Tuesday, March 13, 2007

I'm a Real Mutha!

A Real Mom calmly and automatically suppresses her gag reflex and shudders of revulsion when her child has literally "bitten off more than he can chew" and proceeds to spit the enormous portion of regurgitated food back into her hand so that he (thankfully) doesn't choke.

A Real Mom deftly changes a diaper, while talking on the phone, while reprimanding a preschooler to stop whining, while boiling water for pasta, while checking the clock and counting down the minutes until Hubby comes home from work and it's officially Wine Thirty.

A Real Mom ignores the dirty dishes and dusty furniture to simply sit on the floor indian-style with a child curled on her lap to read "Ten Little Ladybugs" for the zillionth time.

A Real Mom thinks about how arbitrary and confusing and misleading the English language really is as she helps her 5 year old navigate reading and spelling. (Yes, C makes the S sound, PH makes the F sound, but not always; I'm not sure why "mutt" has two T's and not just one; and you're correct, "B-O-O-B-S" absolutely spells "Bobs".)

A Real Mom, no matter what she does or doesn't do, no matter how hard she tries, always has this anomaly festering somewhere deep in her soul: Mother Guilt.
Real Moms. Finger Sweeping, Wiping Butts and Reading Books....Hopefully Not All At The Same Time.
I was tagged by Jennifer at Playgroups Are No Place For Children for this one. These are the rules: Put up a post "Real Moms [insert what you do here]", followed by an explanation, a picture (preferably a real one, but alas, I still am without a digital camera....), and a "Real Moms. Making ....". Then tag five people.


Not From Lapland said...

This is one of the funniest mom blogs ever! Thanks for the TBM link, I hope we are going to see some of your fabulous writing skills over there!

Amanda said...

Thanks for picking me. And yes, the day did get better, kind of- my period returned for the first time in three years(if past performance is any indication we should be pregnant again in like 3.7 seconds), I got sucker punched at 2am with the bug going around and so now I am home sick. Sheesh! I promise to make good on the tag.

And, I'd forgotten how much I hate having my period!

ed's girl said...

ok, miss writing major~this kind of "assignment" is stressing me out like I am back in highschool! I will see what i can do :0) YOu should have been a grammar teacher!

Heather said...

The Real Mom Mother Guilt is so true. Great post!

tulipmom said...

Thanks for the tag! Wasn't feeling like the world's best mom earlier today, but I have to say your "assignment" gave me a much-needed ego boost. We're not so bad after all!

Anonymous said...

Fantastic post! Had me in stitches on a morning I needed it badly. Thanks for the grin!!

Motherhood Uncensored said...

There's nothing like wiping butts with brilliance, eh?

Thanks for doing this and spreading the love.

Cate said...

How eloquently put! And so true! Fantastic!



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