Wednesday, January 09, 2008

My Inner Monologue

After a delicious vacation day yesterday, coupled with the fogginess that was my brain as I try (unsuccessfully) to fend off an impending headcold, I found it tough to focus during my first monthly Legal Division meeting.

...statutory tax rates...pre-tax income...blahblahblah...

Damn. Why did I just eat 4 of those mini muffins? I have NO self control. God, my mouth is dry. I think that cold medicine gives me cottonmouth. I wish I had grabbed a water. Would it be rude to blow my nose now? Do people notice me sniffing? Am I being annoying?

...capitalized value...foreign differential...yadayadayada...

Oooh, I like her shoes! I wonder if they're designer. Yeah, they look expensive. Maybe I could find some new shoes at Marshalls! Shit, I forgot to bring those jeans to return. I shouldn't have chugged that Diet Coke. I gotta pee.

...tax havens...leverage internally...blahblahblah...

Cool. Those are planes taking off from Logan. Maybe I should start counting them. That will make the time pass quicker. Ewww...why did I wear these pants? My thighs look huDge sitting here. I really need to run again. I should have gone yesterday. I'm so lazy.

...migrate intangibles...trade optimization...yadayadayada...

Shit, my eyes are getting heavy. Must. Stay. Awake. Her hair is cute. Why can't my hair be cute? I wonder if there are any mini muffins left out there.

In conclusion...blahblahblah...Any questions?

Ugh, why won't that guy quit asking questions? Does he not notice he's the only one? Why is there always someone like that? Hey mister, we all want to leave and you're holding us up. Shut up already! Yuck, I can't believe I have to sit through a meeting like this every month. But ooooh, it's almost time for lunch!

10 comments:

Life As I Know It said...

Ah, I LOVE productive meetings. Sounds like you got a lot accomplished. Conference calls are much better that way you don't have to even pretend to be paying attention ;)

Kelly said...

A woman after my own heart. Who wouldn't prefer muffins to statutory tax rates?

QueenMother said...

Ugh..I could never work..my inner dialogue would end up with me online shopping on my laptop that I brought for notes.

Mom of 5 said...

That's me in our meetings. Especially when people start asking questions. I'd rather they corner the speaker AFTER the meeting. I have lunch to get after all! Priorities, people!

And I ALWAYS get sleepy in meetings. I can drink a pot of coffee, but as soon as the droning starts, it's like a sleeping pill. I can't sit still and not want to fall asleep. I don't sit still at any other time, so my body thinks the day must be over!

(see my blog for the fruit flush! I posted it for you)

Anne said...

cottonmouth... hehehe... I haven't heard that term since high school.

Dorene said...

Were you hanging out inside my brain? Becuase that was totally me in a meeting yesterday....

Potty Mummy said...

I remember meetings like that. You are clearly more hard-core than me though - I actually DID fall asleep...

Amy said...

This post is SO FUNNY! I'm in this meeting and thinking your thoughts like once a week!

Candace said...

I wish I was out to lunch with your inner monologue. We'd have a good time!

MadMad said...

Hahaha! I remember those days!

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