You see, I'm not running anymore.
Sis and I had even started our own running blog.
But it was hard to find THE ZONE. I just never got there this spring. Or this summer. And it saddens me. Being fit, healthy and feeling good about myself and my body was SUCH a major accomplishment for me last fall.
Completing a half marathon was one of my proudest moments. As a woman. As a mother of 3. As a 34 year old.
Going back to work full-time has been a major life change. My days, heck, even my hours and minutes, are not my own. The times when I'm not commuting to work (up at 5:30am, out the door by 6:45 am), at work, or commuting home from work (home at 6:30pm), I'm Mommy.
(Obviously, I'm still a mother when I'm away from the Trenches, just in a long-distance capacity.)
But at home, I'm in Mommy-Mode. Doing for others. Focusing on them. While also attempting to squeeze in some laundry, household organization, and
Exercise has suffered. And in turn, my eating habits have suffered. (I'm one of those people who are all-or-nothing. If I exercise, I eat right. When I'm off the workout wagon, I eat terribly unhealthy - mmmm...Doritos! Rolos! Ice Cream! No happy medium here.)
It bothers me that my pants are tight. It bothers me that I don't like the way I look. It bothers me that I feel like I'm making excuses when I say that I don't have TIME to exercise - to make it a priority.
But if I do that, THEN something else suffers and falls by the wayside. And it can't be the boyz.
I'm picturing myself dressed up as a circus clown. Juggling balls in the air. One is family. One is work. One is household. That's all I can juggle right now. Sadly, the exercise ball is down at my feet. I can't fit it into the rotation without dropping one of the others. I'm just not that skilled of a juggler.
And it bothers me.