Wednesday, October 22, 2008

He Said, She Said* Edited to Add Something HE SAID*

Subject: My Desire

Me: I really want to have a maid come once a week.

Him: We already have one. You see her every day in the mirror. Same for me.

(He totally saved his ass with that third sentence. But.....dammit.)

*****
Time to ask my peeps:

Hubby insists that all 3 boyz should be bathed and shampooed EVERY NIGHT. I say, meh, every other night is fine enough. So some nights, I just throw them in the bath or shower, and then run around, trying to get stuff done upstairs (picking out pjs and the next days' clothes, ironing, etc.) instead of hovering over them, shampooing hair, scrubbing twigs and berries and getting soaked in the process. Plus, Baby has terrible skin. And it only gets worse in the colder months. So the less he's soaped up, the better it is for his eczema prone little body. And besides all that? THEY'RE NOT EVEN DIRTY.

Last night he came downstairs and said, "Can I ask you a question?" (which is always his lead-in when he's going to criticize.)

I shrugged.

"Do you use soap when you shower?"

Me: "Of course."

"So why don't you use it on the boyz? It only takes 2 seconds."

Me: "Go for it."

So what say you? Do you bathe and shampoo and scrub your children every single night? Or do you, like me, sometimes just let them PLAY in the tub without getting all Mr. Clean on their asses?

(While I'm quite positive this won't change Hubby's opinion on the matter, it will open his eyes to the fact that I'm not the only one who thinks that preschoolers don't require daily scrubdowns. It's not like they're walking around looking like Pigpen.)

*Hubby wanted me to clarify after reading all your comments which totally sided with me like I knew they would: Here's his e-mail:

"My point was that if you’re GOING to put them in the bath…WASH THEM! You don’t. Don’t 1. Waste the water and 2. Let them sloth around in their own filth."

And again, like I said, it's not like they're DISGUSTING. So there ISN'T FILTH (and he calls ME dramatic!). And I don't consider it wasting water when 1. they're confined in one spot; 2. they're playing nicely; and 3. I can get my stuff done in the process.

So there.

41 comments:

Whirlwind said...

My girls bathe 2-3 times a week, unless they are really dirty or it's a special event.

Dorene said...

We do baths every other-ish night. My daughter also has skin issues and gets super dry in the winter. Throwing the kids in the tub every other night works great for us (and we have been known to push the bath out just one more night on crazy days).

A Buns Life said...

EVERY night? Seriously? We do in the summer, but definitely not once they are not playing outside every waking minute....in the colder months it is like 3x a week and with eczema they are not supposed to have more than 2 baths a week in the cold months, so our dermatologist told us, but maybe Olivia's is worse than baby's.....if they are in the tub every night, no I would not be scrubbing them down every single night.

Kimberlie Rose said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Liza said...

Thank GOD others responded that they do it 2-3 times a week because I wasn't going to admit that myself ;) Honestly, I shoot for every other night but it rarely happens. I'd say 3x's a week is probably more realistic. And if hubby doesn't like it, tell him he is welcome to do the job every night like I tell mine when he complains about something!

P.S. I am SO with you on the Maid thing. And hubby is SO not with me either on it. *sigh*

Staci said...

In the summer they get baths every night unless it was a super crazy day. (They are outside all the time and filthy in the summer) When the colder weatherc oomes, every other day for sure!

MoxieMamaKC said...

You pick your battles. There are some nights that a bubble bath will do. Especially in the winter with toddler dry skin and ear infections.

AmyG said...

Nope, we only do baths 2-3 times a week. My oldest has really dry skin, like me, and can't handle a bath every night. And my youngest doesn't get dirty much, so there is no point in them being scrubbed every night.

T with Honey said...

Princess gets a bath or shower 2, maybe 3 times each week. The rest of the time I wipe her down with a wet wash cloth before bed. That's it.

Otherwise her hair and skin dries out and itches like crazy.

3XMom said...

We are 2-3 times a week too. Every day is crazy!!! ;)

catnip said...

Every other day, sometimes a day or so longer if it's the weekend and I just don't care! Heck no - I don't soap him up - put some bubbles in the tub and let him soak off the grime.

