At the time, though, you feel as like you are muddling through quicksand, both mentally and physically.
The feeding schedule. The diaper changes.
The crying. And crying. And crying. (Both you and baby.)
Within this past week, Catherine at Her Bad Mother and Tania at Chicky Chicky Baby have both written about their exhaustion, their frustrations, and their struggles.
Reading their posts brought back memories for me that I thought I had long ago
Wearing a bracelet when I was nursing Eldest, and switching it to the opposite wrist after each feeding, so I would know which breast to offer for the next feeding because I was always too groggy to think. Writing down everything (because he was my first). Remembering the thrill when he slept from 11pm-4am and I was able to get 5 hours of sleep at a stretch. Amazed at the capacity of my body to endure without sleep.
With Middle: The god-awful crying. The colic. And reflux. Quitting breast-feeding cold turkey after 3 weeks of constant frustration. Never being able to eat dinner without him screaming. The wit's end. And finding out I was pregnant again.
With Baby: Trying to manage a household with an almost-4 year old, a 1 year old and a newborn. The aching tiredness - just being so tired that it hurt. The sense of failure. The sense of struggling. Feeling constantly overwhelmed.
Only now, 3 years later, am I finally able to reflect back and realize: I MADE IT THROUGH.
There are no tricks or magic to offer up. There is no hidden secret. You simply continue to trudge through that quicksand.
"People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one." -- Leo J. Burke