Wednesday, July 22, 2009

I'm Stepping Onto My Soapbox With This One

Apparently, Cheating is the New Black these days.

South Carolina governor Mark Sanford;

John (and Kate) Gosselin (I honestly believe she didn't, though);

Steve McNair...

Those are just 3 names I thought of without any hesitation. Without a doubt, there are countless others who have committed, or are committing, adultery. Not just athletes, government figures or TV "stars". They are your co-workers, your neighbors, your friends, your spouse, you. (Not you-you though. My, you look pretty today. Is that a new shirt?)

Frankly, it sickens and disgusts me.

While commuting home the other day, a huge 1/2 page ad in the Boston Metro caught my eye. And it wasn't like it was a small ad on the back pages. This was a BOLD ad, nestled among other mainstream ads, opposite the page on which I enjoy my daily Sudorku.

It was for this company. [If you don't want to click on the link, lemme just summarize that this is a company that bills itself as "an online dating site that caters to married couples" and that it's the "world premier discrete dating service where an affair is guaranteed."

Really people? Really?

Somebody please fill me in. Apparently I seem to be missing something here, because

Whatever happened to "''Til death do us part?"

111 comments:

HaB said...

I must be missing something too. Either that or I take the vows I said a few years ago in front of all our family and friends, way to seriously. (note the sarcasm & eye roll).

*~* Jenni *~* said...

That's sad. What's just as sad is that the website claims to have been featured on several talk shows.

People in socety now are too fickle. Everything is too convenient, and we are all just getting plain lazy. If something doesn't work, we buy a new one. If something in our lives requires effort, we ditch it and try something else. This seems to apply to everything from cars to appliances to spouses.

Michele Renee said...

This ad serioulsy speaks to those who have an obsession.
The cheating that I loved: The Bridges of Madison County. Sigh. Cheesy book and off-topic from your post but in fiction I can read about it. Real life, yuck.

Michelle said...

Couldn't agree more.

Shanna said...

Wow. I can't believe there is such a company! Pathetic.

Natalie said...

I absolutely agree. I'm not a judgmental person. You never know what a person is going through or what they're life is like. After all, I'm not walking in their shoes. But that company is disgusting. Why promote the idea of infidelity? People are going to cheat, why help? The idea of marriage is no longer sacred. People jump in without thinking. They go in knowing if it doesn't work, they can simply get a divorce. It's like changing shoes & it's truly sad.

AmyG said...

Wow... I have no words for that!

Manic Mommy said...

I don't know which is worse, that there's a company or that there's a need that the company is filling.

Marriage is treated as a throw-away by too many people.

Petunia Face said...

Oh great--I clicked on the COMPANY link and now my husband might see that on the history in the computer and think I am having an affair. :)

That is truly sick. And sad.

Rebecca Jill said...

There's also Nevada Senator John Ensign, who even got his mommy and daddy to pay money to his mistress and her family, though apparently the payments are allegedly a "gift."

It's absolutely ridiculous!

Monnik said...

I thought the same thing as Petunia. Not the kind of site you want saved in your history folder. Sheesh!

I honestly had no idea that a company like that existed. I'm so naive about stuff like this.

Ashley said...

I'll join you on your soapbox in a heartbeat.

I have a serious hatred for cheating, cheaters, people who even act like they are going to cheat. Probably stems from both of my parents being unfaithful. My husband knows how I feel, and knows that he can completely trust me because if I was ever attracted enough to anyone to even contemplate cheating, I would leave him instead of hiding an affair. And he knows I completely trust him because if he were to cheat, I would chop off his balls.

amanda said...

dude i just read about this in time magazine!! they had an article where they interviewed the ceo and he said "humans aren't meant to be monogamous" then they asked what we would think if his own wife used his site "i would be devastated"

well hello??

seriously awful!!

Becky @ Our Sweet Peas said...

Ridiculous! I was stuck in a grocery line FOREVER last night and read the latest about Jon Gosselin. What a complete joke?? I love how he acts as if he is some young stud who just got married too soon blah, blah, poor me, blah, blah!

