Saturday, December 06, 2008

A Letter To My Dentist


Dear Dentist,

Thank you for accommodating the Trenches family. It was so kind of you to book all five of us from 9:00-11:00 this morning so that we could all experience the joy of your dental chair. I can't think of a better way to spend a Saturday morning. Especially around the holidays, when there's hardly any other stuff that need to be done.

I must apologize for my breath this morning. You see, I had a meetup with The Girls last night, and it was the first time all 6 of us had been together since Myrtle Beach. Needless to say, drinking (of alcoholic beverages) was involved. I attempted to mask the noxious morningbreath fumes with mouthwash, and then gum, but I'm pretty sure you weren't fooled. Thankfully (for you) you wear that mask that covers your nostrils.

Eldest's new cavity? Totally blame his father. He's the one who buys him the Hubba Bubba NON-SUGARLESS gum.

And Middle and Baby's thumb-sucking? I KNOW. They need to stop. Perhaps you would like to come visit the Trenches and enforce the "no thumb-sucking" rule, Mr. Dentist? I guarantee you it's easier said than done. We're fully aware that we will be paying out the ass for orthodontia.

Thank you for offering "prizes" to the boyz when they were done with their "teeth tickling". However, it wasn't necessary for you to allow them free reign over the prize drawer. I now have 3 fake worms, 2 pretend cell phones and 2 bouncy balls that will probably definitely end up in the trash.

See you again in 6 months!

Sarah and her Trenches family

P.S. When you asked me if I flossed daily? Uh, I totally lied. But I did floss last night when I realized our appointment was today.

5 comments:

Missives From Suburbia said...

Don't we all lie about flossing?

Judy said...

Mmmkay - you do realize that the fact that your dentist has Saturday hours means she/he totally rocks, no matter what?

Mine doesn't even have FRIDAY hours, much less anything on the weekend.

Natalie said...

I always tell the dentist I floss almost daily. It's actually more like barely monthly. I'm lucky if I get to brush my teeth every day.
And don't worry about the thumb sucking. I had one who sucked his thumb until almost first grade. We thought he was going to need braces, but it was more for crowding than anything. His teeth are fine. The middle one who took a pacifier until he was 2 has the teeth of a thumb sucker.
Go figure!

ris said...

LOL! My kids go on the last day of the year. I've definitely had my battles w/ the dentist! I can definitely relate!

I can also relate to the crazy, limited hours of the dentist - like another commenter mentioned! I can scarcely get an appt for my kids w/o battling w/ the receptionist so my kids dont have to miss school.

I am one of those former thumb-sucking kids who definitely needed braces. Plus, malaclusion (sp) genetics didnt help my case either. Now my teeth seem to be migrating again. Sigh.

I keep battling w/ my kids' dentist over braces for my oldest. At least for the past two yrs. They dont like me much up there b/c I think her teeth are fine. They are straight. What more could you want?? lol

Anyway, it's good to see I'm not the only one w/ dentist issues!

Patois said...

My youngest stress pukes at the dentist nearly every time. The times he doesn't, he must get a dozen pieces of crap from the prize drawer.

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