I heard an advertisement on the radio touting "a great gift for that special someone".
It was for an at-home massage. Meaning you can hire this company to provide you with someone (a masseur) to give you a massage in the comfort of your very own home!
Uh...I'm thinking that there's NO MARKET in this for frazzled mothers.
Isn't the whole point of getting a massage SERENITY???
The peaceful music, the dim lights, the BEING AWAY FROM IT ALL???
Picture it: The massage table is set up. In your messy living room. You're laying there covered in only a sheet. You stick your forehead on the little donut hole and the first thing you see? Crumbs. Oh, and the missing Matchbox car your little one has been whining about for a week.
Your massage begins. But the background noise isn't soft tinkling music, it's SpongeBob blaring on the TV.
The lights aren't dim because it's the middle of the day.
There are no lit candles because hello? Fire hazard to young children.
Just as you're drifting off, your preschooler comes up to you and taps you on the head, wanting a snack. So you listlessly point at the Cheerio crumbs you spotted on the floor.
Is this not doing it for you? Yeah, me neither.
Thanks, but no thanks.