Sorry but it really annoys me!

BTW preach it sista!!!

azusmom said...

Make room for me on that soapbox, too! I actually saw a segment on TV about that agency, and it's just gross. They should be ashamed of themselves, and they're not, at all. Just the opposite. But I suppose Karma will get them, eventually.
Maybe what happened with Steve McNair will make other people stop and think. But I doubt it.

Amy said...

This makes me get all old man curmudgon and want to scream - "THE END IS NEAR AMERICA!" "EVIL HAS WON AND THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY!"

I believe that undermining marriage damages society and we sure don't have much respect for it anymore.

Allison said...

For some of those cheaters - their affair does end up with death parting them.... possibly a fitting punishment!

Annie Duncan said...

I think there will always be people who cheat, and there always has been. In the past though, it seemed like people sort of fell into an affair, with a friend, coworker, or maybe an ex and they had excuses like problems at home etc. to defend themselves (for the record, I am in no way condoning cheating!). And while I don't agree with it, I do understand why some people go there. However, "services" like this are only amplifying the problem. How many more people are going to cheat because an affair landed in their lap? This isn't like 2 people spending a lot of time together and then realizing they are attracted to each other and no longer being able to hold back. These people are actually LOOKING to have an affair! And the website is just making it easier! Totally ridiculous. When I woke up this morning I though to myself, "I'll go to work, pay some bills, make dinner, and maybe watch a little tv today". I didn't think, "Ya know, today is the day to start up that affair I've been putting off". I agree with the previous poster that said people are too lazy to make anything work. Marriage is like fashion. When it goes out of style you get rid of it. Makes me sick. But it also makes me strive even harder to make my marriage work so that I don't contribute to the problem.

Kelly said...

Hopefully there's a special place in Hell for that CEO.

Imagine, trafficking in infidelity.

La Belle Mere UK said...

I can't believe they have the audacity to advertise that service. "Come on over to Homewreckers R Us." How do they sleep at night??

Happy SITS day.

B x

Heath said...

wow...I COMPLETELY agree. Not only "death do you part" but what about to "keep yourself only unto him/her and forsaking all others"? That company...ew.

Kathy said...

AMEN!!!

I was soooo frustrated by the tabloids blaming Kate becasue she "made Jon stop loving her" Who knows what happened in tehir marriage but....HE MADE A VOW!!

Apparently we dont hold people to those anymore.

Lolly said...

:-( that makes me sad.

Becky said...

How sad it is to see how prolific adultery is these days. I have only been married two and a half years but I take my vows very seriously. It's a pity some others out there don't.

Sandra Winn said...

Visiting from SITS!

I'm going to try and be as objective as possible on this issue...I don't think adultery has become socially acceptable more so than any other period throughout history. I think it just seems that way because we're living in the age of an over-abundance of information.

When I first heard about businesses set up specifically for adulterers, I cringed (still do, adultery makes me sick) and felt just like you. How could this be? Why would anyone desire to make a profit on something that destroys marriages? However, if cheaters aren't finding someone on the net--they'll find them off the net. Those businesses aren't going to add to the problem of adultery--no matter how despicable they are.

Just my .03. :-)

Tania @ Larger Family Life said...

Oh for goodness sakes. Now I've heard it all!

Tammy Howard said...

Ok, I take a lot of crsap in certain circles because I didn't think Walk the Line was romantic. We were presented with their great love story, but we didn't get to see the broken marriages and broken families it left in its wake. Adultery is not romantic snd it is not ok. I can appreciate the drama - even - perhaps - the tragedy - of being with the wrong one when the right one comes along. But come on.

And on thsat cheery note - congrats on your SITS day!!!

Robin said...

