Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Cross-Training with Rugrats

Since Monday was Eldest's first football practice of too many of the long-ass season, I figured I would attend to say hi to everyone (the football moms) and to show my grudging support.

So to multi-task, I decided I would walk down to the practice. With both Middle and Baby. In the jog stroller.

When I got home from work, the little guys hadn't eaten yet. Granny 911 was cooking pasta for them. I instructed her that they could eat on the fly because I wanted to get down to practice.

She looked at me questioningly. But how can they eat hot pasta in the stroller?


You cool it, and then throw it in 2 ziplock baggies. Insta-dinner!

Mother-of-the-Year right here.

Let the cross training begin!

1. Throw one 35 lb 5-year old into the stroller.

2. Throw one 32 lb 4-year old into the stroller next to his brother.

3. Be kinda thankful that your boys are runts.

4. Rush around the house to gather iPod for you (to drown out the whining) and an iPod for The Next American Idol.

5. Cave and let 4-year old bring his Nintendo DS and pray that he doesn't drop it out of the stroller.

6. Throw in some juice boxes and a water bottle.

7. Think that perhaps a baggie of pasta won't be enough for your already underweight offspring and run back into the house to quickly pop a bag of microwave popcorn for you them to eat while watching practice.

8. Notice that you're already sweating but haven't gone anywhere yet.

9. Begin with delusions of grandeur in your head that you can RUN THE ENTIRE WAY whilst pushing 67 pounds of delightfulness.

10. After 1 minute and 24 seconds, stop running.

11. Wonder whether the stroller's tires are flat and perhaps THAT'S why you can't run.

12. Silently fume at Hubby for not pumping up the tires.

13. Make it to a steep downhill part and begin running again.

14. Scratch that, you're actually not running. You're being dragged.

15. Stop because Middle would like his bag of noodles now.

16. Begin moving again.

17. Stop because Baby is done playing Nintendo. He'd like his noodles now.

18. And a juice box.

19. Begin again.

20. Still being dragged downhill.

21. Make it to the main road. There's no sidewalk. Push stroller precariously on edge of busy road.

22. Take notice that every driver is looking at you and your fat sweatiness because both boyz are making faces and waving to every car.

23. Begin to run faster to get this bright idea OVER WITH.

24. Finally make it to a sidewalk. Baby asks if he can walk. You readily agree.

25. Wow, 35 pounds is easy to push.

26. 32 minutes later, you make it to football practice. Sweating.

27. Let all the football moms admire your dedication and physical fitness.

28. Shrug and say, "Aww, it was nothing."


Natalie said...

I've often contemplated walking to football practice myself. It is only 1.4 miles. Eventually, I come to my senses & just get in the car.

Martha@A Sense of Humor is Essential said...

My goodness, I think I burned calories just reading this post. Good for you!

Shanna said...

Wow! You just about described my Saturday morning runs! We pack cereal in baggies for the older boys in my stroller, along with water, toys, and whatever bribery I throw in there. Then my friend pushes the baby in his slumbering 15 pound state!! For some reason I can't talk her into taking one of the nearly 40 pounders!!
We always put on a show when passing someone running, and then start walking again when a safe distance from them!

Jenn@ The Crazies said...

See now... we all were commenting on how dedicated you are! And the noodles-in-a-bag... CLASSIC! I plan on using that later in the week!

Rebecca Jill said...

Absolutely brilliant!

Life As I Know It said...

good grief, I'm tired just reading that post.

Allison said...

I would be so frazzled by the time I was done - Fottball moms would be thinking I was such a B*!@&. I envy that you could even run 1 minute 24 seconds. thats about a minute longer than I would!

Unknown said...

You did more than I did! I laid on the couch and watched bad reality tv! It was heaven! :)

Shasta said...

That first part is so me, I'm always worn out before we even begin to leave to wherever it is we're going. Getting 3 boys ready to go out the door is a lot of work!

But wow! You are braver than me, you get some kind of mom fitness award!

Serenityville said...

so funny!! good one!

Michele R said...

Just wait till all three of them are playing 2 or 3 different types of sports and all the games and practices overlap with each other. But then when they are all busy at practice you can jog around the park!

Suburb Sierra said...

How did you get home?

Just asking... :)

Great post.

amanda said...

these are the kind of posts that make me fall in love with you all over again!

but not in a weird way :)

Vodka Logic said...

Did you get a ride home? :-)

Emmy said...

Good for you! I have a friend that always walks/runs her kids to school this way and I am in awe. Me, I plan on taking the lazy way, driving every time.
It is amazing how complicated everything gets when you have kids.
Congrats on being featured on SITS!

MamaOtwins+1 said...

A. I'm jealous you have runts that still fit in a stroller. We were done before age four.

B. I have much admiration for running/walking/dragging to practice.

Kerri Sweeris said...

LOVE IT...Hilarious play by play. Stopping by from SITS.
Have a good one!

Unknown said...

You are a star!
I can't believe this is even physically possible.

Scottish lass said...

You funny lady!
Congrats on your Sits Day.

Unknown said...

This was the funniest blog post I have read, probably ever! I love it!!

Mary Ellen said...

Your writing style is fantastic.
Your blog is hilarious.
I'm ignoring the fact that my toddler is calling me from his crib because I CAN'T STOP READING!!!

ch said...

AH yes football season begins! You are a champ! My seven year old is in football too. They started last Saturday. It's been everyday since, yippy!! Thank Goodness for thunderstorms.
Congrats on your SITS day!
Love your blog:)

@TiffanyRom said...


I could so hear your voice when I was reading this.

My 8 year old weighs 90 lbs.

That'a all I could think of.


BTW my word verification was "blessnis" which reminds me of blesings which is you!

Meisha said...

SITS Girl here.

I must say, I almost p*ssed on my self. This was just too funny. I love it. I'll be back!

Hannah said...

I love your blog. It's fun to read ! Submit cute or funny photos and tell friends to vote for them. No entry fee.

Juliet Grossman said...

I do baggies of pasta too! I am so relieved that I'm not the only one:-)

Lynette3boys said...

These were great, but I must say #8 and #14 had me laughing out loud (and relating!). Glad you made it safe and sweaty.


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