Your hubby needs to do it himself if he wants it done everyday. ;)

Mayberry said...

Oh gosh no. Even in summer, it's typically every other day; in winter, every 2nd or 3rd day depending on what else is going on.

And if you both work full time, I'd say a maid is an investment in your mental health and marriage! It is for me!

Candace said...

At the risk of child services reading this and taking my kids away... My daughter is on day 4 of no BATH! It's been a very busy few days and I haven't been up for the bathtime battle. Since the hubs works nights, it's sort of been our little secret....:) Just think how clean she'll look when I finally do wash her! Today, I swear!

Natalie said...

My 3 year old gets bathed every other night unless it's summer & she's particularly dirty.
The boys are 9 & 11 & bathe EVERY night b/c they're boys. They get sweaty just sitting there. Plus, the oldest plays football so he HAS to take a shower after practice. He also has eczema. I've been using Cetaphil soap & Lotion since he was a toddler & it has really helped keep it under control. (the walmart version works just as well)

Melizzard said...

3 closer to 2 times a week definetly and I just throw some bubble bath in there and consider that soap most times.

More, More, More said...

With sports they pretty much take showers (with soap) every night. If they don't have sports then I let them take a night off. I don't soap them down - I trust that they will do this themselves with baby soap so I don't have to worry about the soap in their eyes. Mine are 6 and 8 -- old enough to bathe themselves.

And... you need a maid if only once a month. It's well worth the $100-$200 a month!!

Not the Queen said...

You're way ahead of me; mine don't even get in the water every night. I figure that they're not pubescent, so they're not sweating a lot (or even at all), they aren't secreting copious amounts of oil, and they don't constantly stink. I'm a 2-4 times a week kind of mom. When I do bathe them, though, they get the full treatment: soap and shampoo.

Anonymous said...

me thinks hubby wants your boys to look as neat as his garage:) I can think of other things my husband would be more interested in every night than the kids baths but nothing happens that frequently in my house!!!

Patois said...

Never bothered soaping and shampooing every night. They're older now. The 11-year-old lad showers every morning. The 10-year-old girl bathes a few times a week. The 6-year-old boy does maybe two times a week. But I rarely shampoo either of the younger kids' hair. (I don't shampoo my own more than once a week, though I do wet it every day when I shower.) Their hair is still fine and dandy. And I don't soap them up more than once a week. They scrub with water and washcloth regularly. And they still look fine and dandy and smell delicious.

Sorry for the long comment. Bad me.

Feener said...

i use to do every other night and then it was just too much, so i try to do that but really - they have gone a full week with out a bath and they are dirty little critters BUT really they are kids, the dirt will not kill them.

in disney, my younger one refused to let us bath her and even worse she would not change her outfit, she wore a minnie mouse dress stained and all for 48 hours.....but she was happy -

Chaotic Joy said...

HA HA HA HA HA! I once wrote a post over at Worst Mama about how I sent my kid to school with the same oatmeal in his hair two days in a row. Seriously.

So yeah, we fall into the 2-3 times a week category here. Or when they start to stink. :) Sorry Trenches Dad.

azusmom said...

It's every other day for us, as well, unless they're particularly dirty, or went swimming and need to get the chlorine out.
I have been known to put them in the tub with some bubbles and not do a full scrub.

carrie said...

We scrub and do hair one night, and the next night I do the same thing you do - run around and do chores while they play. They still get the calming effects of a bath, and I get a little chance to play catch up. We are all happy.

And they aren't really dirty - so they aren't really sitting in filth...well, that is how I like to look at it! :-)

Sorry, Trenches Dad. :-)

Chicky Chicky Baby said...

Every night? All the kids?? Again, EVERY NIGHT????


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Do baby wipe baths count?

Christine said...

My hubby, like yours, feels that they need to shower every single night. But, since I am the working mom that does the dr appts and he can never attend, I may have stretched the truth and suggested that the pediatrician said to bath him every other night. Since he too has super dry and eczema prone skin.... Hubby hasn't questioned it yet. I learned early to throw in the ped card. Shh...