What's more, these people don't see anything wrong with their adultery behavior. They are so self centered that they don't care who gets hurt. And although they are the most dishonest, they can't understand why people don't trust them. And I am always troubled by how people will vote for a candidate who has committed adultery. If he is dishonest with his own family, if he lies to the one he "loves", why on earth would ever be honest with us, the public voter. We are but just a number....nothing more.

Creative Junkie said...

It went flying out the window a long time ago.

How sad is it that I'm no longer surprised about it?

Joy said...

Well said.

Congrats on your SITS feature day.

countryfriedmama said...

Oh, the Gosselins. I know more about this sad family than I want to. I wish they would fade away...

Cher said...

It is truly sad. It's almost like a fad. Sick. I'm appalled by that website.

Smitten by Britain said...

Don't get me started on Kate Gosselin. That's right, I said Kate Gosselin. I'll leave it there. ;-)

Stephanie Smirnov said...

Am visiting from SITS, great post,I share your outrage. My parents' marriage ended because of adultery. Nothing good about it, period end of report.

Laura said...

I'm not sure marriage really means anything nowadays.

Mommys Online Garage Sale said...

I too am speechless.

Pam said...

First, don't get me started on Jon and Kate + 8. I can't stand anything about those 2 or their show - and that was BEFORE the cheating. Yuck!

And the company advertising in such a public place. Wow! What have we come to as a society? That is really shocking.

Lamonica Epps said...

I agree with your post. So many people think it's ok to cheat. It's wrong for a person to start a dating service that helps married couples cheat. People will do anything to make money.

SmartPumpkin'sMom said...

There is less and less room for marrige in it's traditional form... Sad but true. That's why I have that huge respect for couples who stay commited. It is becoming more an exception than a norm.

Sharon said...

Hear Hear and AMEN!

BlogBaby said...

I think the fact that "The Company" is selling adultery is what sickens me most. But I suppose in a world where we sell Sex freely to singles, it only makes sense to sell free sex to married folk. And by "makes sense" I mean in the makes-sense-that-this-world-is-going-straight-to-hell-kind-of-way.

Makes me shake my head, then vomit in my mouth a little.

BlogBaby's BabyMama

confused homemaker said...

Affairs are painful something that a person has to live with for LIFE. AND the company that offers them as a good time lacks any sense of humanity. OK, I'm done, if I go on anymore I'll be writing a post in the comments.

JennyMac said...

Some people will promote anything. How sad.

Chanda said...

I completely agree! I am saddened for the families torn apart because of this.

Superjaxster said...

Okay. A. When did it become trendy to cheat? B. How is this service discreet if it has to put ads in the paper? and C. IF these people cheated because they were unhappy in their marriage, did they EVER consider counseling? I mean we are talking about people with cash to burn. Never thought to pay a pastor or counselor to help them work through their issues though, huh???
Glad you brought this up, I feel MUCH better after that vent there. Oh and BTW - HAPPY SITS DAY! :)

Life of a Stepmama said...

Wow that is crazy, I just talked about this same issue on my blog yesterday, I was talking with a coworker about affairs started on facebook. It is crazy. Great post and yes it is sad how many people think that cheating is ok. Whatever makes you happy is the new wedding vow.

Amy said...

Honestly, it just makes me sick. I am confused by the lack of fidelity in our society. I think it has something to do with the instant gratification mentality people have now days. And isn't cheating technically against the law, so shouldn't that company be illegal?

Reluctant Housewife said...

Oh wow. Really? There's a company that exists to hook up people who want to cheat on their spouses? That's terrible.

Yuck.

I agree with you - that's icky.

withoutadornment said...

Couldn't agree with you more!

It's so sad that people treat marriage like a revolving door or that it is not a binding contract. Perhaps when people get bored they should tell their spouse that they are and they both do something about it? Wait, that might be too much of a simple concept.

Are You There Mom? said...

AMEN! Our last post was on that very same thing!

Are You There Mom? said...

PS- I saw a commercial for that company on HGTV! Can you believe that!?

Merry Mack said...

