Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Meditations For Women Who Do Too Much

Hubby bought me the above-mentioned page-a-day calendar for Christmas. I keep it on my desk at work.

The ever so helpful suggestion for Thursday, January 17th? (SHUT UP. I know it's February 5th today. I've been meaning to write this post for 3 weeks now.)

"ALONE TIME--Women who do too much do it more efficiently, more creatively, and better when they take two or three hours completely for themselves once a month. This month, find a way to be in water. Swim, soak in a tub, take a long shower, soak your feet, or even wash dishes by hand--slowly. Let it be known that interruptions are not allowed during these precious times."

Really?! Are you f'ing kidding me?!

There are oh so many things wrong with this that I don't quite know where to begin...

1. Swim? Because putting on a bathing suit is just soooo not stressful in itself. Especially in January, when the skin is whiter, the legs are hairier and the fat is heftier. GREAT tip.

2. Soak your feet? Ummm...Why does an image of an old lady in a rocking chair immersing her gnarly corns and bunions spring to my mind?

3. Slowly wash dishes by hand? Is there anyone out there who would find this even remotely appealing? Anyone? Bueller?

Ack. I'm SO DONE with this calendar.

18 comments:

Caffeine Court said...

When I first read your title I thought it said "MEDICATIONS for Women Who Do Too Much" and I got all excited! Yay meds!

Funny stuff!

iheartchocolate said...

NO doubt this was written by a MAN. UGH.

I am so stressed, let me go wash some dishes, slowly. No one interrupt me, PLEASE.

Suz said...

a) that is hysterical
b) when I was a kid, we didn't have a dishwasher at my beachhouse for some inexplicable reason, I used to love handwashing the dishes. WHAT????, now I would choose eating on paper plates to avoid washing anything. Also, when I burn something in a pan, I have been known to throw away said pan rather than attempt to clean it. Wasteful much?

tulipmom said...

Yeah ... the only one of those suggestions I'd remotely consider would be #2 and that's *only* if I was soaking them while getting a pedicure at a salon. There's nothing relaxing if I'm the one who has to clean out the tub afterwards.

It's too bad that wearing a bathing suit is such a downer. I'm sure being in the pool would feel really good to this fat whale.

hqm said...

I bet a man wrote the calendar!

Amy said...

HAHAHAHAHA! LMAO!

I bet making a little bonfire out of that calendar would make you feel better!

GHD said...

Okay, first of all you are hilarious and second, I would get rid of that calendar too.

I mean, two to three hours a MONTH!

I need about two to three hours a week or I get crabby! Well, actually, a day, but that ain't happen 'round here, so I'm cool with a week, but to not take a break for a MONTH. Puh-lease...

Life As I Know It said...

Slowly wash dishes by hand?

WTF?

I think I'd get more enjoyment from watching paint dry.

BOSSY said...

Said perfectly!

Patty said...

Definitely written by a man I do not want to wash dishes by hand especially when I am stressed!

JanelleGrace said...

Uhm, I like to wash dishes especially when I can just do it slowly and have some music playing. But then again, I wash dishes for two people and I better not hate it as we have no dishwasher.

Also, I do have to admit that whenever I'm stressed or sad, a good bubble bath helps me. But like I said before, I just have to deal with myself and my boyfriend.

workout mommy said...

hilarious! and why water? It's freezing cold here in January, the last thing I want to do is get in water!! (unless of course I am suddenly on a beach in Mexico and someone else is washing my dishes by hand!!!)

Manic Mommy said...

Thank God you didn't agree with this!

Surprisingly, the winter bathing suit body wasn't as traumatic as one would think. Once you're in public, you realize that there really is an obesity epidemic in the US. By comparison, I've only got a slight fever.

PinksandBluesGirls said...

Hey Girl!
Can I get a copy of this!!??
And get this... BOY #4!! Yup, it's a BOY!!!!!
C-section in June 17th.
Hope all is well with you men!!!!
xo,
Audrey

Janet said...

I would find washing dishes by hand relaxing. If I were dreaming about it. In my bed. And also? I'm drunk.

Anonymous said...

Whoever wrote that was either NOT a woman, NOT a mom, or at the very least NOT normal. MB :o)

Mom of 5 said...

I'd be happy if I had 2-3 hours a month of alone time. But I'll be damned if I'd spend it slowly washing dishes. I'd spend it passed out on my bed. (or the couch, chair, or any remotely comfortable surface...ahhhhhh....sleep, how I miss you!)

QueenMother said...

That calendar should be renamed-"Women who hate themselves too much!"

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