has made the trip down that aisle for me before too on a couple of occasions. Thankfully, neither of our DHs suffered a horrible register experience. You know, "We need a price check on Tampax", announced by the cashier over the loud speaker. :-)

Have a SITStastic day! I love your blog. :-)

~ Sandy

Tania @ Larger Family Life said...

Lol! That was funny!

Queenie Jeannie said...

I send mine out with an empty box - men need visuals!!

Robin said...

So.....
You did take the box of 58....right?

......LOL.....

Creative Junkie said...

This one cracked me up! I would have had to draw my husband a map, give him some photographs and set the coordinates on his GPS and then, he would have called me from the store and asked "now, what did you want me to buy again?"

knit1kids4 said...

Oh yes... that would be my dh too. Details. But I'd be so happy he did that for me.

Happy SITs day!

Cher said...

haha!!! good man, good man. Congrats on your SITS day!!

The Rambler said...

Like Cher just said....good man indeed! :) A keeper for sure.

Happy SITS day!

Smitten by Britain said...

Oh lord! I don't know whom I'm most embarrassed for, you or him.

Stephanie Smirnov said...

Happy SITS day! And thanks for the hilarious post. My hub is actually a very proficient purchaser of, uh, feminine hygiene utilities. He can navigate lengths, widths, wings, colors, plastic, cardboard, etc like a pro. I'm not sure what this tells me about him, but it's mighty convenient.

Laura said...

Happy SITS Day!

Mommys Online Garage Sale said...

Hey at least your man is willing to purchase them for you. Mine won't go near the isle, pathetic, lol. Funny Post.

Morgan said...

Classic! LOL! Congrats on your FB!

Pam said...

It's amazing that he would even go down that aisle, let alone stand there on the phone with you trying to figure out which was the right kind. My husband would not have even attempted to buy tampons. Not. in. a. million. years. You've got a great guy there!

Lamonica Epps said...

Funny post. Congratulations on being a featured blogger.

Stopping by from SITS

Susan said...

happy SITS day!! that's too funny. my hub is actually a pro at getting tampons, I usually forget which kind when I actually have to buy them.

Laura Ingalls Gunn said...

Thanks for the morning chuckle.

Chanda said...

Oh...my....goodness! I have long decided the husband is not allowed to buy me tampons any longer as he goes for the cheap cardboard kind every time. Ugh!

Superjaxster said...

Had to send my hubs out for those once too - I sent him with the empty box so he could memorize it OR take it in and compare. LOL! Hey we got through periods AND bear their children. Its the least they can do :)

...and everything nice said...

hahahah. I love it! Super long tampons, that is funny! I just hate laundry, its piled high in our house and I'm dreading getting it done!

Life of a Stepmama said...

HAHA what a cutie!! Every man dreads that isle that is for sure. Glad you could help the poor guy out! They have no idea.

Happy SITS day!

Amy said...

That is too funny. I think my hubby has actually done a good job of buying them for me. He came home with the good kind even, none of that cardboard junk for HIS wife!

Reluctant Housewife said...

That's too funny. I've stopped asking my husband to pick pads or tampons for me because he always gets the wrong thing. Even when I think I've been perfectly clear what it is I want.

Are You There Mom? said...

HA! I'm cracking up! That's hilarious! (also I gave my 2yo sourish milk yesterday am...hey we were out of all other breakfast foods. you wont find me judging!) :0)

Anti-Supermom said...

My husband swears he would get me tampons if the need be - but I'm betting he would 'conveniently forget'.

What a good man and what a great post!

Happy FB day~

Merry Mack said...

So funny!

D2the4thPower said...

I've SO gotten that phone call before! But at least they are willing to go buy them for us, right?

Funny post! I'm stopping by from SITS. Congrats on being the FB!

Sarahlcc said...

Haha! Very funny!

Stephanie said...

This made me crack up!! Been there, had that exact same conversation. So funny! :-)

www.thebeautificationproject.wordpress.com

The Mrs. said...

