Monday, April 07, 2008

Tales from the Trenches - Weekend Edition

My father is home from the hospital, recovering from his hip replacement. My mother has taken this week off of work to care for him....she'll be channeling Kathy Bates a la Misery, I'm certain.

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Eldest has a friend at school named Max. And he is insistent that Max's middle name is "Well."

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Middle came out of the bathroom yesterday and informed me, "Mom, sometimes after you pee, you do this." And he proceeded to do a little shiver dance. Ah, yes....the pee-pee shiver.

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I was driving with the 3 boyz on Saturday morning. Middle was constantly whining that his tag was bothering him on the back of his neck. And he wanted me to fix it. RIGHT NOW. So I said calmly, "I am driving. I can't help you right now. If I turn around, I will crash the car." And then Eldest piped up from the backseat, "And THAT would NOT be thrilling."

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Baby is our resident Drama Queen (besides me, of course. I own the crown.) Whenever something isn't going his way (especially at dinner time when we're yelling at him gently encouraging him to eat), he moans, "I sick." "I have bellyache." Last night though, he came up with a new one after Hubby demanded that he eat 5 more bites of meat: "I tan't. Be-tuz I tan't breathe", followed by a dramatic sigh and big brown puppy dog eyes. He's not even 3!

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I laughed until I cried last night. That doesn't happen very often. Here's why: all 5 of us were in the sunroom. 4 out of 5 of us were crammed snuggled together on the small loveseat (me and the boyz. and their books. and their sippy cups. and their blankies.) Hubby was crawling on his hands and knees on the area rug in front of us, picking up some sort of food crumb-age (good man, huh?). I couldn't resist. I reached out my leg and gave him a shove. But did he fall over?? Oh no. HE ROLLED. TWICE. And then looked up at me, wide-eyed, and said, "What the hell was that for?"

It. was. soooooo. funny.

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Thus concludes your weekend edition of Tales from the Trenches.

5 comments:

Amy said...

Oh that is funny! All of it!

I love "I tan't breathe." Hilarious!

Crystal said...

Rolled TWICE, hilarious! Don't you wonder about them sometimes? (still giggling)

hqm said...

Max Well!!! That is funny!

Amanda said...

At this stage in the pregnancy all Sean does is laugh and wince at me.

hot potato said...

i can see scott right now. oh my. i am still laughing cause it is totally something i would have done. would have loved to be a fly on the wall.

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