Friday, September 26, 2008

It Wasn't Funny At The Time, But It Kinda Is Now. *Oh, and Contest Winner Announced

I never had a regular menstrual cycle in my life (thus the bouts of fertility treatments to conceive Eldest and Middle). That is, until I unintentionally got pregnant on exactly Day 14 (open bar wedding in Connecticut - our first night away from a colicky infant. 'Nuff said.) after my first period occurred a mere 3 months after giving birth to Middle in 2004.


So Baby was born 12-1/2 months after Middle in June 2005. And then Hubby got snipped in January 2006. No more whoopie whoopsies in the Trenches, that's fer sure.

Since then, my cycle has pretty much been every 28 days on the dot.

Until this past month.

Day 28 came, and then went.

And then another day.

I never mentioned anything to Hubby, because I KNEW he would FREAK THE F*CK OUT. And immediately accuse me of cheating on him. Heh.

Meanwhile, Hubby was starting to make travel arrangements for his yearly business conference - the one that I am to attend with him in Palm Springs in November.

One day while we were both at work, we discussed the logistics of the upcoming trip and decided on our arrival and departure times. Hubby was going to get off the phone with me to call and make the plane reservations.

As soon as we hung up, it hit me like a brick in the face:

I STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN MY PERIOD. WHAT IF I'M PREGNANT? (If so, I definitely wouldn't want to attend the conference. It's all schmoozing and boozing, of which I only excel at one.)

Mind you, Hubby has been snipped for OVER 2 YEARS NOW. And although we're farrrrrrrr from rabbits (hello? 3 children? working full-time? Momma needs sleep-ie.), my concern was valid. Ish.

So I quickly called Hubby back, and made his secretary interrupt him WHILE HE WAS IN THE MIDST of making our flight reservations.

He got on the line and snapped, "What? I'm in the middle of booking our tickets."


Him: [dead silence]

Me: "SoI'llcallyarightbackok? I'mjustgonnarunacrossthestreettoCVSandbuyatestandthenpeeonastick."

Him: [dead silence]

So I did just that. Left work, bought a $10.00 pregnancy test, took it back to work, sat in a stall, and peed on a stick.


Of course it was! Silly Sarah.

Then I had to call Hubby back. Gulp.

Me: "Hi, it's me. We're all set. Go ahead and book those tickets, honey!"

Him: "Ummm...yeah. I'll get right on that. AS SOON AS I PICK MYSELF OFF THE FLOOR, YOU PSYCHO!"

I got my period the next day.

Of course I did! Silly Sarah.

And now it's almost another 28 days later. And this month?


I'm thinking I gave the man QUITE a scare.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it's time for the big announcement!

[Dramatic pause.]

The lucky winner of 4 Ringling Bros Circus tickets is....

Kate from One More Thing! Congrats, Kate! Enjoy!

[Disclaimer: Winner was chosen via random drawing. Meaning, there were 12 comments but 2 of them didn't count. So this morning I asked Eldest to pick a number between 1 and 10. He picked #6 (most likely because it's his age, I'm guessing), which was Kate's comment.]


Elizabeth said...

why is it when we have to tell the mens some potentially negative news, we all do it all rapid fire like that? i do the same thing.

cracked me right the hell up.

Amy said...

This is freakin hilarious!

Anonymous said...

Have to disagree with you: that leaves "kinda funny now" in the DUST on its way to "so hysterical I think I just cracked a rib."

Simply AnonyMom said...

HAHAHA I have so been there! I had #1 in 04/04 and never had a cycle and had #2 in 07/05. While mine are farther apart than yours (15 months) we were not at all ready and took measures to ensure no more oops. (i got a tubal then 6 mo later hubby got snipped). I had been very clockwork like after the tubal then in June, I had a monster cycle. I went over 60 days between. Hubby was freaking, I was freaking, accusations were put out there. (he had ":proof" his worked, where was my proof" etc. We took many tests, but with #2 I did not get a positive on a HPT until 10 weeks anyway.

ANyway long story longer, I do not mention my cycle and he no longer asks and I never buy a test.

I am glad everything worked out OK for you and your hubby was able to get up from the floor after that.

Thank you again for a good chuckle.

Jenni said...

I am telling you I would have had a heart attack and died before I unwrapped the stick. LOL!

I am glad you are off to Palm Springs!

Anonymous said...

Awesome. I sure hope they let us *leave* the circus after we arrive.

We've never had a hard time conceiving before - always before, it was that constant "Oh, crap" worry, especially once I got on the last pill and didn't have a period for a year. Argh.

Mags said...

OMG...the exact same thing happened to me last month. DH actually went out and bought a pee stick. I took it, and of course, it was negative. I got my period less than an hour later. The stress of it all!!!

Anonymous said...

I feel terrible that I laughed :^) Hope you have some reason to worry if it is late next month.

3XMom said...

lol...funny cuz I've been there. Had babies #1 & 2 with fertility treatments. Was told I couldn't get pregnant. Fast forward 15 months...miss my period (which is always regular) don't really worry about it (I can't get pregnant
- right?)...finally after a few weeks, didn't want to say anything to DH - cuz he'd know I was nuts. Get the HP test. Course, it was pregnant. Left test on the counter and call to hubby - honey, go check out the bathroom. LOL

A Christian Mom said...

Oh, I remember being there before! Thanks for the laugh! lol

Maureen said...

Never a dull moment! Ugh!

Shanna said...

That was pretty funny. Last time I did that, it was positive. I am due in April!!
Hubby is not snipped yet, so not really a huge surprise. Our other two are 15 months apart.

Mom of 5 said...

I had my tubes tied, and I've had an ablation, which means I have zero periods and the chances of pregnancy are miniscule. I have yet to tell my husband that every once in awhile I panic. How would I know if my surgeries failed if I have no periods? I could be pregnant and I wouldn't even know it!

I'm beyond irrational.

Paula Reece said...

Now, did you actually pee on the stick IN CVS? I think I would've. "People, you don't understand: I've got THREE BOYS!!!" They would've understood, I think.

So glad to know it's "negative." I've had those scares too, and I have to admit that a teensy part of me was always a little bit sad when it came back negative. But then reality slapped me in the face and I thought, "Yeah, because I'm doing SO WELL handling my life as a working mom with THREE kids!"

Business trip? What's that? I hear about those things but beings as how my hubby's a teacher, we don't get to partake in such fun-away-from-home! Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!!!

Not Afraid to Use It said...

We just went through this on our trip to Europe. I was supposed to get my period, and I didn't. I haven't been late for years. Years. I ended up getting mine about 3-4 days late, but those were miserable, freaking out days. And you can be damn sure I told Hubbie I was late so he could count down with me. No way in hell am I going to be stressing about it alone.


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