Im impressed he even got that far. Mine wont even go down the aisle with me. Its as if one might jump off the shelf and bite him or something.

Susan said...

Thank goodness you didn't send him to Sam's club. He'd have come home with a 200 count box!

Happy SITS day!

Holly said...

Haha. That's too funny!

Michelle said...

LOL....sweet husband.

thatdesigngal said...

Love it! A+ for effort! I don't think I could get Chris down that aisle! lol

~Mary

foxy said...

Hahahaha.... you are so funny! I'll be following you. ;) That seriously sounds like a conversation with my other half.

Oh - btw - happy SITS day to ya!

Kerri said...

Love it! My hubby is pretty good at this kind of stuff as he doesn't embarass easily, but we must be VERY specific!

Audrey at Barking Mad said...

My hubby won't even venture into that aisle let alone buy me any! Good man you've got there!

Happy SITS day to a fellow New England Mama!

BTW, are you going to be writing for us again? I don't remember if you were going to be able to, or not? Sure hope so.

Audrey at Barking Mad!

Pricilla said...

happy SITS day!

Tonya said...

That is too funny! I have sent my fiancee to buy tampons for me one time. I sent him with a list specifically describing the box, the decorations on the box, super, color of the wrapping on the tampon, and NO SCENT! That was the important part and I did use caps and an exclamation point!!!

Lisa Anne said...

LOl and least he purchased them for you. my BF says its the one thing he will never do. I can just get them myself. lol

Marrdy said...

Your hubby is so funny! My sweetie pie went to the store one day to buy those for MY daughter. Just too sweet. And I love your comment., Just buy 'em. Stop analyzing!!

jori-o said...

You gotta give him credit....at least he BOUGHT them! =)

Mrs. Fish aka Two Fish said...

Life is so much easier as a man....the whole thing about wanting extra long made me die in laughter...typical man! Love it, you're right....God bless him for trying.

Karie

HAPPY SITS Day!!

Lady Di said...

So did you only end up with ONE box? My guy would have brought home the super long maxi pads, the regular maxi pads, panty liners, and probably every kind of tampon there was OR he would have just given up and come home empty handed. MEN!!

Leigh said...

Stopping by from SITS! Love, love your 3 posts. I will definitely be stopping by again!

Atlanta said...

HAHA!! I love that! Hilarious. Although I happen to be blessed with a hubby who isnt easily embarrased. So Tampon shopping, NP. He has it down. Now he even knows the brand! And usually even the absorbancy! I know... I have him trained. Im good like that! lol I guess it could just be 9 years together? *High Five* for small ways to torture our Hubbys! ;)

Atlanta said...

...oh and next time maybe do what I did for my daughter in the Grocery store... I made her a shopping list. with pictures ;) She's 3!

carma said...

what a sweet helper - props for taking the time to find the right ones :D

Katie said...

Ha ha! happy SITS day! I have not yet sent my husband out for tampons but I know it is a day he is dreading...

Annikke said...

THAT is hilarious. My hubby was supposed to get some one time too and he had to call me to ask how many I wanted. I thought the same thing you did "just buy me a box dude!" Then when he got home he told me he was sure to tell the cashier at checkout that they were for his wife...I laughed and told him I was pretty sure she wouldn't think they were for him! LOL

Kara said...

Congrats on being saucy!
My hubbie will buy them for me, but I know he hates trying to find the right kind out of two hundred and eighty three choices, so I try to stock up when I'm at the store.

Kimi said...

Seriously. Your hubby buys tampons? You've trained him well even if you do have to guide him through it.

Mary said...

LOL, sounds just like MY husband!!! Hey, at least he was willing to get them. I know of some men who would no way in hades even agree to that!

Mimi said...

"Didja want super long" made me spit water on my screen. I can't stop laughing.

Have a great SITS day!

barefacedapproach said...

HAHAHAHHA!! At least your hubs will buy them. Mine will not. Hell he won't even touch the box as if the condition is contagious and soon enough he'll be on his period too. LOL Men!