Ladybug's Picnic said...

I give both girls a bath every single night, not because they're dirty but because it's part of the bedtime routine - dinner, baths, bottle (for Claire), music and bed. But like you, my kids both have dry skin so they don't get a serious soaping unless really necessary (every few days or so). I wash and condition Charlotte's hair every night though because it's a rat's nest.

Jenni Jiggety said...

We do 2-3 times a week unless someone gets smelly earlier than that! They usually shower these days and are fully in charge of scrubbing all of their parts!

katesaid said...

I submerge the children in the tub - sometimes with water, even - every night, because I want the break from them.

We shampoo roughly three times a week.

We keep soap and body wash to a minimum to prevent dry skin.

I wash their hair when it smells weird.

Kris said...

Every other night (except in the summer) Sorry hubby!
Our cleaners come every other week. Sooooo worth it!!!

In (Not So) Perfect Balance said...

Baths- Mom knows best.
They don't need everyday unless they are dirty or smelly. Not good for that baby skin. Every other (for the scrubdown) is just dandy.

Sidenote (2cents)-
It is actually GOOD for eczema to soak in tub (less the scrubdown)...aka swim around. It takes away the irritants WITHOUT drying out. So NOT a waste of water if it improves baby's fun and mom's sanity.

Maids-
Oooooo, he is lucky. I would have broken a mirror on that comment if I were you!

MB :o)

Susan (5 Minutes For Mom) said...

I think it is good to alternate days for shampoo or even every 3 days... it dries out their hair I think.

I often bath every other day... but I also often just let them play in the water without any soap.

Life As I Know It said...

During the colder months (i.e. now through May) they get a bath every other or even every 3rd night. During the summer it's every night to wash the sunscreen and bug spray off.

moosh in indy. said...

If they don't stink or have bugs on them water is just fine.
Get those little pre soaped johnson's washcloths that they can wash themselves with if it's that important to him.
Or he could just do it himself, whatever. ;)

Michelle said...

Okay I have to admit I do baths everynight....with shampoo. But I totally don't think it is a big deal if it's not done EVERY night.

marathon mom said...

3 boys? My heart goes out to you.

My girls are 5 and 8 and by now it is high time they take a bath every day and wash their hair. They inherited dermatitis from their dad, so they should every day.

But when they were smaller, I couldn't handle the knock down drag outs that regularly. And if they got in the tub with some bubbles for a soak, that was just fine.

Same for your boys. Sounds like they are old enough to know what soap is.

Colleen said...

If your kids are in the tub every night you're way ahead of me. Zoe gets bathed every other night... usually. Sometimes not even that much. If she looks dirty or her hair looks like it needs a wash she gets a bath. If she gets in the tub she gets shampooed. Ana has probably had a dozen baths in her whole 3 months of life... all with baby wash because I love the smell... not because I think she needs soap.

Maureen said...

I'm with you.

Anonymous said...

Every Wednesday and Sunday night, 5 year old girl and 8 1/2 year old boy. Summers if they were in the pool I count it as a bath. REALLY !!! If boy is gross or visibly dirty, he gets a shower. If girl has a smelly "area" or messy poop, quick bath. But the bath days are midweek and Sunday before school and as needed.

wrongshoes said...

My DS (3.5) gets a bath about once a week, unless he rolls around in the dirt or something like that. We wash his hands frequently, and wipe down his face if necessary. He also gets a good butt wiping every time he poops. Often his bath does not include soap at all. Water does a great job of cleaning all by itself.

And he seems clean!

Demand More said...

Your going to think I am so gross but, no. My boys have horrible skin, HORRIBLE. One of them infact has such bad skin that we use aloe wetwipes every other night and only give him an official shower once a week. the other can usually handle 2 times a week but still has severe outbreaks from it. It is so bad that I now make their soap just so I know what is in it. Ugh. SO no, I most def do not give them enough baths.

Not Afraid to Use It said...

We try to do it on a school night because they get so nasty grubby at preschool. Otherwise, every other day at the MOST. Their skin is just too sensitive to do it more often.

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