Monday, August 17, 2009

FAPA

I have a confession to make:

I constantly think about getting a tummy tuck.

"Abdominoplasty is an operation to remove excess skin and fatty tissue from the abdomen and to tighten the muscles of the abdominal wall. Although an abdominoplasty improves body contours and shape it is not a replacement for weight loss. Overweight individuals should lose weight by dieting and postpone all forms of body contouring surgery until they have been able to maintain their weight loss. Frequently, liposuction may be combined with abdominoplasty surgery. The best candidates for abdominoplasty surgery are individuals near their ideal weight who have an excess of fat or skin localized to their abdomen."

Fellow c-section mothers, you know what I mean, right? That SKIN POUCH above the c-section scar? And I've had THREE c-sections.

(Personally, I refer to it as FAPA. Fat Above P*ssy Area. Ahem.)

(Otherwise known as Ugly-Naked.)

(Further referred to as Sex Only With the Lights Off.)

I peruse Boston plastic surgeon websites constantly. Wanting, but hesitant. Eager, but hesitant. Certain, yet uncertain at the same time.

Hubby is nonchalant. The times I complain about my old man belly, he shrugs and says, "So do it. After we fix the truck, that is."

This is not caving to some sort of societal pressure. This is ME. MY BODY. How I feel about it. How I feel about myself when I'm nekkid. Hell, it's only a 10-day recovery period. No one will even notice the difference. Nor would I want them to. Because that's not what this is about.

31 comments:

Jenn@ The Crazies said...

I will do it if you do... I have been wanting some plastic surgery for awhile now... Steve keeps telling me to go ahead.. charge it... I am jsut not sure I can handle the recovery!

Tuesday Girl said...

I so have the same pouch of skin. My doctor even told me I will never lose it because it is extra skin from the C-sections + big twins.

If you find a great surgeon in Boston let me know we can do it together!

Dorene said...

I hear ya. I've had 2 C-sections and I'd love to get rid of the mess down there. Maybe when the kids get older and don't expect to be lifted up anywhere. Not sure I'd have the luxury of the recovery time right now.
It would also be great if I could figure out a way for insurance to cover it. Perhaps we can all get together and get a group discount in Boston!

Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy said...

I am sooooooo with you in this boat! I haven't had three C-sections, but I've had three pregnancies, during all of which I've gained MASSIVE amounts of weight. It has left my formerly-smokin' stomach stretched out and flabby and bread-dough-like. And it's not like I want to get this done because I'm anxious to go prancing around in a bikini: I'm just anxious to have some semblance of my former bod back.

Great post. I completely identify. :)

Martha said...

So sorry for the post c-section belly and I hope you get to have your tummy tuck soon.

Pam said...

I can totally relate. I think if it wasn't for my pot belly I would be MUCH happier with my body and would obsess about it a lot less. AND I think I would be happier with the way I look in clothes. I haven't really ever seriously considered a tummy tuck, but after looking at the pictures you linked, I'm tempted.

La Belle Mere UK said...

I'm totally with you on that. I've always said the number 1 cosmetic surgery procedure I would have if I had the guts/the money would be a tummy tick and lipo on my stomach. I hate my stomach area. I can live with the rest of me but the tummy desperately needs sorting out!!!

Maybe we should all club together and get massive discounts for a bulk (pun intended) order. We could go to one of those holiday surgery clinics in The Maldives or something!! A group surgery holiday!!! I'm there.

LBM XXXX

Annie Duncan said...

If you know you aren't having more kids and more c-sections, I say you go for it! There is nothing wrong with wanting to look and feel better. Once I am done having kids, I fully intend to have a little work done. A tummy tuck and maybe even a boob job. Breastfeeding does a number on the once perky boobies. And cosmetic surgery isn't nearly as expensive as it used to be. Go for it!

Gray Matter said...

Two words--do it. Seriously, I did lipo and it was the best thing I ever did for myself. Life is way to short to look in the mirror everyday and wish you looked different.

Jeanette said...

I'd do it if I could afford it! In a heartbeat!

Becky said...

After we fix the truck, lol!

If my husband said this, I would totally take this as a YES, and go ahead and schedule it:)

Sometimes you just have to do stuff for you.

confused homemaker said...