Bill and Lorie Shewbridge said...

While I was working in a pharmacy once, I had a man come through the DRIVE-THRU to get them for his wife! He asked me to get them and I asked what kind, he had no idea, he said the normal kind. I just looked at him (through the window). I told him there were at least 30 different kinds. So I delicately asked him what size she was, had she ever had children, what type of flow she had..... It was ridiculous. I ended up getting him a pack of Tampax with the 3 different sizes, and wished him good luck! Some men..... I really wanted to tell him to "man up and come inside!"

Stalker v1.5 said...

My husband has no troubles purchasing tampons, pads, Pamprin, etc. Condoms? He freaks right out.

Explain that one. Haha.

Men ...

Nina @Playground for Parents said...

God forbid you want pantiliners next time. You may have to cut out a photo from the weekly coupon circular. Ha!

Enjoy your SITS day! Isn't it SO fabulous!

Zeemaid said...

*rofl* hey it's no worse than having to look for a pregnancy test kit next to a strange man debating the merits of ribbed or natural, large or extra large... if you know what I mean ;)

Happy SITS day.

Jessica said...

I'm actually lucky in this department: my hubby couldn't care less about these girlie items. He handles the check out counter with complete aplomb. I don't think I could if I had to, say, buy him Tucks Pads or something. hahaha

Lance and Jewls said...

Oh I am absolutely chortling right now!! I remember sending hub right after we were married and he was totally lost. We had to sit down and have a briefing...now it's no big deal :) You're hilarious...and for the record I HATE laundry, it's the worst chore ever besides cleaning the shower!

shortmama said...

My hubs is the same...clueless! He wont complain about having to get them, he truly doesnt mind...but I have to be VERY specific!

JaelCustomDesigns said...

Hilarious! I'm speechless. I think every guy goes through that at some point and it's funny every time! :-)

Stacey said...

Too funny! Mine won't buy them or even stand in the aisle with me!

Visiting from SITS!

Pamela said...

LMAO...this post cracked me up. I've read it twice today. Funny, funny, love it.

Scottish Lass said...

So, it's unhygienic that I did use the shavings to top our lasagna when we ran out of parm last week?

Chandy said...

Ha ha! That is just too funny!

natalee said...

im from sits Love love the blog so... funny!!!!!!!natalee come visit me.. http://totmama.blogspot.com/

BreeLu Bows and Bands said...

LOL! My husband would have conveniently forgotten that item! At least he tried!

MARGARITA BLOOM said...

Heehee, what a funny post! Congrats on your SITS day!! :)

supah ~d said...

ahhh ..lol

length..

lol

too funny

sits friend
congrats on your day..

d

Pollyanna (formerly the Laughing Idiot) said...

Happy SITS Day!

If I bestow the great responsibility of going to the store, my husband gets a picture lists - no more confusion :)

I'd love to have you drop by my place: Life Makes Me Laugh

Single Mama NYC said...

I had an ex-boyfriend buy me a box of maxi pads once. He wanted to go to the store in a ski mask to hide his face in shame but was afraid the clerk would mistake him for a robber, lol!

Natalia said...

My husband would be mortified if I ever asked him to pick up some tampons for me

missy said...

bahahahahahaha......i love it!!!!!!!!

Norine said...

Well good for him for trying!! That's a good hubby :)

Congrats on your SITS feature today! Your blog is so much fun to read!

Norine
Don't Put Lizards In Your Ears

The818 said...

Great post. This may be a bit of an overshare, but my dear hubby actually offered to go out and buy me Tucks Pads last week (What?! I'm pregnant - and they were precautionary.) I thought I'd drop dead from the shock.

Sassy Chica said...

Hilarious...and all in the name of love!!

Happy SITS Day,
Sassy Chica

Robbie S. Redmon, LPC said...

happy SITS Day!

Amanda @ Serenity Now said...

Hahaha....mine always calls with at least one dumb question from the store. ;)

Happy SITS Day!

