Sunday, February 24, 2008

Sarah at the Oscars 2008

Here I sit, all gussied up in my Oscar ensemble. "Who are you wearing?" you all inquire, arms outstretched, thrusting the microphones into my face.

Slippers by LLBean
Pajama pants by Lands End
Plain white turtleneck by Eddie Bauer (My friends Christy and Sharon are right now nodding in agreement over my admittance of a steadfast addiction to wearing turtlenecks in winter.)
And jewelry by The Vintage Pearl.

8:32 Here we go! Decent monologue by JS. I smiled throughout.

Costume Design category = big yawn. Snack time!
[I flip over to HBO On Demand and am thrilled to see new/old episodes of Season Three of Entourage. I'm trying to get caught up. 2 words: Vinny Chase.]

The 80 years of Oscars montage gives me chills. And not just because Hubby tends to lower the temperature in the sunroom to FRIGID.

Yep, my bro-in-law still looks like Steve Carell...

Huh. The temperature is 64 in here and I'm freezing. Time for a sweatshirt. The singing Amy Adams isn't impressing me.

9:05 I wonder who got nominated for eviction on Big Brother?

9:07 The Rock? Presenting at the Oscars? They had to have been desperate.

9:11 Only Johnny Depp can rock nerdy owlish glasses and make them look sexy.

9:14 Time to break out my Princess wine glass. So what's in it? Why, it's straight vodka.
Kidding. It's water (to wash down the popcorn that's now stuck in my teeth.) (I hate drinking ice in my water because it makes the glass all sweaty. Is that weird?)

9:19 Can anyone translate what Javier Bardem just said? Anyone?

I cheat and skip to the end of Big Brother on my DVR to see who's nominated for eviction. I won't ruin it for my fellow bad-reality-TV junkies.

9:28 Owen Wilson. Good to see him.

9:35 Best Supporting Actress: Fingers crossed for Amy Ryan in Gone Baby Gone (the only 1 of the 5 movies I've seen in this category.)

Ok, who the hell is Tilda Swinton and why is she wearing a Hefty garbage bag?

9:44 Still staring at Jessica Alba's boobs...

9:52 Change of scenery. I'm freezing my tits off (damn New England in February) and have decided to relocate to the living room next to the woodstove.

10:00 Is it too late to break out the M&Ms?

10:02 Hubby loves the movie Superbad. That kid (who's presenting right now) is a riot.

10:09 Lead Actress! Fingers crossed for Ellen Page in Juno (the only 1 of the 5 movies I've seen in this category.)

Damn, I'm 0 for 2.

Is Marion Cotillard channeling Ariel the Disney mermaid with that dress or WHAT? Finally, the first heartfelt acceptance speech of the night.

10:19 How funny would it have been if Colin Farrell fell flat on his face and knocked out a few teeth?

10:20 Nah, it's never to late for M&Ms...
10:21 These Oscar nominated songs are killing me. Couldn't they just eliminate this portion?

10:24 So I've seen 23 out of the 79 Best Picture movies. You'll sleep so much better knowing that, won't you?

10:31 Was Nicole Kidman too good to walk the red carpet? Anyway, she looks amazing with her bitty baby bump. Somehow I can't picture her waddling on swollen cankles at 9 months preggo.

10:35 Call me cynical but I'm not quite sure the 98 year old honorary Oscar recipient knows where (or who, for that matter) he is.

10:49 Jeez--do ya think a song from the movie Enchanted will win?

Gah, now I'm 0 for 3.

10:52 Slowly fading...

10:58 Crap. Someone upstairs is stirring. One of the boyz. Hubby is on the case as I feign deafness here downstairs.

11:01 The obligatory death tribute.

11:05 Ok, not to dwell, but if they hadn't performed all the songs, this would be over by now. You know everyone who uses Tivo fast-forwards through the singing anyways.

11:24 Best Original Screenplay...I hope Diablo Cody wins...

Yay! Have you seen Juno? It was VERY good. Hubby even liked it (way more than I expected he would) because it's not really a chick-flick.

11:31 Helen Mirren is the epitome of class. Her red dress is one of my faves of the night.

11:42 Talk fast Mr. Scorsese. This momma's tired. Score another one for the Coen bros.

11:44 Denzel looks gooooood without hair. Puh-leeze let this be over now.

And it's a hat trick for the Coens. I'm out. Ni-night.

12 comments:

slouching mom said...

This was BRILLIANT!

I was right there with you, wondering about that really old man, thinking about Owen Wilson...

Hefty garbage bag. Snort.

Mom of 5 said...

Now I'm really sad I missed it. Thank you for the commentary. I feel like I was *almost* there. (And I'm right with you on ice in my water glass!!!!)

Alex Elliot said...

Fantastic! Now I'm going to have to find a picture of the actress dressed in a garbage bag.

Suz said...

Those Enchanted songs were awful. I was infuriated - three songs from one movie? clearly it was a reach.

Chicky Chicky Baby said...

Wish I could have watched with you. I would have brought my bags of M&Ms and the Jelly Belly's.

hqm said...

Good for you... I called it quits around 10:35!

Shell in the City said...

Loved your recap & pictures!! I dozed, as usual, during the show! Loved Juno - wish it would have won more awards! I will have to count up how many Oscar Best Picture movies I've seen!

azusmom said...

This is why I moved to California from Boston, so I cold watch the Oscars and have it all be over by 9:45.

OK, that's not the real reason, it's just a bonus. Along with the lack of sleet.

Elaine said...

I thought it would never end...

the show, not your post :)

Little Miss Sunshine State said...

This is why I moved from MA to Florida...so I could THROW AWAY all my turtlenecks.

Peanut M&M's are my #1 candy.
And Juno has become my favorite movie EVER! Hubby liked it too.

And why do all those skeleton/actresses think they look hot? Hubby said even Katherine Heigl is getting too skinny.

amanda said...

why oh why didn't i know you were doing this?? i could have skipped them all together and just enjoyed your version!!

btw - i have only seen 17 of the 80. looks like i have some catching up to do!

Deb said...

Yay for Diablo Cody!!

This was a record-breaking year for me. I saw not ONE of the movies nominated. Can you say "mother of a toddler"?

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