Thursday, February 12, 2009

Just Like Night and Day

"What we've got here is a failure to communicate."

I am a morning person.

When my bedside alarm goes off (at 4:45 a.m. on weekdays), I immediately turn it off and hop outta bed. No snooze button here. I'm ready to start my day! Bring it on, world! Yee haw!

On the opposite end of the spectrum is Hubby. His bedside clock is set 10 minutes ahead of the actual time. On purpose. And when his alarm goes off..........


For a good 10 seconds. Until he groans, unburies his arm from under the blankets, and slaps haphazardly in the general vicinity of his snooze button.

He does this multiple times.

When he finally does arise, he stumbles around. He grunts. He farts. He squints his eyes as if the mere light of day is harming his retinas. Nothing articulate leaves his lips for about the first 30 minutes. Until he has coffee.

[Disclaimer: Except if he happens to have an early golf tee time. Then? He's raring to go. No snooze button that morning - there's golfing to be done!]

[Funny how that works, huh?]

So you can just imagine the disconnect when we, well I, attempt to interact.

I fire off questions at him because hello? I've been AWAKE already for over an hour, which is plenty o' time to mentally run through our lives, our schedules, our day-to-day household stuff.

"Did you sign Eldest up for camp?"
"Do we need to change our withholdings? What did the accountant say?"
"Make sure you tell your mom that the boyz are NOT to play with the Wii Fit."
"Oh, and ask her if she wants to go to Disney on Ice." (Since Eldest firmly declared it was a show "for babies".)
"What's for dinner?"

If I'm lucky, I may get a head nod or two. That's about it.

And then I head out the door to work. Where Hubby and I maybe communicate via quick e-mails or phone calls a couple of times a day.

In the evenings? I. am. mush. I'm tired. I'm hungry. I just want to put on my pjs and bury myself in bed.

I'm the one who's moaning and groaning. In between yawning, that is.

I have no desire to talk about anything.

Thus, the (lack of) communication dilemma.

(And for the record? Eldest is like me - awake and eager most mornings. Middle is Hubby reincarnated. He needs a good half hour to sit with his thumb and blankie and chill out. And then there's Baby - Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Happy some mornings and positively evil some others.)

Anyway, I'm thinking perhaps Hubby and I should just schedule a noon conference call each day. With an agenda of Matters to Discuss. (I would be the Chairwoman, of course. And I would insist on holding a gavel.)

So tell me. Are you a morning or evening person? What about your spouse?


In (Not So) Perfect Balance said...

Hi. Hubby is morning (wakes up singing, giggling). He is ANNOYINGLY happy. I am the snooze button (at least 4 times) girl. I do not discuss important matters until AFTER a shower. Sometimes, AFTER coffee too. They say, opposites attract. :o)

Anonymous said...

Ha ha ha. I am LOL!!!! EXACTLY the same in mi casa, just reversed. We should swap spouses.

Shanna said...

My husband is a morning person. He wakes up happy and ready to hold full conversations. No matter what time I wake up, I need time to myself before I want to interact with anyone! I have gotten much better (no more growling most days) since the boys came along. So far, we have one of each in our children. Our first is just like me so I deal with him most mornings, the second is just like hubby. I wonder what our third will be like?!?

Marie said...

I am a morning person much like you. DH takes a half hour to get up then another 30 to 45 minutes and a half pot of coffe to get motivated to get into the shower. This drives me insane.

Amy said...

Spouse can be fully functional on a remarkably small amount of sleep. So little is required that I actually don't know if he's a morning or an evening person. Cause I'm asleep in either case.

But I'm violently not a morning person. I wish I was, but I'm all about the snooze button.

Patois42 said...

Totally a morning person, but I've started taking meds that have whacked my sleep cycles. Now I don't even think I'm a person at any time.

iheartchocolate said...

My husband is morning and somehow wakes up happy. It's slightly irritating. I am the opposite. Don't even try to talk to me or anything for at least 40 minutes after much coffee. Groggy, stumbling, eyes still shut on the toilet type. We communicate via many texts and I handle most of the family management so I don't have to talk to him about that stuff. Sometimes I say, did you go to the post office? He usually remembers the small tasks assigned to him. Somtimes no, but all in all-pretty dependable.

Little Miss Sunshine State said...

Hubster is a morning person.He gets up and is ready for work in 15min, feeds the cat, makes coffee and his lunch, throws in some laundry, brings in the paper and is out the door 45 minutes after his alarm goes off.

I can't function much before noon.
I get up around 9:30 and sit and stare and drink coffee and chat with my best friend and read the paper.
My brothers and sister are exactly like me. My sister loves working 3-11 shifts and I am chipper right up until 1 AM.
Last night I was baking at 11:30pm.

Stacey said...

I would be your hubby ...maybe except for the farting hubby takes care of that

Mrs. Fabulous said...

Such a funny post! I'm the "snooze slapper". I hit that thing about 3 times every morning. Hubby is up the instant that it goes off. Pisses me off...

:>) Thanks for the laugh!

Putting the FUN in DysFUNctional said...

Holy crap, seriously? 4:45 am and you are THAT cheery?
I can't even fathom it.
I am a total night person, so much so that I work night shift. I loathe mornings.
Hubby is a morning person. Poor thing has such a hard time getting me up on the weekends!

O's Working Mommy said...

We hit the snooze about 2-3 times. Neither of us are morning people, we barely talk.
Even Munchkin hates mornings.
Good Times in our house.

Hubby and I usually chat about 9:00am after we've had coffee.

Amyland said...

so funny....i love the cross-out effect.
if you were my wife i'd shoot you. no sane person is up before 9 am unless they have to be. cheers to hubby and middle.

Chris said...

Neither of us are morning people. But I'm capable of getting up when my alarm goes off. He, on the other hand, does the 18 hits to the snooze. Have you by chance ever heard of a Screamin' Meanie? That's his alarm!! And it's 10 times louder than any smoke detector. Some mornings I feel like shoving it straight up his butt just to muffle the sound.

Anonymous said...

Me? Total night owl.

DH? Practically chirps in the morning (eeww).

No communication here.

Jaime said...

Me? I'm a don't wake me up til I am damn ready to get up kinda gal. Now hubby on the other hand gets up when I tell him he needs to get up. Kids wake me up (sorta), I reach over and whack him in the head and fall quickly back into dreamland!

He is my snooze button because unfortunatley those little suckers you carry around for 9 mths don't come equipped w/ one...oh but they should!


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