I consider it reconstructive surgery. Not merely plastic surgery, it just puts back what got shifted and moved around due to the trauma (albeit beautiful trauma) we mothers go through for our kids.

annenahm said...

Holy hell have I thought about this too, which says something considering how my only other endeavor into plastic surgery ended so horribly.

The only thing holding me back really is the after photos on the tummy tuck. The ones where the after is in a bathing suit or panties look amazing sometimes, but the after where you can see the scar? It looks wrong somehow, like I might get more depressed looking like I was cut in two.

It's a sad assed world when either option seems depressing.

If you do it, blogggggg eeeet!

Jen said...

After 2 c-sections and carrying triplets, I so know this issue. I live with this issue. I want a whole mommy body make over!

amanda said...

one time in the hallway at school i was talking to a students mom when she told me to "feel em" - i was shocked - she got boobs and a tuck.

she said she deserved it.

and now after only one c-section i couldn't agree more.

Suzie said...

I had one about two years ago and would do it again in a heartbeat! There's no way to exercise off that pooch for some folks, and while I lost weight my pooch got bigger (well, it hung down more!). I had a 9.5 lb baby, then twins (12 lbs of babies there), so something needed to be done. But I'll tell you - it might be more than just a 10 day recovery - depends on what they do exactly. Mine was 3 weeks of no driving (they found a hernia and fixed it while they were in there) and no picking up heavy stuff for a while even after that. But it was SOOOOO worth every penny and all the recovery time! GO FOR IT if you get a chance!

Manic Mommy said...

I'd liposuck my thighs in a heartbeat! If it makes you happy, I say go for it!

Chicky Chicky Baby said...

Sure, honey. You can fix up yo' body, right after the carburetor is replaced.

Men, they're so romantic and understanding.

As for going for the plastic surgery - Darlin', I'm already planning for botox. :)

Cheri said...

My husband refers to my mini-tt as the best money he has ever spent! I had 2 9 lb babies and looked pregnant around the clock. After having lost 4 children to m/c, I just couldn't take being asked that anymore. Just the way I was "built". After we finished up with infertility treatments for more children (with the result of zero additional children), I asked if I could spend the money we had saved for that to fix my stomach. He agreed!

I had a mini-abdominoplasty, which is where they do everything below the belly button, leaving the belly button alone. I also had what the doc called "Lipo-sculpture", which made the transition around to my hips flawless. I lost 5-6 inches of stretch marks and have a rock hard belly, still 7 years later.

I HIGHLY recommend it. If your body image affects the relationship with hubby, it will be a gift for both of you. In the meantime, get a red lightbulb and report back how that works for you!! Red, glowing light makes everything disappear - fat, stretch marks, wrinkles, etc. Va Va Va voom!!

Only negative - you WILL gain fat in new areas if you gain weight. Once the tummy fat is gone, you may get football shoulders, or bigger breasts and/or thighs. The fat WILL go somewhere else, so be prepared for that.

Good luck!

Michelle said...

I could have wrote this post. And I haven't had a c-section. After the first I think you can somewhat return to pre-pregnancy. But not after the second.

It's just that if the stretch marks and saggy skin weren't there, it would be sooo much better!

(Okay and maybe some lift in the upper regions as well.)
(But I'd settle for just the tummy tuck)

It's just so hard to justify spending money on that when I could think of a million other things to spend it on.
Someday.......

Vodka Logic said...

I would also like to get my breasts put back where they belong.. No truck to fix but the kids that did this to me need to go to college. One is there one more to go.

xx

Anonymous said...

I did have the tummy tuck done four years ago and would do it again tomorrow. However, forget the ten day recovery period, it was more like four to six weeks. The incision is 24" long, from hipbone to hipbone, but still worth it. They also combine liposuction of the sides and back when they do the tummy tuck. Although I was black, blue, green and purple, I did not feel the bruising. Like I said, I would do it again tomorrow!!!

Ladybug's Picnic said...

Oh hell yeah. 100% yeah. Once the kids are older and less demanding physically I am all over that as well as a breast lift. I'm thinking 40th birthday present!

ItWasTooGoodToResist said...

