Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Scary Costume Magic

"A two year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it." Jerry Seinfeld

Is your toddler a whirling dervish of energy, mischief and non-compliance?

Well, this Momma's got the cure: How Costumed Characters Will Get Your Toddler to Listen to You!

Warning: The following recommendation may cause hefty therapy bills (for your child) down the road.

I took Middle and Baby to a locally-owned bookstore to meet Diego and Boots this past weekend. (Yeah, I know, random. Why not Dora and Boots? Or Diego and Baby Jaguar? Beats me.)

The 3 of us were the first to arrive, even before the store employees had a chance to throw on the costumes guests of honor. This gave me a chance to browse (I ended up buying this and this) while Middle and Baby methodically pulled books off the shelves perused the goods in the children's section.

Finally, Diego and Boots came traipsing out. We were quite a distance away, but lemme tell ya, as soon as Baby spotted them, his entire little body began quivering and quaking in fear. He scurried up the front of me, screaming, "Buh-bye. Go buh-bye NOW" over and over again as I held him. So because I didn't want to cheat Middle out of a photo op getting to see them up close, I set Baby down on a little stepstool, where he rigidly remained, chocolate cookie in hand, shaking and sobbing and chanting, "Buh-bye, buh-bye, buh-bye..."


Now, I had changed a poopy diaper of Baby's just before we left the Trenches. When I picked him up to leave the bookstore, he had pooped again. Yep, Diego and Boots scared the crap out of him. Literally.

But get this: This incident has actually been 100% effective in getting Baby to listen to me these days! If he doesn't do what I say, I simply threaten him that we're getting in the car to go see Diego and Boots RIGHT NOW. (Are you getting a clear sense of his future therapy bills?)

Summary: Unintentionally scaring the shit out of a Terrible Two-year old gives Mommy some leverage (and blog fodder!)

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This is cross-posted at New England Mamas. Did you leave a comment over there for our contest yet? Well, what are ya waiting for? Go!

9 comments:

slouching mom said...

You're so funny.

Yes, the toddler terror of supersized cartoon characters. I know it well. And truthfully, you can't really blame him! Look at the size of Diego and Boots!

suchsimplepleasures said...

unfortunately, my son, who is almost 4, was never scared of costumed characters...not even, when my son dressed as jason, complete with a bloody knife...why, oh why...can't i have a normal child?! great story.

Annie said...

Poor Baby!!

I loved The Memory Keeper's Daughter - great book.

Suz said...

That is HYSTERICAL. I mean, in all fairness to Baby, those guys are creepy - they're so big and not at all as cuddly as they appear on tv but wow, that is a great story.

hot potato said...

you crack me up! isn't it mind boggling how as a mom you make such an effort to take advantage of local resources only for it to backfire...like your little one getting freaked out by the looks of diego and boots!

looking at them now, i would have been disturbed too.

so, i figure in order to capitalize on the situation, you are just being resourceful once again by hanging it over his head.

Deb said...

I am STILL laughing over the poopy diaper. I HAVE to see the video. I think you still have my email?

Jennifer said...

I'm scared looking at the pictures.

Jennifer, Le Binky Bitch

Jenn said...

Yes, here at the castle it's elmo.

MadMad said...

DUDE! When exactly are you finding the time for all this writing?! Dear God, it's like you're Wonder Woman or something! Hope YOU didn't get sick today...

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