TOTALLY AGREE! GROSS! This deserved a soapbox. Funny how it always the super Christian conservatives that can some how find it in them to break those vows.
www.merrymack.com

daphne said...

That was well but
But that's the way the cookie crumbles in present society right now. Best to protect our own marriages and not be complacent..nor too critical, i suppose.

Anyhow, happy SITS day!

Sharon said...

That's just sickening! And some of us believe that families are FOREVER...not just till death, etc. Seriously, people!

Sarahlcc said...

Yes, exactly.

Stephanie said...

I guess to each his or her own. I've always said that if a marriage reaches a point of infidelity on one or both sides that there were problems that should have been addressed long, long ago. Just my 2 cents.

P.S. I love a good soapbox, don't you? :-)

www.thebeautificationproject.wordpress.com

JackieMacD said...

never mind movies that show two people having an affair, toting them as meant to be. it's so sad.

Michelle said...

Seriously? Why even stay married if it's that bad? I don't believe in divorce...but if you are going to cheat...and bring home diseases or impregnant someone else...come on...file! That's absurd. What kind of disgusting company is that?????

And yea, JON GOSSELIN STINKS.

Holly said...

The owner of AM was on a talk show a while back. I was in awe that he thought it was ok! I just couldn't believe it.

foxy said...

Oh my gah... RIGHT!? I am sooooo with you on this one... WTH?

Stereos and Souffles said...

They actually do radio ads now. Can you believe it? I know one of my local morning shows would not allow it to be played during their slotted time.

Pricilla said...

It seems that at least politically if the Republicans cheat it is OK as long as they beg forgiveness but if a Democrat cheats it is THE HORROR, THE HORROR.

It is cheating no matter what. Pigs, or piglettes.

MammaMania said...

Oh don't make me go there! So disgusting. I had a friend who left her husband for, like, the 19 year old Russian life guard. Yeah. She was 37. But whatever. It lasted 3 months.

Unreal, people!

Tonya said...

Hmmm...I don't think the world should be catering to jacka**'s!! I can't believe there is really a site like this...I don't get the world today!

Lisa Anne said...

Sad. A lot of people don't have any instilled morales or values. No connection to their home life. Marriage is just a term and a piece of paper now a days. It's just sad. You can't trust anyone. THe person you least expect to be a cheater probably is. YOu can't live your life worrying, if it's gonna happen it will happen and ther is nothing anyone can do about. this is what our world hasbecome. Broken homes!

Marrdy said...

Having been cheated on myself, I agree with you. This is horrendous. I don't understand how you can do that to the ones you say you love the most. And it's not just the spouse. It's the children, the parents, the siblings, the next door neighbor...everyone!

roadrunner201 said...

You are not alone here. It really bothers me, too.

Happy SITS day.

jori-o said...

That complany sickens me. And really, the fact that marriage has been so chaepened...people go into thinking "we can always get a divorce if it doesn't work out..."

Sad.

Audrey at Barking Mad said...

Seriously? Right when I didn't think anything could surprise me, I discover there's a company that caters to adulterers.

Kelly said...

Ugh! I'm with you on this one. It angers me to no end how acceptable adultery is. I work with a woman who just bought a house/lives with a guy who is married! Not even in the divorce process. And we are all supposed to act like this is okay and tease her about when they're going to have kids. As a woman, with a husband, it makes me sick.

Happy SITS Day!!

Bill and Lorie Shewbridge said...

Totally with you on this one.... What a disgusting ad... those people should be ashamed of themselves.

Atlanta said...

Wow, What kind of person would start a dating service like that? I mean, is marriage that unimportant? Great Post. Stopping by from SITS. Happy SITS DAY!! Oh and thanks, but no this is not a new shirt ;)

carma said...

here's a suggestion, there is no need to be "discreet" unless you are doing something you perhaps shouldn't be doing???

Katie said...

This is seriously sickening. I can't believe there is a company out there doing this! I can't even watch movies and shows with cheating in them because it seriously makes me upset. I agree with you, what happened to the sancitity of marriage??

