Friday, June 13, 2008

Because It's Not the Day Before Vacation Unless Someone's Throwing Up

Did you know that the Celtics overcame a 24-point deficit to win Game 4 of the NBA Finals last night?

Yeah, they did.

And guess who stayed up until midnight watching said game?

Yeah, we did.

Guess who started their vacation a little early and partook in a few adult bevvies last night?

Yeah, we did.

Now, here's where it gets tricky:

Guess who entered our bedroom at 1:15 a.m.?
a) Eldest
b) Middle
c) Baby

Answer: a) Eldest

Guess what he did? (Clue: SEE BLOG TITLE)


So, it's 1:15, I've barely gone to sleep, and all of a sudden, Eldest is standing at my bedside wimpering. Suddenly, the wimpering morphs into HEAVING. So I usher him into his bathroom, leaving a trail of puke in his wake. Now there's a puddle in the hallway, and the new bathroom tile is slick with vomit. I rush over to comfort him while his head is in the toilet and squish my bare toes in it, sliding as I'm trying to reach him.

*my gag reflex was working overtime as I typed that*

He finishes and I tuck him back into bed, with the puke bucket firmly at his side. Thankfully, he's not feverish.

Proceed to clean up the mess on the tile and carpet. (There were chunks, in case you were wondering. You weren't? Oh. Sorry.)

Walk back into my bedroom. Immediately step in moist trail on our carpet. Clean that. Get ready to hop into bed and notice strong stench.

Yeah, it's on the bedskirt. And look! Bonus! It's on the duvet cover as well. The edge of it. The edge that I usually tuck firmly under my chin.

Curse profusely, as it's now 1:45 and I'll be getting less than 4 hours of sleep.

Settle in bed, duvet cover now tossed aside (wayyyyy too tired to deal) and try to sleep.


Smell is all around.

Proceed to turn off AC and open bedroom window.

2:15 a.m. Puke bucket is clattering. Rush to Eldest's room to find him moaning and yakking again. He misses the bucket. Usher him to bathroom. Strip his bed. Toss bedding and soiled pj's in washer. Re-make his bed with clean sheets.

2:45 a.m. I now have less than 3 hours sleep. Shiver without duvet.

3:15 a.m. One more round of puking. He makes the bucket.

So guess whose flight leaves at 5:30 a.m. from Boston tomorrow?

Yeah, ours does.

Guess who has to get up at 3 a.m. in order to make said flight to Myrtle Beach?

Yeah, we do.

Guess who still has packing to do tonight?

Yep, you guessed it.

And guess who has to work all day today?

Right again.

And the kick in the nuts?

Guess who slept through the entire ordeal and actually thought I was joking when I informed him of the night's festivities?

Yeah, he did.

I swear, I couldn't make this shit puke up if I tried.

But Sarah!

A relaxing family vacation is just around the bend!

Gah, I can't even type that with a straight face.

*as she slowly sinks under her desk at work and assumes the fetal position*


Sarah said...

oh, MAN!

you guys have bad puke luck.

Anonymous said...

I have so been there.
You think that having someone puke all over you would be the worse thing in the world, but when it's your little one and they're all desperate and vulnerable, you kinda don't mind. Well afterwards. Obviously at the time you want a fairy godmother to turn up and sort it all out for you.

Caits said...

OH NO!!!!!!!!

Good luck today---lots of coffee.

J said... That is awful.

But on the upside, at least the Celtics won! Definitely worth staying up for, right??

justme said...

that is the pits. i hope your vacation is AWESOME and puke free !!!

Mom of 5 said...

I REALLY hope it was just isolated to Oldest and your vacation goes off without any more hitches. I feel for you.

I really hate nights/days like this. It's one of those things nobody ever tells you when you talk about how wonderful it will be to become a parent.

Judy said...

Hopefully he's gotten it all out of his system and will be fine for the trip (and not contaminate the rest of the trenches). Hang in there today, put yourself in survival mode at home and get some sleep tonight. Feelin' for ya!

Amy said...

Oh Lord - he SLEPT though that? I'd have been giving P a good shake and making him help. Yuck - nothing worse than cleaning vomit in the middle of the night.

I hope it is gone and no one else gets it!!

AnnetteK said...

Holy puke Batman. That's just horrifying. So sorry!

Liz said...

i just read the title of your post and let out a huge "SO TRUE!" whoop.

best of luck on the "quiet family vacation" and i hope everyone is feeling much MUCH better. STAT.

(incidentally, we take a family vacation to Myrtle Beach every July. In fact, because we have a baby due (OMFG) three days, this will be our first vacation in 10 years that we're not taking. SOB!)

Paula Reece said...

I have soooo been there! Hang in there!

By the way, I am featuring you today on Pay It Forward Friday, hosted by See what I said about you (it's all good :) at and Pay It Forward--if you have time between the plane rides and the puking! :)

Happy Vacationing!

Jessica @ Little Nesting Doll said...

Ugh, that just sucks. Make a list for your hubs so he can do the packing and you can get some sleep tonight. BWAHHAHAHAHAA. Sorry, I was just imagining what would be in our suitcases if I tried that with my husband. Hee heee heeee...

I hope this ends the pukiness for this vacation, and the actual time in Myrtle Beach is full of fun in the sun!

Anonymous said...


Just - uggghhhhhh.

You know.

May this be your last puke-related episode for at least a month. Or three.

Anonymous said...

You must be living my life. This same scenario just happened in my house the last 2 nights. I won't even talk about the puke, I am blocking it out. But what is with our lame husbands and their ability to sleep through it? Even after I nudge him - tell him to get up- he says okay - and then still lays there! What in God's green earth does he think is happening when I am cursing at him?! I hope you have a puke free vacation... and get some well-deserved rest!

Anonymous said...

Oh no! I hope it's all over before the trip!

amanda said...

omg i love you!!

i am sooo sorry about the puke, the lack of sleep and the smell. not to mention the clueless husband (and i say that with love.) but seriously how do they sleep through that?

anyways - i hope you are happily sitting on the beach puke free!!

miss you already :)

Lindsay said...

Ugh, yakkity yak! What a way to usher in a week of fun. At least he's getting it over with now and not on the plane.

Enjoy my neck of the woods! It's supposed to be around 90 and the water's in the mid 80s.

Unknown said...

My kids always have a away at bringing the hope of a peaceful vacation back to reality!!

Scary Mommy said...

That's ALWAYS how it is. Hope you got off ok!!

Manic Mommy said...

You're a better man than me, Charlie Brown. I would have bitten the bullet on the first go-round but after that, fair is fair. Andy would have gotten equal share in *that* joy.

Here's to a happy, HEALTHY vacation.

A Christian Mom said...

Hi! I'm coming from Boogers and Burps.

I feel your pain! I've been there one to many times with my girls.

I hope your vacation turns out a lot better than you anticipate!

You have a way with words & I know I'm going to enjoy reading your blog.

Shannon said...

It's struggle to get my 23 year-old fiance ready for vacation, I can't imagine wrangling vomiting children! Good luck to you and I hope you enjoy your vacation!

Tip Junkie said...

How awful and terrible timing. I absolutely love your blog header - I can totaly relate. ;)

MarĂ­a said...

Hope you're having fun! You're only a few hours away from me! :D

Anonymous said...

LOL. I would feel so bad for you if you weren't going to have a fabulous vacay....

Deb said...

I don't enjoy vacation nearly as much as I did before I had a kid. To be honest, my idea of vacation would be having Hubby and my kiddo go away for three days, while I basked in my clean house alone for a long weekend.


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