(tongue very firmly in cheek) Don't use the same doctor that Kate Gosselin did. The surgery turned out fine but the rest was a mess.

Lolly said...

YESSSSSSS I hate the 'sex in the dark' skin. Once I'm done having kiddos (we plan on having one more in a few years) I will have that hunk of skin and fat irradicated from my body. I have tattoos on my hips that I haven't seen in over a year.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I'm LMAO at your name for it! And yep, I have it too...3 c-sections are hell on the body aren't they??

Sarah said...

So I'm not sure what happened. I think my comment went poof! Either that or you haven't moderated yet. I'll try to re-do here....

I love, love, love the idea of this. Of getting a mommy makeover in this way. In fact, if I hadn’t just viewed the pictures you linked to, I would be writing some kind of crazy rave review of the surgery without ever having gotten one. To be honest, the pictures just threw me right off.

Three kids later and the stretch marks criss-cross more than just my stomach…my psyche and my sex-life have been scarred as well. I’m tired of wincing when I look in the mirror. The flapjacks substituted for breasts. The unleavened bread stuck against my ribs.

Like I said the first time I tried to leave this comment, I don't want to monopolize all of your comment space here at the Trenches, and since your post inspired such long commenting from me I have carried that over to my own little corner of the blogosphere, Momalom.com. I've linked to you over there. I hope you don't mind.)

Thanks for the inspiration. I'll be tweeting this now too!

Cheers!

Fishbowl said...

wow, since EVERY SINGLE other post is in support, I'll play devil's advocate. I think it's 100% about body image and societal pressures. We DO feel bad about our bodies because society tells us we should look different, hotter, more feminine, younger, BETTER.

I'm sure you'll like how you look afterward, there's no doubt about that (apparently) and maybe there's no other way to effectively combat the HUNDREDS of negative messages we get every day about what we're doing wrong and how we're just not good enough.

I think the naked, no bra-wearing women in africa could give 2 shits if they have a little tummy sticking out. There are some societies that like women with meat on them, it's mainly western, which is slowly taking over the world, that likes anorexic control freaks. Hundreds of years ago you were supposed to be fat, to prove you had enough money to eat well. It's ALL about society.

But, stepping down from my soap box, I wish I could just appreciate my body, like I do when I look at pictures from years ago - no matter how fat I was then, I ALWAYS looked just fine if not occasionally hot and wish, just wish so hard, that I could have appreciated it.

That being said, I don't have as much of an issue with it as it may sound. I mean, if you're willing to put up with the pain of recovery, more power to ya sister. I think I would be such a whiner afterward, nobody would want to spend time with me anymore, and then what good would my new hot body be?

I will also TOTALLY support you and let you know how amAZing you look and want to hear all about it, and will be VERY jealous.

A Buns Life said...

I would do it in a heartbeat. I am 5'1 110 lbs and have a huge roll around my stomach. Last winter I even got down to 103 and STILL had it, so I know that I tummy tuck is the only way it is going to go away...I hate it. It affects the clothes that I can wear and how I feel in them. It's not like I want to wear hoochie mama clothes, but I should be able to wear a t-shirt and not be self-conscious of it clinging to my mid-section....o-well. Never going to happen. sigh.

a li'l bit squishy said...

I had three babies in three years and the fourth came along three years later. No c-section, but I've still got the stretch marks and the funny flap. Even more disconserting is what happened to my breasts after 5+ years of breastfeeding, ah pancake boobs (or tube socks as I've recently seen them referred to). I love my children and wouldn't wish them away but I would like to be able to have sex (without hang-ups) and the lights on again. So if I weren't afraid of general anaesthetic I would totally be on board with you. You need to do what makes you feel best about yourself!

All Adither said...

I'm a fellow mom blogger who recently just started working for a site called RealSelf (www.realself.com) here in Seattle. It's a great reference for before and after photos, procedure reviews and doctor Q & As. Anyway, I'm totally not trying to spam you, but I wanted to throw it out there. The people I work with are ethical and have patients' best interests at heart. (We're also looking for some fantastic blogging ladies like yourself who might do a tummy tuck in the future to record video diaries for us...contact me if you're interested). Sorry to go on and on. I really like your blog.

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