Kara said...

I'm with you, that is just sick and wrong! It is sad that we live in such a disposable society where marriage is taken so lightly by so many.

glenna said...

TV has made way too many Reality Shows for finding person to marry.

What does it tell our kids?......it tells them there is no sanctity of marriage. It tells them marriage is a game you play ...complete with cheating.

I'm jumping down from my soap box now.

Mary said...

Oh, I so agree with you! If only it were just cheating!

I think it's just that a lot of people don't view things as having any moral absolutes anymore - no right, no wrong, just whatever you want to do is okay so long as it make YOU feel good. And unfortunately I'm afraid there is a whole generation who have been raised off of college professors who push this liberal "it's all about me" thinking.

I recently had instances where two so-called food bloggers had stolen my photographs and recipes and posted them on their own blogs as there's. One of them took 30 of my recipes, verbatim! And they had followers, followers who believed that this was that person's work.

Blogging is a lot of work to begin with, but food blogging even more so. There's the cooking, and the dozens of photos that you take to get the right shot. Then the typing, the uploading, the editing. How can somebody take someone else's work like that without feeling guilty? No moral absolutes!!

Whew. Guess I got on a soapbox too there didn't I? :)

Happy SITS Feature Day!!!

Mimi said...

I just wrote a rant on my blog today about Jon & Kate.

As someone who's husband cheated & then left me & out 2 small sons, I'll never get it.

barefacedapproach said...

The sanctity of marriage is NONexistent!!! No joke, my husband and I have been married for almost four years and the other day we made friends at the park with another couple. Apparently while I was chatting it up with the wife the husband was telling mine about his 6 year affair (they've been married 5 years!). Better yet he was in SHOCK that my husband hadn't had an affair and wanted to set him up!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What is wrong with people?

Stalker v1.5 said...

Is easy to give up and start fresh. Takes hard work to keep a marriage strong. A large majority of people like the easy road and rarely travel the hard road. Too bad those people don't realize that the hard road has the best view!

Happy SITS day!

Zeemaid said...

I've heard of it too, actually listened to a radio interview with one of the founders. They say they don't condone or promote infidelity it, they just provide a service to their clients. They see it as maybe doing the marriage a favour by supplying what the spouse needs that he/she may not be getting in the marriage and still leaving the marriage intact.... hubba what?

Happy SITS day. Love your blog. You are one of those great and entertaining writers. :)

Jessica said...

I'm in no way condoning affairs, however, I think people are utterly ill-equipped to handle bumps in the road of their marriages and so cheating creates some kind of relief (however you want to categorize that).

Waaaaay too many people get married and then they take the easy way out. It's totally disheartening, and you're right, disgusting. It's weak.

~Jennifer~ said...

I have heard about that site before. My local talk radio was discussing how evil it was about a month ago.

I guess I just don't understand. Married people have the option of staying together and working through their problems. They also have the very valid option of getting a divorce. Why, oh why, do so many people chose to have affairs? If you decide you NEED to have sex with someone other than your spouse, do the honorable thing and leave the marriage. It may not be the most honorable thing, but it's a heck more honorable than giving your spouse an STD.

Lance and Jewls said...

That's ridiculous! I had never heard of that website, but it makes me sick!

Stacey said...

They were talking about one of these places on a talk show one time! I think it's disgusting! People should be ashamed of themselves!

shortmama said...

Oh this old thing? No the shirts not new by my hair cut is...you like?

I dont get the cheating thing either....it is everywhere!

Sarah Jensen said...

Well, little seems sacred these days. Most find nothing wrong with premarital sex, so it seems like extramarital sex is the next logical step in many minds.

I am with you. This is ridiculous! Those vows weren't just in front of family and friends, they were in front of God.

Thank you for posting this, for taking a stand where many don't.

and thanks to all who agree. See, there are many who still hold to the basic principles of right and wrong.

Pollyanna (formerly the Laughing Idiot) said...

Let me pick my jaw up off my desk. . .


