Friday, November 17, 2006

Grocery Shopping

Payback is a bitch, right? Well, the boyz are certainly paying me back for leaving for 4 days. Yesterday was a good day. Sort of like the "honeymoon phase", if you will. Today has been HORRID. And it's only 1:30. I'm coming back to reality with a crash landing.

My Mistake: Taking all 3 to the grocery store, knowing it would take longer because of all of the Thanksgiving necessities to buy. I should've stopped myself before even leaving the house. Middle threw a FIT because he WANTED to wear a coat. Meanwhile it's crazy weather here--like over 60 in mid-November! All the boyz have on pants and long sleeves so no coats were necessary (I'm wearing exercise shorts and a tee shirt because I sweat like a hog in the grocery store, trying to race through there with all 3 of them...) So I wasn't going to fight about it with him (i.e., "picking my battles") so Middle left the house in a PUFFY WINTER vest as well. (I figured the vest wouldn't be as hot as a full fleece.)

Decided to put Baby in the backpack instead of in the shopping cart, to make more room for all the groceries. I'll say this though: I was organized. Baby in the backpack, shopping list at the ready, pen and list in hand, coupons all cut, and I was off. Middle was bribed with being able to watch a Thomas the Train DVD if he was good. For Eldest, it was a pack of gum at the checkout. They were forewarned.

So, today is the day Baby figures out how to GAG HIMSELF. He's on my back, sticking his FIST down his throat and making these awful choking noises. And thinks it's funny. This is after he's already had a piece of cheese at the deli, and half of it is smushed somewhere on my backside.

So we make it to the frozen aisle without anymore incidents. The boyz are munching on mini Oreos, so now I have Oreo dust on my shoulders from Baby, and Middle and Eldest have big chocolate mustaches (why are Oreos so messy??). Eldest asks for a frozen Kids Cuisine meal. The answer is no (they don't eat them--they just like the novelty of buying it--same thing with Lunchables). Eldest decides to not take no for an answer and proceeds to wimper and whine and drag himself through the last aisle (at one point he was ON THE FLOOR). All the while asking for gum, that he's already been warned he's only going to get if he's GOOD. So he pretty much knew it was no longer an option.

At the checkout, Eldest is saying over and over and over again, "I want gum", except he's not saying it in a normal voice, he's dragging it out by whining and making it almost like a chant at the same time. Hard to ignore, but I was doing my best. At the same time, Middle is FREAKING OUT because he wants to HOLD his Creamsicle yogurt and it's already been put in a bag, who knows where. So needless to say, we're making a big commotion. Customers are staring, they've got 2 baggers (not 1, but 2) bagging all my shit, and the customer in line behind me says to me, "You have the patience of a saint." I replied, "I drink a lot."

I swear we walked out of there to the faint sound of applause. They were sooo happy we were leaving.


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