2. To close-proximity shoppers. Hey lady, if I'm standing there looking through a section of size-medium shirts, STEP OFF and wait your turn. Stop brushing shoulders with me.
3. To men wearing toggle coats. Just the thought of those masculine hands having to fasten the buckles, err...toggles, cracks me up. (They really are just buckles though.)
4. To Tatiana on American Idol.
5. To warm and sleepy children who crawl in bed with you
6. To wearing brown shoes with black pants.
7. To the Fancy Feast cat food commercials that show close-ups of the brown mushy slop.
8. And while I'm on the subject, to the morons who decide to air male enhancement commercials during Bruins hockey games. Why don't YOU come over to my Trenches and explain, "What's that?" to a 7 year old.
9. AND to the dimwits who air the previews to horror movies during family hours. Why don't YOU come over to my Trenches at 3 a.m. and comfort a child who has had a nightmare about "dat scary fing on da TV."
10. To drivers who leave their turn signals on. For miles.