. . .ok, now what the heck is going on here????

I am stunned. And sickened. But not at you, just the ad and the company.

Good grief!

Lori E said...

I am not a religious person and I am also quite liberal but when it comes to fidelity I am a stone wall with not a single crack in it.
There is never, ever an excuse for cheating. Not if you were drunk, not payback, not loneliness. Never. I don't even care if you are married. If you are in a relationship with someone you simply do not cheat.
Rampant cheating is not a new thing by the way. It has been going on in great numbers everywhere for years. It is just now we hear about it all the time. Dirty laundry so to speak.
The fact that a company is "selling" this option is an indicator of our media obsessed lives. You watch the trash and buy the magazines and wonder why it continues. There is a buck to be made and people support it. They promote it on t.v. even if they come across as being shocked by it they still are promoting it by talking about it.
If you are selling something and no one buys it you will quit selling it. Jon and Kate are a waste of skin. Why do we care? Why do you watch it, why do you buy it? Stop feeding these machines.

Single Mama NYC said...

The biggest reason why I'm single.

Amanda @ Serenity Now said...

Wow. That is just plain disgusting!!!

The818 said...

I'm with you. Not cool, Jon. Not cool at all.

Sassy Chica said...

Hello!!!
Checking in from SITS..great post, I concur.

Smooches,
Sassy Chica

Robbie S. Redmon, LPC said...

Umh...

Holly Noelle @ Domestic Dork said...

The only love affair you'll catch me having is with a tall, dark, rich...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
chocolate milkshake.

The Mom @ Babes in Hairland said...

Love Holly's comment above! :) I totally agree -- this world - especially when it comes to family values & relationships really is going to hell in a hand basket. It's so sad that no one values fidelity these day. But we all know there wouldn't be a service out there like that unless people used it -- which is so freakin' sad.

Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

I'm not surprised. It is free thought in America, run amok. It's like, "I can think whatever I want and you can't tell me I'm wrong!!!"

Which is weird because, like you said, in the vows they took themselves, they agree to forsake all others.

I guess that part is open to interpretation...

Happy SITS day!!

Unknown Mami said...

Unfortunately, that's not the only website for that purpose.

Mama Mair said...

Whatever gets you through the night, baby. It's a tough world out there and maybe everyone's not thrilled with their spouse and needs a "friend". It's nothing new. In many cultures it's customary to have a wife and a mistress. Let's just be open minded and not hurt anyone's feelings.

mommy4life said...

ICK! How can businesses do that?!

Andrea said...

Yeah, I feel a little like I missed something, too. And how do people not see that infidelity only hurts everyone who's involved?

BrnEyedGal said...

I think its disgusting as well... I mean whatever happened to, "honey, I don't love you anymore or I want other women...let's get a divorce!"

I would much rather know if my husband wanted to cheat...then I could say...BYE BYE!

And my last thought would be...Why would you want to stay married if you want to cheat with someone else??? I just dont know!

Good post.

Sarah said...

AMEN SITSTA!

Mama Mel said...

I agree with you. I think it is very disturbing and sad. My own father cheated on my mom, and lied about it for over 15 years! Some people just don't get it, I guess...

Jen said...

Wow, that is terrible! I can't believe that there is actually a site for that.

Red Writing said...

That is sick! There is a mentality in the worlds today that everyone should just do whatever it takes to make themselves happy--no matter who they hurt along the way. Such a shame.

Meisha said...

SITS Girl.

Yeah, I heard of this site, and I often "preach" to anyone who listens about this. It is disgusting.

Yaya said...

what?? Now I've heard everything.

the planet of janet said...

amen, sister.

gaelikaa said...

I seriously agree with you. And well done for having the courage to speak out!!

Sophia's Mom said...

I am totally with you on this one! That is unbelievable! WTF??

However, I do have to give them props for their creativity. I wish I would have thought of that! I could work from home and retire by the age of 35!

http://wannabeworkathomemommy.blogspot.com

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