Friday, July 06, 2007

WHEN are you due?

Needless to say, I wasn't a tiny pregnant woman (an oxymoron in itself, dontcha think?). That is, my ass looked as pregnant as my belly, my fingers looked like snausages (yep, the dog treat), my feet morphed into Fred Flintstone feet and my ankles? Were nonexistent. Oh wait, I had CANKLES.

My mother-in-law raised 2 boys. She doesn't quite know how to interact with me, her daughter-in-law. She's not the most sensitive woman. That is, she's not at all PC and pretty much blurts out whatever she's thinking.

Each of the 3 times I was pregnant, I cannot count the number of occasions she exclaimed to me, "When are you due again? You're HUUUUUGE. Are you sure they have your due date right?"

Being the wimpy nonconfrontational and oh so kind daughter-in-law that I am, I would grit my teeth and reply, "Yep, my due date is correct. I'm just a little swollen, that's all."

When what my inner monologue was screaming was more along the lines of, "Listen here you wretched woman. I'm hormonal. I'm hot, I'm tired and I'm grossly swollen. I own a mirror--I KNOW I'm gigantic. And you know what? It's ALL your precious son's fault! That's right, we had SEX! Lots."

This post is part of The Parent Bloggers Network Blog Blast. You too can write about the least favorite comment or question you received when you were expecting...don't you so wish you could have handed that dim-witted person this? You could be entered to win an autographed copy of the book and an iPod! So join in!
[This was taken the night before my water broke with my Eldest. I told you I was swollen.]

23 comments:

Jenn said...

Laughing.

My.

Ass.

Off.

Annie said...

I love it!

That photo is making my tummy itch - you know that tight feeling when your skin is all stretched over that baby bump?

Tinamtl said...

OMG you crack me up!!!!

My MIL is the same. Had 4 boys (1 poor girl)...she is the most undiplomatic person I have ever met.

!!!!!!!

painted maypole said...

I called them cankles, too!

Motherhood Uncensored said...

I think you look great. Cripey. People would tell me I didn't look pregnant (I'm tall but gained like 70 lbs with each one). I'm thinking "What do you think I look like NOT pregnant then?"

Cherann said...

I always looked really big. I think it may partly be because I have a small frame. But people (including my in-laws) always asked me..."Are you sure you're not having twins?"

So, I know how you feel. But I think of it this way...at least people can tell that I'm pregnant and aren't mistaking me for some grossly over weight woman.

QueenMother said...

Oh babe-I am so sorry! Well, I was asked, "When are you due?" about four months ago-the politician is 13 months old. Oh and by the way-I am a size 8 and 5'6"? This was by a saleswoman at Brooks Brothers where Mr. QM was buying his spring wardrobe. If it hadn't been a struggle to find a chance to go shopping sans kids in the first place-I SO would have put all that shit back.

Kelly said...

I was swollen too, from about 8 months on. Sausage toes, cankles, legs that looked like stumps.

I hear ya woman, I hear ya!

hot potato said...

uhgg... i am probably going to be going through it one more time... i never liked being pregnant either. i didn't deal with the swelling issues. i had the hardest time with constantly being devastatingly hungry all the time, vertigo, and migraines. same song different verse, i guess.

i am just enjoying the fact that i am not pregnant and not in transition from pregnancy and not nursing. today is a good day for those reasons.

a happier girl said...

Too funny. I was huge when I was pregnant too. I got asked several times if I was sure I wasn't having twins. Nope, just huge. And I seriously get annoyed with girls that don't. You know, the girls that tell you they didn't even need to buy maternity pants because they just wore baggy pants or something.

Lorilu said...

YES, I can relate!!!!!! I TOO am a daughter-in-law of a mother-in-law that raised boys ONLY! Let's just say I am VERY glad we now live in a different state then she does! :)

ed's girl said...

LMAO!!!!!!! I am so glad that i will never be there again---it's too recent and hurts just to look at your pic.
OK, so i am tagging you to post a smiling baby pic!GO!:)I am desperately trying to catch a pic of Brx smile.

Queen Heather said...

As moms of all boys, we must swear on all that is holy that we will NOT be the nasty MIL. (not saying your MIL is nasty...but mine is. And i know lots of other nasty MILs. They mostly seem to be the husband's mom. Why?)

Anyway, let's swear it!

Jennifer aka Binky Bitch said...

OY!

Cankles, that word always gives me the giggles!

tulipmom said...

Yup, I hear ya on having a mother-in-law who raised only sons.

Even my husband told me I was "as big as a house" when I was pregnant.

carrie said...

Gotta love those MIL's!!! Mine told me I sounded like Free Willy (the whale) when I was giving birth!

Can you feel the love?

Carrie

Jenn said...

Just wondering if you happened to catch any baseball games over the weekend? ;)

binkytown said...

Wow. I hear you, but you have to admit, you were a little bit huge in that photo! (a teensy bit)

CG said...

Mother in-laws, you can't have a husband without them. I have the same issue with mine, not very sensative to my feeling. When we were getting married she basically told me that she would give her honest opinion on things and if I didn't want my feeling hurt I shouldn't ask. So I didn't.

Kimberly said...

Okay, it's my first time here and I just have to say - you are delightful! Love the way you express yourself...

And by the way? You had wee tiny ankles compared to me with my first. Seriously.

pinks & blues girls said...

I have a mother-in-law with zero social skills, so I can relate to not knowing how to communicate with yours.

You definitely look swollen in that picture, but more importantly, you look happy and excited!!!

Jane, P&B Girls

Tinamtl said...

Swear.

I think it is easier with daughters...who marry men haha...to be a nice MIL.

When you have boys....you have to deal with ...new women in your life...that want YOUR BOYS...to themselves. Those daughters in law have more chance of being resentful to you.

Men don't do that kind of thing. They know their wife will be close to her mother. Always.

JMO. I could be wrong LOL

Jen M. said...

Seriously - my jaw dropped. You were HUGE!!!! I feel I can say that since you're so darn cute in your other pictures. And clearly all baby. But ouch. You poor thing - how could you breathe??

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