InsomniacMummy said...

Too funny!

Honestly, eveytime I send my hubby to the supermarket (even with a list of one item) he rings up to check about something. And yes, we have had the tampon conversation too.

The Mom @ Babes in Hairland said...

ROFL! Can sooo relate! Thanks for the good laugh ... Enjoy your day in the SITS spotlight

{Katie Lane} said...

He just wanted to make sure he got the right box so he didn't have to go back. I think it was sweet :)

Lacey said...

Hi from sits! I haven't been married long, but my husband voluuntarily bought me midol. I'm proud of his minor accomplishment. Soon we will move on to bigger things.

Unknown Mami said...

Someone is going to read this and start making super long tampons.

Mama Mair said...

Very sweet husband. He wins big points for that one. And he spent time in the isle and called home for further details. Nice!
Happy SITS day!

Cindi @ Moomette's Magnificents said...

Married for over 35 years. Never in a million years would I send DH to the store for that. He'd never do it. I would have to get off my deathbed to do it myself.

Happy SITS.

Sarah said...

HAHA! My fiance is like that too. He always ends up with the wrong thing, unless I'm on the phone with him. For everything! Toothpaste, bottled water, etc. I still love him though.

♥georgie♥ said...

LMAO! LOVES it!

Mama Mel said...

Ugh! I can totally relate to this! I have to text a picture of the exact box I want so my husband can get it for me. He doesn't mind doing it, though...

My husband has to call all the time about grocery items when I send him to get something for me. I don't understand why it is so difficult for them to find stuff!

Hennergy Hand & Foot Spa said...

I've been married for four years and have yet to send my husband to buy pads or tampons, though if he'd even agree to it I'm sure I too would get a call. When I do send him for things he's totally unfamiliar with (like swim diaprers) or make that everything i try to show him the empty box.

Jen said...

I can so relate. My husband can fix and program computers but can he buy a back of tampons..... No!

mommytoalot said...

Loved this post. You are too funny. Great hubby too.
congrats on your special day. sorry i'm late
cheers
Lisa

Red Writing said...

Oh! That is funny. I bet he got a few laughs while standing in the isle holding th box in one hand and cell phone in the other!

Lisa M said...

Happy SITS Day! (I'm late too.. Maybe it's a Lisa thing lol)

Wow lol. What a guy! I think my husband could handle a TIDBEM moment, but I think it's safer to not know for sure lol.

Lynn said...

It's always when we are buying the "personals" that we run into people we know. We call our condoms condominiums which after 5 years of marriage has morphed into "we are running low on real estate" (please no one I know be reading this...) clever, right? The other day I got the short straw to go and buy them and of course I end up on the line with the guy who forgets his wallet long enough for a woman with a little child to come up and stand behind me. I tried to hide it with my bread, but to no avail the little girl looked at me like "why would an adult by balloons in a box?" I wished by then I lived in France where I probably would have gotten an applause from the whole store for buying "real estate"!

My best, Lynn

Kristin said...

A cookie for attempting! Happy SITS day!

Yaya said...

Aww. What a good hubby!

the planet of janet said...

hilarious!

and what a trooper your husband is!

(btw: word verification is balistab. the 12-year-old boy in me found that hysterical)

Heth said...

That was such a funny post! So glad I found your blog! :) Thanks for making me laugh tonight!

gaelikaa said...

I'm from Ireland. I live in India. I sent my grown up nephew (in an emergency) to the chemist with the exact money and a folded up piece of paper with the preferred brand written on it. He never missed a beat. Brought it back in a black polythene bag, no questions asked....

Sophia's Mom said...

You just described the exact scenario that every married couple lives through when the hubby has to buy feminine products.

If you listen carefully, you might actually hear some husband in the feminine products aisle losing a little bit of his manliness as you read this!

What I do know to avoid these calls is give him the empty bax so he can compare it at the store. Even then, he has to ask the sales girl to confirm he has picked the right one.

Gotta love them for trying though.

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