Monday, November 03, 2008

Poop and Pee

All 3 of my boyz are potty-trained. And have been for quite some time. For this I am immensely thankful.


That's not to say that we don't still have, uh, "issues" here in the Trenches. Because we do.

Eldest? Wets himself. But only on Sunday mornings.

(Pondering that one, are ya?)

Football games are on Sunday mornings. Involving special underwear with a protective cup (you haven't lived until you've had a 7 year old come up to you with one of those on, thrust his pelvis out and say, "Here Mom - hit me! It won't hurt!" and then knock-knock-knock with his wrapped fist on his dingaling area.), biker shorts with protective pads, and then football pants on top with even MORE protective padding. Football pants that are laced up and then double or triple-knotted.

Yeah. So I kinda don't blame the kid for just pissing in his drawers instead of going through the rigamarole of undressing and then re-dressing.

[Rigamarole is a severely underutilized word, don't you think? It reminds me of a casserole. Yummm...pass me some of that rigamarole casserole. Hey, casserole is another one!]

[Someone please stop me.]

And every Sunday, without fail, he discretely hides his sopping football unders in his laundry basket. And every Sunday, without fail, when we ask him why they're wet, he shrugs his shoulders and responds, "It's probably just sweat."

And then there's Baby. Baby, who at age 3, has been potty-trained since February. (Through no effort on my part though, mind you. Remember, he has 2 older brothers.)

Baby's latest? He STRIPS HIMSELF COMPLETELY NAKED before sitting on the potty to make a "deposit". Even the socks must come off.

I can't count the number of times I've seen a trail of clothing strewn haphazardly in a path leading to the throne. And there's naked Baby, grunting sitting proudly.

Which is fine, but then comes the process of entirely re-dressing. Needless to say, usually at least one item of clothing adorning Baby is either backwards or inside-out. Sometimes both.

Can you imagine if we all did this?

You'd walk into the ladies room and see bare feet underneath the stalls. With business suits and stockings draped across the top of the stall doors. Heh. (And I have a 5th grade mentality.)

Or you're at home, doing your business, and the phone or the doorbell rings. Instead of just deftly pulling up your pants, you'd have to completely re-dress yourself first. While the phone/doorbell keeps ringing...and ringing... (Okay, maybe 4th grade.)


Each and every time Baby gets nekkid, as his mother, I feel compelled to inform him, "You know, kiddo, you could JUST PULL DOWN YOUR PANTS AND UNDERWEAR INSTEAD. It's a lot easier."

And each and every time, he shrugs his shoulders and responds, "I wike doin' it 'dis way, Momma. I be's naked to do poops."

Alrighty then...


Mrs. Schmitty said...

My youngest son strips does his dad...I just don't get it. To each their own, I guess.

Shasta said...

I'm cracking up at "I be's naked to do poops"!! That is too cute!!

My middle son doesn't quite go to that extreme, but he still has to be naked from the waist down, he keeps his shirt on. This makes it very difficult if we are out somewhere and we have to strip off his pants, underwear and shoes just for him to poop. I can just imagine your fun, even the socks! haha I hope this is something they outgrow....soon.

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure professional football players wet themselves too. Seriously, who's going to take all that stuff off just to pee?

And our 3yo strips to do any kind of bathroom business. But, he doesn't put one stitch of clothing back on. He'd prefer au naturale. So, every single time I have to fight him to put something back on. Usually I only get him back in his unders.

Patois42 said...

I do kind of relish the thought of the professional football players all wetting themselves. Kind of makes me want to watch American football.

Shanna said...

both of my boys strip down to poop. Youngest one gets even the socks off and usually ends up putting his underwear back on backwards resulting in a wedgie he likes to discuss with anyone!

Staci said...

My 3 year old also has to be naked to do his business! :) We are just getting to where he will pee with a shirt on... I feel like I dress him ALL day long! :)

Anonymous said...

My 5 year old also strips when he has to poop, but fortunately he only does it at home and he doesn't always re-dress himself afterwards. So, when he asks (2 hours later) where his shoes are we can pretty confidently reply, "Did you check the bathroom floor?" LOL! ~Kellie

Whirlwind said...

Some people (no names) in my house strip to make their deposits as well. I gave up telling them to stay dressed as they mimic an adult (not me) who likes to be naked to do his business.

This Mom said...

My 3 year old (will be 4 in a fews weeks) has only just resently stop stripping from the waist down to do poops. So there is hope on that front.

Anonymous said...

I suppose I have lived, according to you! My 6 yo was thrilled to death when he got his first cup for karate and walked around for days thrusting himself at us saying "Hit me in the goods!"

Funny stuff...

Unknown said...

Cindy-Lu strips to poo too. Then again, she's always nekkid. Like always. "I wanna run naked" is her motto.

Jenni said...

We had a third grader at school last year who needed to stip down to go. It was very random!

workout mommy said...

ok, I can't seem to potty train my kid at all and now I'm wondering if he just needs to be nekkid? :)

Paula Reece said...

Boy #3 insists I come to the bathroom each and every time he goes (even though he is now FOUR and goes by himself at daycare). "WATCH ME!!!!" he'll whine until I finally give in and take my place that's been saved for me in the bathroom. I'm sure when he's 14 and doesn't want me anywhere NEAR him, I'll miss this bathroom bonding...

In (Not So) Perfect Balance said...

Hee, hee, hee. I just lol!

Simply AnonyMom said...

My 4 1/2 yr old has to be naked too! I got a letter home from his preschool (at the local elementary school) over their concern about this. You see in the AM he dresses and then when he goes potty (both pee and poo) he strips naked. WHen he finishes he refuses to put the same onderwear on so at school he would carry his undies around until they would allow him access to his backpack.

My 3 1/2 yr old daughter feels the need to strip also UNLESS she is in a dress. I don't get it. Oh well!


Missives From Suburbia said...

LOL! Well, I have to say that Baby's approach is the one I'd prefer, too, if I had my druthers. It's so much more comfortable to just hang out au naturel with a good magazine then worry about your pants on the bathroom floor (that you KNOW your husband has peed on).

I'd also be lying if I didn't say that today at the movie theater, 35 weeks pregnant, I eyed my kid's diaper jealously as I went to the bathroom for the second time just as the previews were winding down.


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