I received a $50 gift certificate to Victoria's Secret for Christmas. From my mom.
So I got on their website, thinking that I would probably use it to buygranny panties a sexy bra.
And that's when I noticed that their 2009 "swimwear" line is out:
So I got on their website, thinking that I would probably use it to buy
And that's when I noticed that their 2009 "swimwear" line is out:
Methinks this swimsuit's tan lines would make you look like you were sporting a second navel.
The J.Lo swimsuit. Indecent exposure most likely to occur. But hey, a great swimsuit for breastfeeding!
The Attacked By a Shark Swimsuit. 
The I Wanna Be a Caveman Swimsuit. Alternately titled: The Swimsuit With the Strap For No Reason.
Again, wonky tan lines. In the form of a penis shape pointing down towards your crotch.
This poor model looks like she's contracted a bad yeast infection from this particular swimsuit.
This would be a GREAT maternity swimsuit, don't you think? 
And last but not least, Victoria's Secret introduces the "stomach thong".
23 comments:
hysterical and sad
Swimsuits like these make me glad I don't have a model's body.
I love your names for them!! Hilarious! My husband actually tried to get me to buy a suit almost exactly like the "Attacked By a Shark Swimsuit" with pink on it, last summer at Victoria's Secret. I laughed at him. I might have little boobs but I'm still quite certain that they would pop out the sides in that suit.
Amazing.. bathing suits that can make the world's most stunningly beautiful and perfect women look awkward and uncomfortable.
Way to boost sales VS your going to sell a lot of those!
I TRIPLE DOG DARE anyone to wear any one of those the the neighborhood pool!
Good golly - they don't even look attractive on the models, how could they POSSIBLY look good on me???
We just got back from the Carribbean, and I totally expected to see stuff like this, but everyone we saw on the beach was really really NORMAL. Well, everyone except the topless grandma (oh yes she was).
Ha! You're right, these swimsuits are bizarre.
Sarah-This was hysterical. You are crackin me up this week.
Hysterical!!
Thanks for making me feel better about my tankini (the official bathing suit of real mommies everywhere).
Ah yes...Victoria's Secret. Making regular women feel bad about their bodies since the 1990s...
I gotta say, I LOVE their bra's (it's all I own except for a few recent nursing bra purchases) and I have a few pieces of lingere from bridal showers. But their clothing line has always seemed a little trashy to me.
LMAO @ the penis & yeast infection suits. You're hilarious!
LOL, I love your descriptions!
My goodness, those suits don't even look good on the 90 lb models, what would they look like with a real woman in them?
I work there and know they are having a huge semi-annual sale right now and have tons of bras for 15 bucks and panties for 2.99! It was all reduced more but you have to hurry because they are going fast and the sale ends soon too. Also, their beauty products are on sale and you can get tons of delicious smelling stuff for little $$!
Don't do it online, go in to the store woman-GO!
Oh man....
I wonder what the other moms at the pool would think if someone walked in wearing one of those. LOL.
lol! the insanely gifted award goes to you! :))
btw, i added u up in my blogroll
Has anyone ever seen a person wearing these in real life?!
In my wildest dreams.
I think the "stomach thong" is cute
AHAHAHA... That pregnant one? Also works if you've got a beer belly. Nice. I'll take 2. (because I also need the penis one...you know? who doesn't need a penis tan line?)
love your comments on the suits!!!
here from The Bean
I would seriously go naked at the beach before wearing any of those monstrosities which are labeled "swim suits." Maybe VS needs to appropriately label that section "my crazy ass boyfriend/husband wants to F me in these ridiculous suits." Cause there's just no swimming about them...
Beej sent me, and she was right to do so.
I'm trying to imagine the pyroclastic flow that would result from cramming my huge butt into one of those balloon shreds. It would NOT be pretty.
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