Monday, September 15, 2008

Fantasy vs. Reality

The Fantasy:

I will be on time to pick up the boyz from the babysitter's, swooping in with kisses and hugs in my kicky red heels and the boyz will respond with eagerness and excitement over Mommy picking them up instead of Daddy (who's working late to provide for his family golfing).

The Reality:

I'm late. I'm wearing sneakers, not fashionable heels, with my work clothes, so I can scurry from work to catch the train. Thus, I look like a coffee shop waitress instead of an executive. It's hot, my hair is frizzed and I'm wiping drool from my chin because I fall asleep on the train on the way home and almost miss my stop.

The boyz ask, "But where's Daddy?" repeatedly as I make my not-so-grand entrance. They're tired and hungry.

The Fantasy:

We get home to the Trenches, entering in orderly fashion, backpacks and shoes placed properly where they belong. The boyz play nicely together while I prepare a nutritious dinner.

The Reality:

I stop at McD's drive-thru. Everyone scurries in the house, backpacks and shoes dropped haphazardly in the kitchen and the TV is immediately blaring Nickelodeon.

The Fantasy:

I am able to squeeze in a 30 minute DVD workout (I'm on Day 10/Level 1 of the Shred!) before eating my McD's salad and administering baths.

The Reality:

I wolf down some cold french fries. And the "crust" of Middle's cheeseburger. (Yes, I'm fully aware that a round cheeseburger has no crust. But try telling that to a 4-year old.) I pop in the DVD. Eldest and Baby decide to play football right next to me, which becomes ON TOP OF ME as I'm doing situps. Middle complains of a bellyache. And then poops. I press stop in order to wipe his butt. Middle and Baby fight. I continue my workout. Eldest wants more milk. I press stop in order to refill drinks. I continue my workout. Baby needs more ketchup. I press stop.

The Fantasy:

A shower for Eldest, and a nice warm bubble bath for Middle and Baby. Shampoos, ears cleaned, fingernails trimmed. Pajamas on, teeth brushed, and storytime for all 3 on Mommy's bed. Wishes of sweet dreams and they're tucked into bed for the night.

The Reality:

Eldest and Baby take a bubble bath together and fight over toys. Middle takes a shower and slips and falls and bonks his head. No shampoos, no scrubbing. I do manage to remind them to wash their faces as the water is draining. Pajamas are on, and it's back downstairs. Daddy comes home and is greeted with excited squeals of "Daddy, you're home! We missed you!" as he trips over the backpacks and shoes in his path.

30 minutes later, it's bedtime, amidst loud vocal protests. No teeth are brushed in the process.

*sigh* So how was YOUR Monday night??


Judy said...

Take away one boy, and you'd have my day!

No, wait, hubby was home from work today, so it was just like having three little boys today! LOL

Don't you LOVE it when their first response when seeing you is "Where's Dad?"

Unknown said...

strikingly similar except for there was no workout video, and I showered with my oldest and the youngest took a bath by herself. The arguments took place during bedtime. :)

Shasta said...

ah, the story of my life, I'm right there with you! Except that I'm a SAHM and I still can't manage to live out the fantasy instead of the reality!

azusmom said...

Sounds familiar! Except, when I was trying to get Elder (son, who kept running away) into the tub, Younger (daughter) snuck in FULLY CLOTHED.
Hubby was at work followed by school, so the kids were mine all night (well, until 9:30). I woke up at 2 AM with a cold and sore throat, then stayed up with Younger, who couldn't sleep and was crying.

But no arguing, lol!

Anonymous said...

My Monday night was spent convincing my two two year old that she did want to go to bed and dream of rainbows and puppy dogs and all those things a two year old should be dreaming of.

Rinse repeat, for two hours.

Then if that wasn't enough, I spent the rest of the evening convincing myself I wasn't coming down with a nasty head cold. Fast forward to 2AM (I know, it's technically Tuesday) as I struggle to swallow a Tylenol amidst the screaming pain in my throat, with my congested nose begging to be blown.

Here's to Tuesday night, Nyquil and Daddy putting the Little Imp to bed whilst I fall into a deep Nyquil coma.

Sharon - Mom Generations said...

I laughed truly out loud through both the "fantasies" and "realities"...
and I am reminded of an evening a very long time ago that went something like this:

On the way home from teaching, I stopped, with 4 kids, at the supermarket to pick up dinner things for a visit from my in-laws to celebrate my father-in-law's birthday. It was November. My mother-in-law, bless her soul, was a fabulous cook, super organizer, and all-around perfect hostess, so I wanted everything to be perfect. If it had been summer, things would have been different, because my husband did, and still does, all the grill cooking (just the grilling, mind you. I still do all the "other" stuff that makes a meal a meal). Anyway, when I got home, I prepared the pot roast and all the trimmings, popped it into the oven, set the table all beautiful, got out the "fancy" dessert plates for the cake, bathed the kids, got a little dressed up myself... and then my husband came home.

Everything went perfectly. At the end of the meal, my mother-in-law smiled and said so proudly, "Barry really knows how to throw a little party."

I kicked my husband under the table and just smiled a big smile. It's one of my most favorite memories of being the second in charge!

Missives From Suburbia said...

Minus two kids, plus three large dogs, and a pregnant belly, and you just described my life. What I want to know is WHY they always insist on climbing on you while you're trying to work out! I hate that!

Jenni said...

Sounds strikingly like any weeknight at my house...

Alex Elliot said...

Yes, but your reality about their dinner was probably their fantasy!

Amanda said...

I think I was picking bits of mold out of the grilled cheese sandwiches on the griddle as I checked for meltage and instead found greenage.

Anonymous said...

Sounds familiar. I forgot to put a diaper on my youngest (2 1/2yo) last night after bath. So extra laundry today.

Fratzels said...

You could be writing about my evenings minus a kid and the workout video (becuase why would I do something as ambitious as that).

Your post made me long for my days on the commuter train from Boston to Beverly. No I settle for me car ride home through the sticks of NH.

Unknown said...

Oh Sarah.. as always, you have me here laughing! I love the fantasy/reality. Oh, yes. Our worlds. So true. So true!!
Awesome post!

~Swankymama said...

Did you plant a video camera at our house?? LOL

iheartchocolate said...

This was great. I often end up disappointed because things don't go quite as I've envisioned. Often is an understatement.

I'm just glad I'm not alone.

..getting caught up on my reading, missed ya.

Anonymous said...

Oh my GOD, woman - tell it. At one point, I accidentally read your 'fantasy' as the reality, and slumped in my chair, feeling like poo. Glad to see we all share the same mad reality!

Am new to your blog - love it!!

Manic Mommy said...

You forgot to mention the gallons of water sloshing from the tub to land on the bathroom floor.

Not to mention the screaming - theirs and Mom's.

Mom of 5 said...

To be honest, I'm in the same boat. My training puts me home so late, and it's rush rush rush. Daddy has been the one who greets them in the afternoon. I'm home at dinner time.

The funny thing is, I am the one who is home last, and I don't get the eager greetings. Today I walked in and my 2 year old looked at me and nonchalantly said "You not a Monster" and went back to Wubbzy. I felt so appreciated!

I love the paycheck, but I don't love the evening rush rush lifestyle.


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