Thursday, March 05, 2009

Just Say No...

1. To the hokey, awkward and canned banter between newscasters during the 5 a.m. broadcast. Stop it. It's freaking 5 a.m. Just give me the news.

2. To close-proximity shoppers. Hey lady, if I'm standing there looking through a section of size-medium shirts, STEP OFF and wait your turn. Stop brushing shoulders with me.

3. To men wearing toggle coats. Just the thought of those masculine hands having to fasten the buckles, err...toggles, cracks me up. (They really are just buckles though.)

4. To Tatiana on American Idol.

5. To warm and sleepy children who crawl in bed with you at the ass crack of dawn in the wee hours of the morn and then proceed to SNORT, SNUFF and SNIFFLE.

6. To wearing brown shoes with black pants.

7. To the Fancy Feast cat food commercials that show close-ups of the brown mushy slop.

8. And while I'm on the subject, to the morons who decide to air male enhancement commercials during Bruins hockey games. Why don't YOU come over to my Trenches and explain, "What's that?" to a 7 year old.

9. AND to the dimwits who air the previews to horror movies during family hours. Why don't YOU come over to my Trenches at 3 a.m. and comfort a child who has had a nightmare about "dat scary fing on da TV."

10. To drivers who leave their turn signals on. For miles.

What's yours?


Mrs. Schmitty said...

Mine? All of the

To snow.
To being handed a booger two seconds ago.
To an empty box of tissues.


Lynette3boys said...

These are great! Especially #4 - ugh! I may just have to create my own list and link back to you.

Unknown said...

amen to the tatiana comment


Hillary (Mrs. Einstein) said...

To building a retirement apartment complex across the street from the high school. The crazy teenage drivers are mingling with the slow, old drivers. Grr!

Jenni said...

Why, Why, WHY did this bring Tatiana back???

Anonymous said...

Um, how about this? If I ever meet you, I'll just make sure I don't wear brown shoes with black pants THEN, okay?

Cuz, um, well, um. Yeah.

Mrs. Fabulous said...

Oh, girls I was SO pissed at Tatiana! She should have sacked up and congratulated the other girl. Instead, she used it as her own dramatic moment. I was truly embarrassed for her. What a nutcase!

Great post, S!

Banteringblonde said...

to being totally traumatized...

Anonymous said...

to those people who saunter, yes saunter as though they are in the park on a sunny afternoon, through the crosswalk while you are waiting at at T-intersection to turn left, because that and right are the only direction that you can go at this intersection and can't hey just speed it up, eh so that more than 1 car on the green and the other on the yellow can make the turn and the 50 bazillion cars behind them can finally have a chance to get home.

whew, that felt better.

(word to wise- do no try to leave work at the same time the high school gets out. Those 15 minutes that you thought you had from leaving early - you just spend them sitting in your car watching the gas burn)

Patois42 said...

To the owner of the jumpy dog who tells the afraid-of-dog kid, "Oh, the dog just wants to see you": and this fist just wants to punch you.

Major Bedhead said...

To people who write would of/could of/should of instead of have. It's WRONG, ok, and it makes me want to tear my hair out.

To a foot of snow in March.

To my dog eating the cat's litter box contents.

To Yo Gabba Gabba.

I'm going to stop now because my head may explode if I keep going. There are so. many. things.

Putting the FUN in DysFUNctional said...

Amen! Especially #8 and #9!

Putting the FUN in DysFUNctional said...

Oh, I just saw that I get to do mine!
~arguing kids
~skin tight shirts on a HUGE muffin top
~the medicine I'm currently taking which makes me drowsy AND nauseous!

Chris said...

That was a great list. And so were the ones in your comments.

O's Working Mommy said...

Amen sista...
Seriously those VIAGRA commercials come on during a NASCAR race in the middle of the afternoon.
My 3 year old "viva viagra, viva viagra" she sang that last Sunday.

Bub bye Tatiana ... I want to biotch slap her.

Ummm say NO to ...
The eyebrows on American Idol
Jorge and Anoop they need a good manscaping. Can you say fuzzy caterpillers


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